Do I buy her a Xmas gift?

[mlchris2]

I've got a new dilema...

 

Wife and I seperated 4 months ago. Waiting on divorce, until she can afford it (I told her I wasnt paying for it). I hurt my wife deeply and it took the seperation to make me see what I did for 4 years. Because of this, my wife is acting out and isnt the same person and doing many things (drinking and having guys spend the night) that she wouldnt have done in the past.I still love my wife and dont want any of this. I've expressed this to her, but she wants no part of me. We try to be civil, becuase we have children. I've moved to another state after accepting a job offer I was trying to get, while we were still together.

 

I want to buy her a gift... not just any gift... but a "from the heart, love gift". I dont know what to do. I want to show her I still love her and dont mind buyin the gift. But at the same time, I dont want to buy her a gift and have her say "thanks" and have her toss it aside.

 

Do I buy her the "from the heart gift"?

Do I guy her just a "gift"?

Do I tell her to kiss my ass and no buy her a damn thing?

 

let me know...

 

MC

[Milo]

The one time I sent a gift to a girlfriend who broke up with me, she mailed it back unopened.

[Art_Critic]

Do I buy her the "from the heart gift"?

Do I guy her just a "gift"?

Do I tell her to kiss my ass and no buy her a damn thing?

 

 

You do none of these..

 

Since she is still your wife but won't have any part of you then you might just send her a card.. no mush.. just a card

 

Don't buy her a gift.. If you get your children for visitation then you could take your kids to buy her a gift from them..

[Ladyjane14]

Your best bet would probably be to not 'over-think' it. If you feel like buying her a gift....go ahead and do it. Just don't be extravagant in your spending. She might indeed send it back to you. Heck, she might even destroy it or give it away. So, be sure it's a small enough token that you aren't going to be 'put out' if she doesn't appreciate the gesture.

 

The best gifts are ones that have are representative of your shared memories anyway. So save the serious money for the kids. Buy her whatever new release is out on her favorite band, or a copy of whatever sappy old movie you know she likes....something small like that. The idea is to prove YOU know her taste.

 

On the card, you can even admit to her that you didn't know what the etiquette should be for gift-giving, but that you saw such 'n such thing, and thought of her.

 

If you're not ready to close the door on the relationship....then don't rush yourself. Let your heart move you, but don't put more on the table than you can afford to lose.

[RecordProducer]

Since she is still your wife but won't have any part of you then you might just send her a card.. no mush.. just a card

Since it sounds to me like you would rather not buy her anything then a card would be good.

Don't buy her a gift.. If you get your children for visitation then you could take your kids to buy her a gift from them..

Depending on your wife's personality and your relationship, this might not be such an innocent suggestion as it sounds like. When my parents divorced, my dad would pick some souvenire from our vacation for my mom (from me!) and she would basically ignore it. She'd say "thanks", but I felt that she knew it was from my dad and wanted to show me that she didn't really care. They were sending messages to each other through me; my dad: "I still love you", my mom: "I don't care." I was only 8-9 years old but I understood the messages and they hurt me.

 

I'd say always spare the children if you can. Give them money (even better if they can earn it by doing some house chore) and wait for them outside while they are buying a gift for your ex.