how to bring her back

[vampirekj]

I thought my story was complicated untill i see the posts here...

 

I've gone out with my ex-gf for a year, and broke up in this halloween. She told me the distance is making our relationship hard and she feels she's obliged to me rather than loving me.

 

It happend once in our relationship...before we went out, when i was going for her, she rejected me over my best friend. It was a lot of shock, almost gave me a mental breakdown...when i got over and started meeting another girl, she came back to me...because my best friend just left her without even going out with her. So I took her back and left the girl i was meeting. I sound like a total loser but I did and I dont regret.

 

Oh, we were in boarding school, and we started going out in senior year. We promised to get married and introduced each other to both parents by the end of our hiskool years. It may sound immature act but I've never thought of any girl past in my life as much. I always took relationships rather light. Never fully engaged myself nor was my life dependent on a girl. But she was whole lot different. She was just everything to me. School work, friends, sports, and all those didn't matter as much as before to me. There was only her in my life, as if she was the purpose of my life.

 

When she left me, I was numb for 2,3 days....and then I started to realize that she doesnt tell me she loves me anymore and felt as if the world has come to an end. I got alcohol-dependent for two weeks that I had to drink every night to get some sleep. I couldn't stay sobre cuz it was too much pain...I begged her to come back so many times over past month (over the phone)...every time I asked her, she told me it's not gonna work out, we've got no future, she doesnt love me as much as she did before.

 

I used one of my mutual friend (who knows both me and her) to get some info out of her...cuz she's like a person who never opens herself up. She always blame everything on herself and carry the pain by herself. She cries alone in bed when everybody sleeps. She used to open up to me, but now we broke up, she doesnt tell me how she's doing except "i'm fine. don't worry about me." So the friend of mine found some out. She still likes me more than a friend...she hasnt got over completely. But she wishes to move on with life.

 

I know why her feelings had faded away....It's cuz we've been fighting over a stupid thing for the last moments of our relationship...I was acting immature and impatient...cuz she kept on changing our vacation plan...and it seemed as if i'm not gonna see her as much as I expected....I missed her too much.

I called her crying baby who cant even live her own life...who always listen to her parents hurting me...I was wrong obviously cuz she was having a homesick, and she missed me as much as I missed her...All that pressurized her too much and ended up in anger and frustration....

 

 

To summarize,

 

1) gone out for a year, it's been 40-45 days since we broke up

2) i love her and i dont wanna let go her

3) i told her how dead i am and begged her to come back, but she resisted

4) we've been calling, mailing each other almost everyday over past month

5) she tells me she misses me and cares a lot for me "as a friend...."

but the freind really close to her told me she stilll likes me more than just

a friend

6) i'm gonna meet her this christmas

7) i'm gonna ask her out on christmas eve for a date be romantic, and

on christmas day, i'll ask her to come back in front of her friends, and

probably all the people in the restauratn...cuz i'm planning to borrow

a performance stage type of thing that the restauratns usually have...

 

 

i've read many posts....and it seems playing silence helps a lot...

and according to my experience once with her she came back to me when i was with other girl and moved on with my life....so is it gonna work the same way? Should I really stop calling or mailing her? Or is it just gonna help her removing me completely? Guyz....my post is really messy but please help me out....I really can't live without her...I can't concentrate on anything I do and messed up all my tests since we broke up...lost so much weight and fell sick...I need her back....please help me!