break up advice.. please help

[megan]

hey guys~

 

I just need a little advice. My boyfriend and I of a year and a half have been through so much together.. high school graduation, first year of college, grandma dying, brother's illness, new and old friendships changing.. we were each other's 'first' everythings.. etc. We are 19/20 and going to be sophmore's in college.

 

The thing is, after 1 week of dating I just felt like he was 'the one' and it completely freaked me out. I am not really afraid of commitment but for some reason I just felt like someday WAY down the road he was someone I could marry.. and all the other people before him I was just kinda like 'eh its a fling'. He told me up until the day we broke up he wanted to spent the rest of his life w/ me, he loved me forever.. etc..

 

Well lately we have been fighting about stpuid stuff. I think our relationship just got too serious for us at this young of an age .. we both kinda felt 'married' even though we aren't and aren't living together.. you know what i mean? anyway he broke up wiht me 2 weeks ago saying that he just wanted to be single for awhile. He is working like 50 hrs a week and going to summer school.. plus his friend is home from college this summer that he never ever sees, etc. so he has like NO spare time and no time fo ra relationship. He said that he needs to figure out his life and not be stressed ... he said he can't worry about if he forgot to call me or whatever. he just has to be on his own for awhile. He said he needs to date other people for awhile because I am his first ever real girlfriend. (he is pretty shy w/ girls) I told him I understood how he felt... i'm not mad that he needs space and I'm enjoying my time w/ friends.

 

The thing is, he was supposed to come over that week sometime to give me some things back that were at his house and vise versa. He never did. I called him a week after we broke up and he was like "i'm so sorry.. i've been so busy, etc.. ill call u tomorrow or the next day'. well he never called. He told friends that its nothinga gainst me he just has to be single for awhile since he's only 20 and can't be serious right now, etc.. well then I saw him at a store last thursday and he was all smiling and bought me a coke.. we sat and talked and he was really happy, saying "guess what i did last week?" and telling me about his work and friends. He was so nice and told me that he still wanted to be w/ me in the end, etc. I asked why he hadn't emailed me or called and he said he has just been too busy.. he even drove me to my car (on the other side of the mall) and when I got out was like "I promise to call/email and give you your stuff back" and I said you said that last week! and he was like "i will!!" and then i got out and he made some silly face and we were like how we used to be again.

 

Well it has been 5 days since then and he still has not called or emailed. what do u think he is doing?

 

Should i assume that he seriously is just too busy? All he has to do is pick up the phone once and say hey i'll come pick up my stuff tomorrow. We didnt' get into any fights or anything when we saw each other thurs.. we were just talking about how each other was doing, etc.

 

i am so confused. I feel so lost w/o him.. i am going out with friends every night, etc. but I feel like a part of me is just gone. I know that in the end it should work out but i miss my best friend.

 

any advice? Anyone gone through this??

 

thanks so much

 

i know it was long

[Sabrina]

Well girl I feel for ya. I am in and have been in that same boat for 3 yrs with my guy. He said the EXACT same thing isnt that crazy! I know believe me I know how upsetting it is. My guy did it to me saying the exact thing and he dated other girls and came back saying it was not the same without me. We both started dating my senior yr in high school and now I am a junior in college. Well we got together and broke up like 3 times this yr. Well after our worse fight ever we did not talk and I know he thought about me everyday and I am totally sure your guy will to. We just spent 3 months of the happiest times in my life together. We got along so well and like you he always saw me in his future. A week ago he left for the coast gaurd and freaked out saying he could not handle a relationship without seeing me. When a week before he wanted me to move with him! So explain that one. I believe that both of our relationships are the same in a way. If you ever wana talk you can respond to this and I will get in touch with you through email or something...I know it hurts , But just do what i do. and have done for the last 3 yrs. Know that if he acted truely happy and you know he wants you that he is probably just immature and scared. Thats how I look at it. EVerybody tells you that it wont work but you know in your heart that it is supposed to. So hang onto that and live your life. He will and probably soon grow up from the way it sounds judging also on my experience.

hey guys~ I just need a little advice. My boyfriend and I of a year and a half have been through so much together.. high school graduation, first year of college, grandma dying, brother's illness, new and old friendships changing.. we were each other's 'first' everythings.. etc. We are 19/20 and going to be sophmore's in college. The thing is, after 1 week of dating I just felt like he was 'the one' and it completely freaked me out. I am not really afraid of commitment but for some reason I just felt like someday WAY down the road he was someone I could marry.. and all the other people before him I was just kinda like 'eh its a fling'. He told me up until the day we broke up he wanted to spent the rest of his life w/ me, he loved me forever.. etc.. Well lately we have been fighting about stpuid stuff. I think our relationship just got too serious for us at this young of an age .. we both kinda felt 'married' even though we aren't and aren't living together.. you know what i mean? anyway he broke up wiht me 2 weeks ago saying that he just wanted to be single for awhile. He is working like 50 hrs a week and going to summer school.. plus his friend is home from college this summer that he never ever sees, etc. so he has like NO spare time and no time fo ra relationship. He said that he needs to figure out his life and not be stressed ... he said he can't worry about if he forgot to call me or whatever. he just has to be on his own for awhile. He said he needs to date other people for awhile because I am his first ever real girlfriend. (he is pretty shy w/ girls) I told him I understood how he felt... i'm not mad that he needs space and I'm enjoying my time w/ friends. The thing is, he was supposed to come over that week sometime to give me some things back that were at his house and vise versa. He never did. I called him a week after we broke up and he was like "i'm so sorry.. i've been so busy, etc.. ill call u tomorrow or the next day'. well he never called. He told friends that its nothinga gainst me he just has to be single for awhile since he's only 20 and can't be serious right now, etc.. well then I saw him at a store last thursday and he was all smiling and bought me a coke.. we sat and talked and he was really happy, saying "guess what i did last week?" and telling me about his work and friends. He was so nice and told me that he still wanted to be w/ me in the end, etc. I asked why he hadn't emailed me or called and he said he has just been too busy.. he even drove me to my car (on the other side of the mall) and when I got out was like "I promise to call/email and give you your stuff back" and I said you said that last week! and he was like "i will!!" and then i got out and he made some silly face and we were like how we used to be again. Well it has been 5 days since then and he still has not called or emailed. what do u think he is doing? Should i assume that he seriously is just too busy? All he has to do is pick up the phone once and say hey i'll come pick up my stuff tomorrow. We didnt' get into any fights or anything when we saw each other thurs.. we were just talking about how each other was doing, etc. i am so confused. I feel so lost w/o him.. i am going out with friends every night, etc. but I feel like a part of me is just gone. I know that in the end it should work out but i miss my best friend. any advice? Anyone gone through this?? thanks so much i know it was long