kay_88 Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 I am 19 years old and will be 20 in July. My boyfriend is 23 and will be 24 in August. He wants to get married in September. I feel confident in our love for each other, but I just don't feel any support from anywhere. Everyone in the free world seems to think that our age is too young to marry. But if you feel confident in yourselves, and feel deep down that this person is right for you, should age really matter? We both realize the hardships that come with married life (he has been married before to a verbally abusive wife, which is why they are divorced) and we both understand that it is a give and take relationship that takes a lot of busting butt to make work. Again, should age matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 I'm a mom of a 21 yo daughter and a 19 yo son. You won't like what I say, but I'll say it anyway and hope that you think about it. I wouldn't want either of my kids to marry at this point. I got married when I was 20. I didn't have a higher education. I went from living with my parents to living with my husband. I was never on my own. I didn't know what it was like to feel independent. I started feeling like I was growing inside a cage that wasn't growing with me. I had a driving need to expand my horizons beyond being a mom/wife and a worker. I went to school while my kids were toddlers. It was not fun. Then, I felt that I had to feel self-sufficient. I couldn't/wouldn't leave with two little kids, so I stayed until both graduated from high school. I am now on my own and feel good about myself. My advice is: Get an education. Be sure that you have the skills to support yourself, because the divorce rate is about 50%. If you don't get divorced, there may come a point in your married life when your hubby can't work and you have to put food on the table. More advice: Don't think that at age 19, this guy is the "only one" who will love you. (A mistake I made.) Even more advice: If you love each other, what is the rush to get married? If you love each other, a piece of paper isn't going to change that. If you love each other, your love will endure a year or two. If you are in a hurry to married, it might be because one of you (or both) think it's the way to stay together. Link to post Share on other sites
pixiestick85 Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Well ask your self this question do you see yourself with this guy 10 years from now, how about 20? I am 20 yrs old and my husband is 34 we have been married now for 1 1/2 been together for 3, we have a beautiful daughter now, and we love eachother very much, and cannot imagine my life without him. We respect eacthother, and listen to eachother, and we never tke eachother for granted...........So keep in mind, before you decided which path you take in life, because you never know whats around the corner... Link to post Share on other sites
MsBlink Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 I most definitely can relate to what you're experiencing...of course, not in the same experience (cuz everyone's life has it's own unique ups and downs)...but the factor of age does play a rather signifacnt role in all relationships Afterall, you don't want to be with someone you don't feel in-sync with. My fiance and I are two years apart in age but considered by "society" to be too young for planning a marriage. *Shrugs* I agree with the first person who left you a post who said that if you two really love each other, you can maintain waiting. A piece of paper really won't change much, emotionally. I do, however, challenge the factor of saying that at your age you should not have a desire to marry. If you are a more lacked person, who feels divorce is not such a bad thing (or are not highly religious), then this might be a beautiful learning experience. You love this person enough to want to share a part of your life with them--if it does not last "forever", you are still capable of recovering and loving again. No one has the key to the questions within your heart. You love him, marry him. Do it when you're ready. Be responsible for your actions, and cherish every waking moment you share with him. If he sincerely loves you, he'll feel the same way now, tomorrrow, and the day following. Best wishes... ~MsBlink Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 The next 5 years are going to be fun ones. Live a little. If he's the one, he'll still be around. Not that this has anything to do with the two of you being right for each other, but I find it strange that after one failed marriage at such an early age that he would want to get married again so soon. How long have you two been together? Link to post Share on other sites
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