Being set up to take the bait

[JadeStar]

Ok so my neighbor and I were talking earlier today, and she has told me things about her situation with her husband before. Shes a nice person and I don't mind listening to her, however she told me something this morning that struck me as one of the most odd things she has said.

 

She said that she had often wondered if her husband had/would cheat. Now, I don't think its that she really thinks he is but more so wonders if he would because of a comment he made to her not too long ago about how he was tired of their sex life lacking, and he might as well go out and get it from someone else.

 

So she tells me she was thinking of hiring an escort. She would tell the escort the deal as far as maybe propositioning her husband etc to see if he would take the bait. I can not help but think this is a bad idea for many reasons. She asked me what I thought and I told her I thought it wasn't a good idea. She said she doubts she will go through with it but she has really been thinking about it. Do others feel this is a bad idea too?

 

 

 

 

Jade

[lilmoma1973]

 

I don't know what i would do in this situation but i probably would do it to just to know for myself if she does it tell the person not to do anything just see if he takes the bait then say busted and the friend be somewhere hiding !! I guess you never know till you in that situation ! Women do strange things for love !! Does she think he will do it ?

[JadeStar]

I asked her if she thought he would do it. She said she didn't think he would. However I guess my concern is what if he does. I know and understand she wants to know, but it may just open up another can of worms. When she first told me this I couldn't help but think it sounded like something out of a movie or TV show, but guess some people have done this, I dunno.

 

 

 

Jade

[seachange]

This might sound pissy, but I don't mean it that way. I'm just wondering why she wouldn't take all that energy that she'd put into spying and hiring people and being angry and whatnot and use it instead to work with him to figure out how to re-stimulate their sex life, what he feels is lacking and if it's something she can and/or would want to try to solve.

 

I guess if you just want to know if someone would cheat, it would tell you something...but it seems like a lot of wasted energy. Either her answer will be a. inconclusive at best (if he says no, who's to say it wouldn't be yes at another time/place/person?), or b. at worst, a horrible confrontation after which she'll then have to figure out different solutions anyway (would he always have cheated, or just now that he's unhappy? how do I feel about that? what do I do with this new knowledge?)

 

Trust is eroded because he said that stupid thing, but he could have just been saying it in anger. Seems like, if she's really worried, time would be better spent working on their communication and answering those same questions up front. I'm just sayin'. (I know you're not responsible for telling her any of this stuff, jade, I'm just being a blowhard. )

[JadeStar]

I understand what you're saying sea, but I guess since they have had so many problems over the years and with lots of other issues as well, I guess she just feels at her wits end especially when he made that comment to her, about the lack of sex and him going to get it from another. Maybe it was a slap in the face. He told her he didn't really mean it and that he was frustrated, but guess since he said it he must have been feeling that way or maybe even considering it. I really don't think she will do the escort/set up thing, I think she was just thinking outloud.

 

 

 

Jade