Self esteem issue

[Meta]

I realized after having a crush on Bert, I have a serious self esteem issue. Honestly, I think I'm a great person and I don't think I'm that bad looking...though I can loose about 30 lbs. Anyway, all my life this has been keeping me from loving people and accepting people. I would really appreciate some advice on this matter. How do you rebuild your self esteem? Is it possible?

[odyne]

I realized after having a crush on Bert, I have a serious self esteem issue. Honestly, I think I'm a great person and I don't think I'm that bad looking...though I can loose about 30 lbs. Anyway, all my life this has been keeping me from loving people and accepting people. I would really appreciate some advice on this matter. How do you rebuild your self esteem? Is it possible?

Of course it's possible! By realizing you may have a problem with low self esteem, you're already part of the way into fixing it. From what I've read so far from you, you seem to be a smart person, and you care a lot about other people. Do you care about yourself? I know that sounds cheesy, but I'm completely serious. I think I said this before, but just in case, I'll say it again. You won't be able to truly help anyone else (Bert, in the other posts) if you aren't secure. Do you do nice things for yourself? The question of if you can rebuild your self esteem all depends on you. I think that is where a lot of people go wrong. It's okay to take advice from other people, or let them inspire you to do things, but if you change, do it because *you* want to change, not for anyone else. It sounds like you admit you are worthy, you just need to find some ways to gain more confidence in yourself. I personally don't think looks matter, but if you think you'll feel better if you looked a little different, there are many ways to accomplish that(join a gym, pick up a sport, buy some new clothing that makes you feel good about yourself). Another thing to remember, is that the most important aspect of how you look revolves around if you are healthy. Some people are can be underweight and unhealthy. It seems like society has this opinion that being "overweight" is unhealthy. Muscle weighs more than fat! Don't worry about your weight as long as it is where you want to be and you are healthy. Sorry if it seems like I'm ranting about that, but it's a personal issue with me, and I hate to see people changing themselves for the wrong reasons. There are other things you can do...think of 3 things you really like to do, and treat yourself! If you work hard on something, accept that you put your all into it, and reward yourself. Realize that you are capable of just about anything you want to do. Be adventurous, I know someone who was very timid and down on herself, and she took a leap and went white water rafting. Now she loves it and wants to be a riverguide. She has so much more confidence now that she has proven to herself that she can do things if she puts her all into it. I know this sounds like another suggestion from a cheap self help book, but make lists of things you are proud of about yourself. Come up with 5 a day, and maybe 1 thing a week you want to change. Start small, then build. You are worthy of love, (here i go with the cheese again) you can't appreciate other people loving you until you love yourself. I may sound like I am confident about all this, but I have big problems with self esteem myself. It's hard to open up your eyes and see yourself as a valuable life, but it can be done. Be patient, let me know if there is anyway I can help.

 

Bonne chance,

 

Odyne

[Meta]

Thank you again. It seems like you really listen and care...which makes me feel so much better. I have decided to work out and see how it feels...I think it's a good start. I just need to occupy my mind on something else. Again, thank you so much.

[odyne]

No problem! I am here to help. I know sometimes it takes that extra boost of motivation to get started on something like working out, but it's really great that you have the will to do it. I've also found that it not only makes me feel better physically, but mentally. Endorphins! There are actual chemical reasons why exercise will make you feel better, but most of all, just be who you want to be and don't let insecurity get in the way. Sounds like you're doing well. Take care.