Overseas love after 2mths of dating???

[puppy_love]

Hi guys, I am totally confused about the situation I find myself in.

 

I am currently on a study abroad program and have met a great guy here. We've been seriously seeing each other for about 2 months now (Ive known him for about 3 months in total). He's everything I want in a guy and I know I am falling in love with him. I know he feels the same way too. The only thing is that I have to leave in a few weeks time and start a new job at home. He has to stay here for school for at least another 3 years. We live in totally different parts of the world. We have been talking about a LDR. But the most we would be able to see each other is once every 8-9 months.

 

I am totally lost as to what to do. I know that if we break it off, I would be heartbroken. But if we don't, is it only going to lead to more heartbreak in the future? Is two months of seeing each other long enough to sustain a LDR or am I just being a hopeless romantic?? I know we are in the honeymoon stage of the relationship right now and feel like our love can move mountains but what about 9 months down the track?

 

The other thing is that we are both still young (under 22) and realistically, we have so much left ahead of us to experience. Shall I just take the wonderful memories and go or shall I try & hold onto a guy I absolutely adore?Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

lost & confused.

[ZGT1503]

Hi puppy_love, this is a situation where you will never know the right thing to do. Look at it like this, even in regular non-LDR relationships you never know what will happen a few months or years down the track. It's true that trying to continue a relationship in different countries is hard, and 2 months is not long to base it on. But the problem with your situation is that if you finish things, it is based on circumstance rather than something being wrong between the 2 of you.

I am currently in an overseas LDR. I met my boyfriend while we were both in Australia for a year, and was with him 4 months before he went back to Europe. I'm still here. We had the same discussion as you, whether we could do it, but our advantage is that we only have to be apart for a few months and then I'm moving to be with him.

Being apart for more than a year or 2 is going to be tough. BUT... if you don't take risks in life then you will never know what might have happened. Yeah, you might get hurt, but at least you have tried. I once finished a relationship when there was nothing wrong between us, because my boyfriend moved away. And I regretted it, because I never tried and never knew what might have happened.

No one can tell you what will happen, but this is true of any relationship.

You sound pretty realistic and not at all like you are romanticising things - you are well aware of the risks and the fact that you've discussed it together is good. I think as long as the 2 of you are in agreement on how to move forward (this is the important thing, that you both want the same thing), then you should give it a go, if that's what you feel in your heart. You can always finish it if it's not going well!

Will you be very far away from each other?

Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide. Go with how you feel...

[jayteresa]

Basically you could break up now and feel heart broken, or you could give it a go and it may work out, if it doesnt you will feel heart broken, same as the first choice. Go with what you really want, what do you have to lose.

I only say this as I met a guy from Oz when I lived in London. From the start I knew he was moving back there in four months time, but we had the best time together, and when he left I thought I would be OK. But five weeks after, I called him and said I was going to visit him. That was six months later, and again we had the most amazing time. He ended up moving back to London to be with me a month after my visit. We spent eight fantastic months together, until he realized that England wasnt like home so he had to move back. Yes I was heart broken, but I would not want to turn back time, I loved the time we had together, and who knows?!

Maybe I like chasing dreams too much, but if you really feel something for someone then is it not worth chasing after?!

Yes you may be young, but is this not the best time to be doing this kind of thing? If it does not work, you may hurt for a while, but we all learn and move on.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

[RecordProducer]

You can continue the relationship, but if your feelings are not strong enough, they will fade with time. And vice versa, you can break it off, but if you're truly in love, you won't be able to forget each other.

 

I'd say promise each other that you won't hide your feelings from one another. He could be your Mr. Right. And he could be Mr. Wrong. Who can tell you the correct answer except time and you two lovebirds?

[Confucius]

I have been in a overseas LDR for the last 8 months now. We met in at school here in the states and have even lived together for 2 years. We have been together for 2.75 years now. She is in Europe and I'm in the states. We truly love each other and haven't given up on the fact that we are probably only going to be able to see each other once or twice a year for a week a two. Being young and the way the world is changing anything can happen. I could find myself with a job opportunity to go overseas. She might want to go to graduate school here in the States. One thing we made sure to do though was to tell each other exactly how we feel about each other and figure out the best way to communicate. Devise a plan whether to talk every other day or once a week? You CAN'T have fights over the phone in LDR. That will be the quickest killer of any relationship. What is considered a small spat when you're face to face is magnified 10 times when you're in a LDR because you can't hug or kiss the person or talk it out like you normally would. The good thing is you're still in the honeymoon stage of your relationship though. I would say you would have to work a lot harder at it than we do because we have also lived together for two years. Make sure you also drop occasional e-mails or text messages saying you love the other person which shows you are at least thinking about the other even in your busy life. If you send or receive these make sure the other responds so it doesn't become one sided and the other thinks they are the only one trying to keep the relationship going. You definitely don't want that. Your best friend is going to be time and patience and a picture of them on your wall. I wish you the best of luck and remember the world is a much smaller place now than it was years ago.