In-Laws...I need help!

[tbackenstoes]

Hi,

I am new on this forum and need some goooood advice please!

 

A little bit of info first, My husband and I are recently married (july) and we are also pregnant! Due in March!

 

Before we got married everything was pretty good between families and I truly loved his mom! Now things are getting very hairy and fast! It all started with stupid things such as (at the time we still lived at home) her coming in our bedroom at like 5am to collect our laundry? I have told her over and over that I can do my own laundry (it was very akward) Then once we did move out we moved about 45 min away and she made plans to sleepover valentines weekend!!! Then we got a puppy and the little guy has a sensitve stomach so we have had him now a year and I still have to ask her to please not give him treats he get's sick does she listen!!!! She was always very nice but yet slyly controlling like inviting us out to dinner but we would end up being gone the entire day with them. That was just the little annoying stuff. So anyways last time we visited home she gave my puppy treats behind my back the whole car ride home he threw up! So I had had enough. I didn't want to call her and confront her I get like anxiety attacks and didn't want to be stressed out especially now that I am pregnant anyways so I wrote her an email stating that this was not meant to be rude or mean in anyway saying how when we visit could you please listen to me I feel like I am constantly asking the sames things of you and you never listen. Well I was told she spent the whole day at work crying over this letter she brought it home to my father-in-law who then called my husband yelling at him when I wrote the letter. Then I finally talked to her and she said she wants us to be able to talk about things and be open. I said ok.

A few days later my husbands cell phone rings it was his fathers cell phone he answered and they didn't know they called I guess he kept saying hello, hello dad? and then he got really quite. In the background his mom had said how she just got off the phone with my husbands brother and he was upset with me he thinks that I do not respect or appreciate them and she was saying how I have alot of growing up to do and then the phone got disconneceted! I lost it I was balling my eyes out I have never disrespected them in my life there were times I treated them better than my own parents!!!! So I guess my question is she never really apologized just said she doesn't want any hard feelings, christmas is what two weeks away? I am considering not spending much time over there when we visit I think I will be staying with my parents (they live like five blocks away) should I open presents with them? My husband is upset with me right now he doesn't understand why I am so upset? I am so upset cause she seems so fake to me now, to talk about me behind my back then send this mushy christmas card! FAKE that's what it seems like, and with this baby coming? I will not let her make me feel like that again and yet she thinks everything is ok, and I haven't even talked to her since this? What should I do I am soooo upset and hurt but yet I want her to know that I am truly upset, but I don't think she will care she only cares about herself! Please help my husband is tired of me talking about it yet I have to get it off my chest and I need help before the holidays because I cannot pretend that everything is alright I can't and I won't.

Please help thanks!