Me,Ballbat, an Hubby

[Tricia]

Yeah,U read it right-I freaked!!!

Before I get started,I just wanna say as bad as it sounds,it was prolly the best thing for me that could have happened and noone got hurt.

KK,Here it goes:

Friday nite,I was just at my wits end,I couldn't take anymore,he was out an I snapped.I went to his fathers at 2 in the morning,hid my car down the road,an with my aluminum(sp?)Bat I waited,I was up the entire night,until he came in.The longer I paced an checked my mobile account The madder I got.It's crazy I know,I have never in my life done anything like this.He never returned my calls or Text,this ofcoarse made matters worse.He finally strolled in at 2:30 in the afternoon,I went after him,he laughed(an Ran) the entire time.A friend that was there did get the bat from me,but it didn't stop me,I still went after him.I hit,an pushed all the while screaming "What have U Done?"Still he's laughing,I was so mad.

I calmed down enough to where I was no longer attacking him,an he told me,no matter what I think,he has done nothing wrong.He is playing mind games an trying to make me believe ppl are interested in him.Swears on our son he has been with noone.That another woman is not our problem.

I left an came home,I have never been so close to ending ALL of my problems in my life,this goes against EVERYTHING I believe in.I was a mess,not even talking to my mother.People calling all day,worried I was gonna do something stupid,I didn't answer my phone but heard the messages.Samething Sunday,I was bad off but got myself up,so ashamed of myself an what I had done,but got all dressed up an went to go get our son.He ended up taking us both out to eat.We talked on the phone an it was mentioned how did either of us expect to find our way back if we started seeing other ppl.He said nothing.

He called me at 8am the next morning an says he has thought about what I said and wants me to go get help an we may can work on things.Ok,I was thinking we would at least be on a bf/gf level----Tuesday I had all hope ripped from me yet AGAIN.Nothing until I get MY HEAD STRAIGHT.

I got to thinkin,well ya know this is NOT all me,where does he come in at?

So the way I looked at it an still do,I go thru all this to get myself straight(Will anyway)an still he holds all the cards an it is up to him if he wants me or not-well I'm just not going that route,he has made no mention of himself,just me----when his mind games an mood swings are a big part of the problem.So anyway I told him that this coming weekend was mine.I was goin out an he had our son Fri.an Sat-he came back with I will mess around on him,so he is goin out Sun.I just shook my head an said wutever!

He does not wanna hear about US,anything I have done for him,which far outweighs anything he has done for me in 11 yrs.Makes him feel guilty I guess.He got really mad at me last nite.He has nothing to say to me when I am standing 2 feet from him,will act as if I am not there,but when he wants something(No,not sex anymore)he is callin my phone.He got mad b/c I wouldn't do something for him.Well I had just left an he had NOTHING to say to me,didn't even look at me,then calls asking me for help-Nah,don't work like that.

I got fed up,I wrote him an e-mail told him do whatever he wanted to me,I will get over it an all he is doin now is making it easier on me.The tables have turned somewhat.I'm not begging or crying,he knows I am now thinking about going out,which he has done 2 weeks in a row,he don't want me doin it thou.

I told him in my e-mail He don't want me,let me go an don't look back.

That was yesterday,I have heard nothing from him since.

I am wondering why I went crazy over someone that has treated me badly for a long time.I am questioning everything now.I have started counciling an have many appointments ahead.Like I told him-It's him that will wake up,realize what he has done an it will be far to late for I'm sorry then.I also have told him I know he does not Love me,he says I don't know what I'm talking about,I tell him I got it he don't want to be with me,again-I don't know what I'm talking about.He did admit on Sun.he was miserable-U can see it on his face an he is drinking again,even if it is only on the weekends,he promised he wouldn't,said he couldn't.That is why he has no license,a DUI-I have been taking him everywhere for 21/2 yrs.

Thats it in a nut shell,

I do so much appreciate everyones concern.I did get on here a few times an was gonna post,nothing would come out thou.

[Outcast]

Please get into therapy immediately. Consider it an emergency.

[Tricia]

I expected that:p

[Devils Advocate]

I expected that:p

 

 

Did you expect this one ?

 

You just signed away custody of your son if your husband decides that he wants full custody. Bah if he wants to he can take the boy, keep the house, pay no alimony and put you in jail for up to 5 years and keep you from ever being alone with your son again.

Attempted assault with a deadly weapon and signs of severe emotional disturbance.

 

Did you see this one coming ? Maybe that's why he was laughing at you... you just saved him a fortune.

[Tricia]

Ya think it was a sign of emotional disturbance,Ofcoarse it was!

I had just been in the center 2 days before,begging for help.Again I haven't given up anything,I am fully aware of the law an so is he,if he was gonna do something,he should have done it then and NEITHER of us believe in calling the COPS.There were no witnesses to anything physical that went on between he an I,she had gotten the bat an never looked back,sure wouldn't say anything anyway.

No,he wasn't laughing because I just saved him a Fortune,he was laughing b/c thats HIM

[Craig]

I am wondering why I went crazy over someone that has treated me badly for a long time.

I'd guess because you are finding it easier to act out on your emotions than when you lived with your husband.

 

People can get used to anything. You have been in a crappy situation for a while now and what seems normal or even crappy to you does look very serious to other people.

 

Ever notice that some people can't see what is messed up with their lives but other people can? Maybe that is what is going on for you. Maybe some other people like the other posters above see things in a way that you don't right now.

 

I know that you trust yourself not to get into trouble with the law because you think you can handle an aluminum bat without hurting your husband BUT honestly the prisons have a lot of women just that thought just like that. All it takes is one slip or a little extra anger that pushes you to swing a little harder and the next thing you know you are sitting in pre-trial lockup drinking coffee with your pd wondering how everything happened so quickly.

 

These times are hard, there is no doubt about it and you are doing the right thing by starting counseling. Best wishes and I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.

[Becoming]

Devils Advocate is often so extreme in his posts that he can be easily dismissed, but listen to him because . . .

 

He's right!

 

Your behavior is completely out of control and you could lose your son if you don't get it under control.

 

It's your job to take care of you, not anyone else's. You might want to start.

[OldEurope]

This relationship is absolutely over and, again, Devil's A is right. Please please please do not end up behind bars and taken away from your son because of this rage and anger you are feeling. Can you move out of state or several towns away? Can you get away from the patterns and habits of life that bring your husband ever nearer in your path? What actually is it that you want? As I read your posts, its sex with him one minute, baseball bats the other. Please get a grip, your dignity and self worth recovered, and just do not ever contact this man, your husband, again.

[Art_Critic]

Swinging a bat at another person is crazy and criminal.. What would you have done to him if he did it to you ? You would've called the police and have him arrested..

 

Then you make your baseball bat swing part of permanant record and post about it on LS.. if your husband knows you post on LS he can use your post as proof you are nuts and require medical care.

 

Get help Please.. before you winf up in jail

[scobro]

how long is his licence suspended for?

[slubberdegullion]

Tricia, sweetie, what were you thinking? I don't deny for a moment that he's put you through the wringer, but scampering after him with a baseball bat isn't a rational response.

 

Please, please get some help.

[Mz. Pixie]

The reality is that if he's documenting all of this then it can most certainly be used against you.

 

You also would be surprised at what people will do to be spiteful. That includes him. There was a witness to your behavior as well that could be called in to testify.

 

He can also pull in your computer and run the hard drive and see everything you've ever posted. I KNOW people that it has happened to.

 

Please please please get some help. I would recommend you checking yourself into a facility at this point. You need a cooling off period and some intense help. Then, if it came out at court time that you did this you could always have a record of being treated.

[Tricia]

Don't any of U stop to think I KNOW what I did was crazy,irrational,extreame,everyword that describes instability comes to mind.This is not in my character,this is not me.I felt horrible that I let someone get me to that point.If it makes any of U feel any better,I didn't ever swing the bat on him,I never, ever would have.I don't know what I was thinking,I wasn't ME.Truth be told the bat wasn't for him,it was for the chick that brought him home to get her out of her car,nothing happened the way I had worked it up in my mind,there was no woman.Like if there was a woman,she would have gotten out of her car w/a derranged woman with a bat standing over her.

I know most of the things some of U are saying is very true,I also know I am not the only woman who has acted out at a situation they can no longer control.Yes,I also know some are in prison now.

None of U know Me,My Life or what he has done to me.My life is a made for TV movie,the DR.I seen 1st has requested to be my only Dr.She is Intrieged by me an my life.She doesn't understand how I have been able to keep it together as long as I have.I should have been sitting in a padded room in a straight jacket a longtime ago with everything I have been thru,but it took the man I loved with my soul to finally do me in.I am a strong,witty,fun and Intelligent woman,that made a horrible mistake,that I will forever regret,I also learned from it.I do thank God things did not get out of hand that day.

And AGAIN as bad as it is what I did,it made me realize many things I have refused to see for sooooooo long.

 

I have not posted a 1/4 of what I have been thru with this man,the abuse I have went thru.I was really pused to far an I felt it coming on,I knew I was bad off,I had been begging for help!!!!!!!

Since all of this has happened,I have realized he is poison to me,he plays mind games I can't handle,nor will I put up with anylonger,he or no other man is worth my sanity.I truly lost it over a man!!!!

If any of U knew me,U woulda thought I was the last woman this could ever happen to,but it did.I am ashamed of it.I did go to my Dr.appointment the following Monday an I did tell her what I had done.We talked about it,an I along with my husband will put it behind us.He knows I have never even come close to anything like this an he also knows he has went to far with me this time.

We have had NC now for 2 days.I realize that is not long for some of U,but for me an him.It Is.I have not cried,not gotten upset.All that is on my mind now is all the appointments I have set up to rebuild myself an my life.

[lilmoma1973]

 

Sorry to hear what your h done to and you never know what you will do in a situation like that something just snaps in you and you don't think you just act!! You got to get it together for your son and go talk with someone!! You don't want him to have your son ,he will get out easy and you will lose everything for that dumbass!! If you need someone to chat with PM me anytime !! Good Luck!!

[Tricia]

Thank U Very Much!!!!!!!!!!!

[lilmoma1973]

Thank U Very Much!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Your so welcome !!

[fomerlyniceguy]

Uh well I can't say that was in your best interest, it kinda sounds like one of the stories I read in the Sunday papers Police Blotter. Are you sure you want to be labeled "Violent Stalker" in the newspaper? Try explaining that to your next love interest. Next time you feel uncontrollable rage like that find a stray animal or a homeless person(Just kidding:( , oh my God I'm going to go to hell for that one).

[Becoming]

Sorry to be so hard on you earlier T. You're right. Most of us have all done crazy things we regretted. Glad you're getting help. You may have put up with a lot because he was the only one who didn't leave you or die on you and you were scared. But now you're learning how strong you really are. And how weak and scared, too, and that's a horrifying place to be. Keep working on you. And if your h can't drive, why should he care that you have the car? He can find some other way to get around. Don't talk to him. He is like alcohol to an alcoholic to you. You may think you can handle him, but you can't. Start writing down everything that's happened to you. Sometimes writing it all out helps give us perspective.

[Mz. Pixie]

None of U know Me,My Life or what he has done to me.My life is a made for TV movie,the DR.I seen 1st has requested to be my only Dr.She is Intrieged by me an my life.She doesn't understand how I have been able to keep it together as long as I have.I should have been sitting in a padded room in a straight jacket a longtime ago with everything I have been thru,but it took the man I loved with my soul to finally do me in.

QUOTE]

 

Tricia,

I wasn't intending upon sounding harsh, I was just stating the truth.

 

My life itself is a made for TV movie. I have friends who tell me they do not see how I've lived, therapist who have told me the same, so I can somewhat relate to what you're saying. I never suffered physical abuse from my husband but I suffered it in my childhood and I have PTSD because of everything I've been through. I've been told for years I need to write a book about my life story.

 

Whatever woman your husband is seeing?? It's not her problem he's a ASS. He is the one who made vows with you and he is the one that owes you an explanation. Forget about her if there is anyone- and there probably is.

 

This is a toxic relationship. I didn't mean to be harsh but I gave you the same advice I'd give a friend if they were in this situation. I can totally see how someone can be pushed to the edge- especially someone who has been abused- but what you want to do is to stop the cycle for your child's sake.

 

What I'm concerned about is you losing custody of your child because of appearing irrational. Do not let this man, who is unworthy of you and your love, take anything more away from you than he already has. He's not worth it.

[tinktronik]

I know what its like to feel , driven crazy by your spouse and his actions. But you have to stop . This will only damage your charecter , and everyone else is right , put the dead end line in your relationship with your son. Your ex can and if it comes down to it most likely will use your actions against you. But I do understand.

A few weeks after my youngest son was born (2 1/2 wks) I found out from some select people that my ex was sleeping with the pizza girl. The pizza girl admitted , her husband admitted it .So I called the H , asked , he pretended not to know what I was talking about , I was crazy , he said ( damn right I was crazy) . I called a friend had them come pick up my kids .I called hubby back , still nothing , I knew her talked to the pizza girl and knew shed told me about the times in our bed when the kids were present .

I went out to the garage with a bat and a set of keys and f()#@ed up his car, bad. He was driving a mustang cobra stv, brand new , all sorts of mods .

He was pissed , but it was OUR car on paper. And I paid for the repairs.

I am so embarrassed about this now, I acted in a way ,I much less most people cannot picture me acting. Others that know my ex , even his friends all said well thats what he gets. But no I dont .I do not act that way , I never will again , It was a horrible feeling I had inside , but that is no excuse , Ive appologized to my ex about the car , but what a redneck thing I did . The only end to it was to improve my own circumstance.

[Tricia]

As hard as it is for me to grasp what I did,it is what it took to make see-HE'S NOT WORTH IT!!!

After thinking and reliving alot of what we have been thru,all the broken promises,all the mind games he plays-I REALLY GOT IT!!!!

I am so much happier.As of now I am packing the rest of his things to take to his fathers,I have made plans to go out Friday.Do I think anything like this will ever happen again,NOWAY!!!

He or no-one else will ever put me in that situation again,I have never done anything like this before an it will not happen again,this I KNOW.

As far as me losing my son,NOT GONNA HAPPEN.He is no angel ok.He won't win over me,I can promise that.I will hit him where it hurts the most,his wallet.No other Hitting will take place:)

My thoughts,my temperment,everything about me is better.I wouldn't take him back on his hands an knees.I am better than he ever deserved!I know it,he knows it an so does everyone else.

I am better than all of this and I will continue doing what my DR. tells me.In the end I am gonna be better,stronger an happier.I didn't know these things before,I was scared.Becoming,U were right on! Everyone has died an left me,he was all I thought I had left,he promised me he would NEVER leave me.I was terrified.I was mad when I opened my eyes every morning,I didn't want to breath.I have none of those feelings anymore.NOONE is worth making me feel like I don't want to be alive.

I have a long way to go,I am a very strong woman who lost it for a short period of time.In the end,I WILL WIN!

[Becoming]

You go, girl!

 

And read this during those times when you don't believe it.

[Tricia]

Good Idea Becoming!!!!!!!

[scobro]

how long is his license suspended?

[Tricia]

It has been suspended now for the last 3 yrs.He can now get a hardship license for work,which he is NOW gonna do.To get his regular License back won't be until aug.(I think)of 06.