What should I do?

[Anonymous]

1) Sex has become boring,my fault I just don't want to have sex with her anymore

 

2) I think we both do,I'm always thinking about meeting someone else,the thought of spending another 7 years in an unhappy relationship scares the hell out of me

 

3) I love her and she loves me,however the relationship has become like flat mates,not soulmates.I have been with her 7 years and lived together for 6.5 years of that time.I have played around lots,but she doesn' tknow about it.I don't know what I would do if I met someone else I really liked and wanted to have a relationsip with,this happened a couple of time before,each time i have backed off and remained with GF

 

4) i can't see how it could ever be resolved;i think they call this the 7 years itch.I'm only in my late 20's I feel i should be enjoying life.I earn a good salary,less than 30 years old,never married,ok looking,tall,good build and postgraduate education.I feel i have a lot going for me.yet my average Friday night seems to be sitting in front of the TV with a glass of wine

 

At least we aren't married with kids.Our respected families are expecting us to get married in the near future.Her family has told her to leave me as I obviously have no intention of getting married,that was 2 years ago.

 

She is the best GF a man could ask for,she has a great body,good job and salary,she's a great cook and loves cooking etc,but something is just not right.

 

I have a 4 day golf trip next month in UK,the GF said she'll leave me if i go, should I go?

[clia]

What are you doing? If you're that unhappy, why are you staying in this relationship? One thing you have to remember is that when you've been with someone for a long period of time, the relationship can become comfortable. It's not going to be like meeting some hot chick out at the bar and getting that initial pang of excitement. You have to do things to add spice to your relationship. Comments below...

1) Sex has become boring,my fault I just don't want to have sex with her anymore

Why not? Do you still find her attractive? Does she turn you on? You state below that she has a good body. What's the problem here? Why don't you buy a kama sutra book and try something new?

2) I think we both do,I'm always thinking about meeting someone else,the thought of spending another 7 years in an unhappy relationship scares the hell out of me

Then why do it?

3) I love her and she loves me,however the relationship has become like flat mates,not soulmates.I have been with her 7 years and lived together for 6.5 years of that time.I have played around lots,but she doesn' tknow about it.I don't know what I would do if I met someone else I really liked and wanted to have a relationsip with,this happened a couple of time before,each time i have backed off and remained with GF

Why have you backed off? Because you're comfortable with GF? You need to evaluate why you are in this relationship and what you're getting out of it. After 7 years, you probably think it will be very hard to break up and find someone else. Well, it will be hard to break up, but if you're as great as you say you are, it won't be hard to find someone who you can really be happy with.

4) i can't see how it could ever be resolved;i think they call this the 7 years itch.I'm only in my late 20's I feel i should be enjoying life.I earn a good salary,less than 30 years old,never married,ok looking,tall,good build and postgraduate education.I feel i have a lot going for me.yet my average Friday night seems to be sitting in front of the TV with a glass of wine At least we aren't married with kids.Our respected families are expecting us to get married in the near future.Her family has told her to leave me as I obviously have no intention of getting married,that was 2 years ago.

If you aren't enjoying your life, the only thing you can do is change it. You are in control of your life. Why are you two staying home all the time? Why aren't you going out, hanging with friends, etc.? Just because you're a couple doesn't mean you can't DO things. Have you allowed this relationship to get boring? You can't do that or it will never work.

She is the best GF a man could ask for,she has a great body,good job and salary,she's a great cook and loves cooking etc,but something is just not right.

If something's not right, something's not right and there's nothing you can do about that. You need to take a serious look at the situation and decide whether you want her or not. If not, you need to end things so she can move on with her life and find someone who DOES want to marry her. (And if she's as great as you say she is, that shouldn't be a problem for her.)

I have a 4 day golf trip next month in UK,the GF said she'll leave me if i go, should I go?

You should do what you want to do. Why doesn't she want you to go?

[Tony T]

Sex is a very important component of a relationship. So is sexual loyalty. Both are sadly lacking in this relationship. When you feel something is just not right...it usually never rights itself. Listen to that voice within you and act upon it.

 

Have a talk with her and let her down very easily. Do not EVER tell her you have cheated. Why hurt her more than you will anyway. She may even have a fairly good idea about your escapades.

 

Make the break and loving one. Give her whatever time she needs to make other living arrangements. Keep everything as friendly as possible. If she's got class, she won't go bananas on you. Of course, she's not going to be real happy either.

 

You need to take this action now. Putting it off only makes things worse. If you were 30 years older, sex probably wouldn't be quite as important to you as it is now. But you are young and you need a partner who excites you in bed. Now, I will say it's pretty hard to find someone who is number one in every department. There are always trade-offs.

 

Go on your golf trip to the UK. Stop by St. Andrews, it has the most beautiful golf course in the world...I've spent a lot of time there. Across the bridge is Dundee, a beautiful Scottish town. The ladies at the University there will set your heart on fire. I wish I could go with you.