tele Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 1) Have to think of other sexy guys to have orgasm when I'm having sex with my bf.Is there any problem with me? or is it my bf's problem? what should i do? 2) Does everyone really mind if their guy/girl doesn't satisfy their sex needs? Or is that most important thing that they guy loves you and cares for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 I think if you were really sexually turned on by your guy, you wouldn't have to think of other guys to have an orgasm. If you really like this dude, see a psychologist or sex therapist before you break it off. You're way to young not to enjoy good sex. This problem belongs to both of you...sex involves two people. However, if you discuss this with your guy, it's likely to crush his pride. I wouldn't tell him right off if I were you. Why injure him that way? It's very important that there's love and caring in the relationship but sex is really important too. If you do love your guy very much, there have got to be ways you can be stimulated to orgasm. Yes, get professional help if you want this relationship to work. A loving relationship where there is real caring is truly hard to find. If you are having to think of other guys, there is some kind of problem...it may even be YOU. Have you had to do this with other guys you've dated? On the other hand, sometimes when I'm having sex I think about if I don't pay my bill, they'll shut off my cable TV and then I go limp. I really hate it when that happens. I always try to have my bills paid before having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 The real question is do YOU love and care for him? Sounds like you're heart really isn't in this thing, sweetie. Could be part of the problem. Obviously, if you're able to reach orgasm (with whatever method) than its not a physical or medical problem. Rather it might be a mental or emotional block. Take time to breath and figure out what you're in this relationship for. And if you're boyfriend is clumbsy or unexperienced in bed, then its time you took control of the situation. Don't just lay there and be "polite". Talk to your lover about what you like and those things that work for you. I admit, it can be a little awkward at first, but once you start opening the lines of communication, sex can be awsome. 1) Have to think of other sexy guys to have orgasm when I'm having sex with my bf.Is there any problem with me? or is it my bf's problem? what should i do? 2) Does everyone really mind if their guy/girl doesn't satisfy their sex needs? Or is that most important thing that they guy loves you and cares for you? Link to post Share on other sites
melody Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 to me sexual satisfaction is important for both partners but we bring different levels of expectation and experience to what makes each of us feel satisfied. just because someone doesn't satisfy you sexually doesn't mean that they love you or you them any less. i agree we need to talk to each other about what we need. but is sex just about reaching orgasm or are there other dimensions to it. like needs for connection, attachment, affection, can we get so caught up in the act and whether or not we reach orgasm than to think about sex as an act of expressing our feelings not just sexual but emotional to another person. as a woman it is easy to feel objectified and used because sometimes men just like to get off on you and there is really no love or caring, is it enough just to go through the motions of having sex but for there to be lacking an emotional or affectionate attachment? are us woman just people who you men like to get off on and then turn over and go to sleep in the bed on? The real question is do YOU love and care for him? Sounds like you're heart really isn't in this thing, sweetie. Could be part of the problem. Obviously, if you're able to reach orgasm (with whatever method) than its not a physical or medical problem. Rather it might be a mental or emotional block. Take time to breath and figure out what you're in this relationship for. And if you're boyfriend is clumbsy or unexperienced in bed, then its time you took control of the situation. Don't just lay there and be "polite". Talk to your lover about what you like and those things that work for you. I admit, it can be a little awkward at first, but once you start opening the lines of communication, sex can be awsome. Link to post Share on other sites
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