butterfly123 Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now. We knew each other for about 11 years before we ever got together. He had a sketchy past that I knew about. He had one gf for three years in college and since then had gone from one woman to another (and overlap) without ever making a commitment to any of them. I felt like he and I had a strong emotional connection; after three months he said he was "committed" to me and how I was his first real gf in years. We talked all day long and night and spent all our time together. He moved into my building to a floor above me too which also allowed us to spend more time together. I thought things were going well until I foudn out he had kissed a girl at a bach party; it went down hill since then. We broke up for a few fews and then I gave him another chance;;;;but this time, I had my doubts on his loyalty. Throughout the summer he would flirted with a couple of girls on email and acted like he was interested in them; I was told this by friends but never had any proof and he always denied any wrongdoing and it always came down to their word against his. Finally, one day in September I got fed up when it was cofirmed he had been email flirting/asking out this one girl and I broke up with him. It was like, he was the greatest person when he was with me; but as soon as he left the door; i had no idea who he was. He only felt good about himself if he got attention from women, despite his supposed strong feeligns for me. Around the same time he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder; he was severely depressed and it seemed like he had no one but his family and me to help him through. Even though we were broken up, i stilll committed a lot of time to helping through this. He started the meds; the therapy and he seemed to be getting better. I thought his need for attention and self confidence problem was better bc he seemed so focus and so sorry for what he had done to me. About 5 weeks later, I got back together with him and this time things were even better than before. I spent Thanksgiving with his family; he met mine; we never fought; However, on Monday I discovered he has been emailing and texting some girl he met on Friendster. I broke up with him immediately but I am just devastated. He said he never met her and just liked the attention he was receivng from her but that he would never "cheat" on me (I don't buy it). I checked out the girl online and she was no prize (I mean that sincerely) This is so hard for me bc I have never been so happy as I was with him. I had no idea this was going on. He says that he loves me and that he is working on his attention needs in his therapy and doens't want to lose me but I think too much has happenned now for me to give him another chance. I am so heartbroken because I really thought this would work. I started writing this post thinking that there might be some hope for us but after writing this all down; I guess its hopeless. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 He's lying and don't believe him. The "fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me" rule seems to apply here. Dump him. He will never commit to you, totally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author butterfly123 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 Thank you for your poist. I know at this point, that I could never trust him again. I told him that I can't be in a relationship where I can't trust the person and he responded that at least I know when he is lying and he doens't get away with it! Last night I received a letter from his mother telling me how much his family appreciates the help I have given him and how much I mean to him. It made me tear up. Then, on my way out to dinner, he called me from London (he is away until Sunday) to say he was thinking about me. What I don't understand is why do people cheat on someone they claim to love? I really believed he did and he says that what he was doing had nothing to do with our relationship but his need for attention and for his own ego. How sick! How do cheater look at the person they love knowing they are lying to them? He received and sent text messages to this girl RIGHT in front of me and I had no idea. I wish I could just flash forward six months and have this pain be over. (I hope) Link to post Share on other sites
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