op9999 Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Hi all -- I've been in an LDR for nearly 2 years now with a woman in her 30s from Finland (I'm in Florida). We met while she was an exchange student here, and kept in touch during the first year. The following year, she spent 3 months here (which didn't go so well; she was very homesick after a while and it strained our relationship), and then I spent 3 months in Finland (which went much better, although we had our ups and downs, but nonetheless, went much better than her stay here). Yet we're still at it.... ...but the LDR has to end soon, either by one of us moving or by just ending it. I've been wanting her to move to America, but she has not been too eager to do so. She says she would consider it, but I don't see her expressing any interest; no questions about jobs here, or no initiative on her part to make Finnish connections in a small Finn community in Florida (Lake Worth). I am not about to marry someone just to test the waters, and I am hoping that she would do some research herself on finding a job through which she could get a visa. But that hasn't happened. She's not the stay-at-home type, and far from the trophy wife type, so that's a little comforting. But it really irritates me that she hasn't seriously looked at moving here. For those who wonder, yes, I have considered moving to Finland, but the harsh weather half of the year and the lack of opportunities for foreigners have all but ruled it out. I told her that, if we made it possible, we could spend summers there, and the rest of the year here. A lot of times, I worry that she will become unberable if she moved here -- that she will loathe me for "forcing" her to move here, and that she could not handle the different culture here. Part of the reason I stayed in Finland for 3 months was to prove a point: no matter where you go, there you are. I did not become an ass toward her because I was in a different environment -- something she did when she was in America. So, my question, has anyone dealt with an LDR in which they were/are involved with a homesick person, and how have you/are you dealing with it? Link to post Share on other sites
op9999 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 figured someone out there might have a few words for me Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I answered you here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=652724&postcount=1 (why it's a good idea to start only one thread) You say there'll be no 'normalcy' for anyone - so what? It'll be an adventure for you both. And nobody feels that they have 'given up' everything since both start on an even playing field. Link to post Share on other sites
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