"one Of These Days, They'll Get Back What They Dished Out"

[riobikini]

One of these days, they'll get back what they dished out".

 

That's one of the thoughts you think during or at some point after a breakup. Especially if it was a bad one.

 

You can't help but think that nasty thought during the anger stage.

 

In some of my experiences, I couldn't.

 

I was hurting so badly and going through so many emotions, flip-flopping from wanting to just hold him tight to choking the hell out of him.

 

And I wondered during brief moments about my sanity.

 

I didn't realize it was normal to feel that way.

 

There were times, that, the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

 

I'll let you in on a few of those thoughts:

 

I wanted to SCREAM at him, telling him off...telling him about how badly I thought he was treating me.....I wanted to remind him that he was throwing away a very good thing and that he would be sorry about losing it once he had re-entered the single scene again and was able to compare me to others......(at least, I HOPED he would find no one better than me...but I was secretly afraid and unsure about that)....I wanted him to anguish over the loss and feel every bit of the pain I was feeling, I wanted him to be LONELY and SAD and EMPTY without me.....I wanted to know he felt regret because of leaving me.......I wanted his life to fall apart and him to come running back to me begging for me to take him back....and even then if he did, I wanted him to suffer just a little longer until I did take him back.

 

And then , after thinking these horrible thoughts, I would feel ashamed.

 

I didn't know it was normal.

 

The next group of feelings were exactly the opposite: I wanted to run and bury myself into his arms and just sob, telling him how much I loved him and that I never wanted to be apart from him. I wanted just to feel his arms encircle me and have him pressing close to me in that familiar comforting way that gave me such a feeling of security and a sense that I 'belonged' there, in his arms. I desperately wanted assurance that he loved me DEMONSTRATED physically and words from HIS MOUTH that I could believe came straight from his heart...words that assured me he wasn't going away, that everything was going to be OK, and that he loved me.

 

I wanted things to be 'THE SAME' as before.

 

But I wanted the impossible.

 

After a breakup, things are never 'the same'; you only have two options- it ends (either eventually or long drawn out; either badly or with grace), or it survives the storm and you both begin working on healing the hurts, making the necessary changes, and repairing the damage.

 

It takes the strength, maturity, character and TRUE LOVE of two people (not just one) to repair a relationship.

 

During the anger stage of a breakup things can be said that make it more difficult to reach the threshold of reconciliation.

 

So do your screaming in your bedroom, throw the shoe at the wall, write the nasty letter and burn it but never send it.

 

Instead of waiting for 8 hours parked across the street from his work waiting for him to appear, buy a huge Teddy Bear, bury your face in it, hug the hell out of it, and cry all you want.

 

You are NOT crazy...you are just hurting.

 

Plenty of others have been there but there seems to be so few who can relate EXACTLY to what you are feeling.

 

But you need someone to listen to your sobs and your story and tell you you can get through this.

 

I'm telling you just that, now.

[Still_In_Love]

riobikini,

 

Nicely put!! I have and sometimes still feel those emotions and I am a strong believer in "what goes around, comes around!" I still love my ex-gf very much, but I know that she has moved on and left me in a pile of **** to dig myself out of....especially the emotional aspect of being dumped!

I have written down thoughts and then deleted them, but prior to initiating NC I did send her a letter and shared my anger and frustration with her. I don't necessarily regret sending it because I felt she needed to know what she had done to my life. I don't expect her to return.

I have been in many relationships over the years and I believe that real, true love only happens once in your life. I found that love with her and I am comforted to know that she will never be loved as much as I loved her. Yes it sounds arrogant, but I know in my heart that I would have gone to all the ends of the world for her...and inmany ways, I did and she knows it!

So, one of these days, she will get back what she dished out and the guy who loved her more than life itself won't be there to pick up the pieces!

[J dub]

>So do your screaming in your bedroom,

 

Yep!

 

>throw the shoe at the wall,

 

I found that a hairbrush against the bedroom door makes for a satisfying "THUMP"!

 

>write the nasty letter and burn it but never send it.

 

Right, DONT SEND THE THING!

 

>Instead of waiting for 8 hours parked across the street from his work waiting for him to appear

 

Omg too funny. Were you me in a past life or something?

 

>buy a huge Teddy Bear, bury your face in it, hug the hell out of it, and cry all you want.

 

Beat it up a few times too. That makes it fun

 

>You are NOT crazy...you are just hurting.

 

Exactly!

 

>Plenty of others have been there but there seems to be so few who can relate EXACTLY to what you are feeling.

 

Funny, cuz I feel like I'm experiencing deja vu in this thread lol

 

>But you need someone to listen to your sobs and your story and tell you you can get through this.

 

My brand new journal I bought, along with all the pretty colored pens made for one hell of a good time to vent.

 

>I'm telling you just that, now.

 

Very well said. I agree 100%