bonito Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Four years ago, I met a woman online who was from Colombia, and we were talking friendly for 1 1/2 years, we liked each other but I was always hesitant to make the jump for fear of getting hurt, for the difficulty ahead. We became closer and closer, and then about 2 1/2 years ago we were talking on the phone and I felt so strongly about her, in love with her, that I asked her to come here to Canada and be with me. From that time on, for about 2 years, things were amazing. I never felt lonely even, we would talk on the telephone, internet, and have webcameras working, send each other pictures...we were close. We were always waiting for the future, as if it was just around the corner. Then at some point, just ever so gradually, she got more distant. I didnt make a fuss out of it, I just thought some days she had her issues, and then it would be normal again. She had applied to move here permanently last January, and had just gotten approval in november, and it was exciting for both of us. I thought that soon she would be here, and everything would be excellent. The past couple weeks, she had been very distant. Then we had a good talk one day, and she told me she couldnt continue like this anymore, that she can't stress herself over the future anymore when she needs work and is living with her family and she doesnt enjoy her situation there because of those factors. I always understood these problems she was having, and had always been there for her as much as I could from a distance, and even told her not to apply, to just come here and then work on it while we were here together, but she wanted to do it the long way. I told her it didnt matter, that sooner or later we would be together, that if that was the way she wanted to go then I would be here regardless. But she couldnt take the waiting anymore, she said she gets tired every time she thinks of the future now, and that when she thinks about it taking potentially another full year before she is here, its just too much for her to bear. I told her I understood how she felt, but just not to give up on us, that I really love her and that I will keep loving her, I wont give up. I don't know what to do. All I know is I can't give up, we fit so well together and I love her so much. Basically, I don't need advice on whether or not I should continue, but I need advice on how to stir up her feelings again, to captivate her imagination and get her to feel again and not fear or stress out or worry. There have been times where my mind has told me this is crazy, but I always go with my heart, and I never regret that, because I feel that matters of the soul are more important than physical or practical matters, and I always thought she was the same, and I think she still has that in her. I believe she still loves me inside, but that she just has lost her way. Please, can anyone tell me how I can help her to find her way back to me? Link to post Share on other sites
Dariush Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I have had similiar experiences and I do believe in long distance relationships becoming close distance ones. She seems to not have decreases love for you, but she seems to love you so much that the thought of waiting any longer to see you is too much. I think that the aspect of her leaving her family behind is a big one too. I also think that if you can find a way for her to come here that its very possible for it to work, or maybe you could somehow go there for awhile? It depends on how strong your love is for her and how willing she is. Link to post Share on other sites
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