John Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 I met a girl,i fell in love with her and decided to break up with gf.Out of my expectation,I feel really not ready and tired and don't want to start a relationship right way.I don't mean I don't like but I'm simply not ready.i know i'm consfusing her.I don't want to loose her but I know I can't tell her " oh,please wait until i'm ready".I know this is not fair to her at all. Link to post Share on other sites
CoNcerned Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 Dude if you like the girl go for her...life is too short for the kind of BS you are talking about. It is very simple, go for the girl. If you hesitate, you will lose I met a girl,i fell in love with her and decided to break up with gf.Out of my expectation,I feel really not ready and tired and don't want to start a relationship right way.I don't mean I don't like but I'm simply not ready.i know i'm consfusing her.I don't want to loose her but I know I can't tell her " oh,please wait until i'm ready".I know this is not fair to her at all. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 I met a girl,i fell in love with her and decided to break up with gf.Out of my expectation,I feel really not ready and tired and don't want to start a relationship right way.I don't mean I don't like but I'm simply not ready.i know i'm consfusing her.I don't want to loose her but I know I can't tell her " oh,please wait until i'm ready".I know this is not fair to her at all. Sounds to me like you really can't make up your mind exactly what you want at this point. I think its probably a good idea to take a little time to be alone for awhile until you sort things out. And why get involved in a serious relationship at all? Just date and have a good time without any expectations. BUT...be sure you let the lady or ladies you're with know where you stand! Honesty is important...and be careful about how you toss that "love" word around. And the gal you're with?...Well, there's a good chance she might not stick around. Then again, who knows. But at least have enough respect for her as a human being to allow her the opportunity to move on. Love isn't about being selfish... Link to post Share on other sites
little d Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 You will lose her if you are not honest with her about how you are feeling and instead she gets the impression you don't like her. Tell her how you feel. Be honest with her and yourself. Your not asking her to wait for you, she'll decide that. If she cares for you the way you care for her she wouldn't want to rush you into anything your not ready for either. If you don't know for sure you even want to end up being with her let her know ASAP, spare her some feelings. Good Luck d I met a girl,i fell in love with her and decided to break up with gf.Out of my expectation,I feel really not ready and tired and don't want to start a relationship right way.I don't mean I don't like but I'm simply not ready.i know i'm consfusing her.I don't want to loose her but I know I can't tell her " oh,please wait until i'm ready".I know this is not fair to her at all. Link to post Share on other sites
melody Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 i wonder why you are not ready, and why you decided to break up with your g/f. it seems like if you broke up with your girlfriend you are dealing with not being in that relationship anymore and maybe until you get over completely the other relationship you cannot really enter into another one.maybe you could say to the girl that you fell in love with that you don't want to start a relationship right away but that you like her and want to take things slow but don't want to loose here. i think it would be best to tell her where you are at then to loose her by not letting here know where you are at which would be unfair to her You will lose her if you are not honest with her about how you are feeling and instead she gets the impression you don't like her. Tell her how you feel. Be honest with her and yourself. Your not asking her to wait for you, she'll decide that. If she cares for you the way you care for her she wouldn't want to rush you into anything your not ready for either. If you don't know for sure you even want to end up being with her let her know ASAP, spare her some feelings. Good Luck d Link to post Share on other sites
Lauren Posted July 27, 2001 Share Posted July 27, 2001 What you are experiencing is very normal. Everytime you enter a new relationship (work, friend, neighbor, or gf) there is a little anxiety about the future and possibly not feeling completely ready. If you truly love this girl, trust in that. I tell people - if you keep waiting until everything in your life is PERFECT; you will keep waiting. ie - I'll wait until I've graduated to buy a house or get married; and you find a great buy on a house or meet the person you feel is a soulmate while still in college. Whaddya do - wait until it fits into your "plan" of PERFECT timing?! Let something slip away that makes so much sense and makes you so happy and will give you security because you have these blinders on that it must "fit" some script you wrote! I don't think anyone is totally ready for a relationship or the changes a relationship will bring - living with someone, being married, having children. No matter how much they feel they are prepared - there is always something (small or major) that was not expected. My current relationship is an example of what I am saying. I never dreamed of buying my first house alone - thought that I'd be doing that with my husband. Oh well; decided I wanted the financial and independent security of a house. So darn glad I did it - what an investment! I never dreamed of having my dog - knew I wanted a dog - didn't plan on having a youngster (when I got him). Got a dog significantly younger than I "planned" on - he's by far one of the best things that has happened to me. My bf - never imagined myself with someone younger than I am. It is not a large age difference, nonetheless, it is there. Never imagined that I would be with someone previously married and with a child. I mean never. Which is odd because I gave up on the "never married; no kids" about 10 years ago. Again, I wrote the script - marry someone close to my age (single/divorced) and make family together. Sounds good, right?!! Now,....now.........I cannot imagine anything else. I don't want anything else. I never dreamed of falling in love with someone that had a child. Now I love two men - my bf and his son!Is that a blessing or what?! Am I scared and think "what am I thinking" - yes! Do I wonder what it will be like to become an instant mom (step-mom albeit)- yes! Fear of an instant family - yes! Nothing, however, is stronger than what I feel about my bf. Whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, comes along the way is all part of it. It is all part of a bigger plan. It is what was given to me when this man walked into my life. How can I say no or not what ANY part of it?!! It would be saying nor or not wanting him or his son!! That is a ludicrous thought for me! There is nothing wrong with fear or doubts or hesitation - don't let any of those stop you. Look at them, examine them if you need to, dig into what they truly mean when necessary - by no means let it STOP you. Recognize the feelings and use them to your benefit! How's that?!!! Use fear as a strength!!! HAH! You'll show that fear something! Once you recognize feelings and pull them along as an allies - watch and see what happens! You'll be amazed! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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