How Could He? Please Help

[SickToTheStomach]

Hi, just found out something about my EX which really made me sick to the stomach. A little recap - we broke up less than 2 months ago due to a lot of problems (us going thru a bad time in our lives, arguing a lot, the possibility of him cheating with a MARRIED woman which he has constantly denied). Prior to our break-up, we were a very happy couple and had talks of moving in together and growing old. Obviously, that is not going to happen now.

 

Yesterday I found out that he has an ACTIVE membership with AdultFriendFinder which he has been using even when we were going out together (yes, even during the happy days!). He also has an active e-mail account where he sends and receives e-mails from other AFF members, sharing pictures with each other (unfortunately, I looked into his e-mail account. Yes, I know snooping is wrong). Now, I wished I never knew.

 

I am so disgusted by his behaviour and am very disappointed in him even as a friend - he has always made fun of people who put up online personal ads and said he would never think of having casual sex with strangers. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry - you'd think you know someone well enough. But here I find a completely different person who is actively looking for sex partners or at least chasing the thrill of it.

 

I don't know what to do with this piece of information. Is it common for men to cruise such web sites for fun? What is going through his mind? Our sex life was great so why did he have to surf such sites? Did he really go out there looking for sex? Because if he did, I need to get myself checked out for diseases!

 

We are still very close (but don't worry, no sex, thank god for that!) and I feel like he is "misguided" because of the stress and sadness that is happening in his life currently. I also want to smack him on his head and teach him all about safe sex as well as the danger he is bringing to himself (and he's 36!, shouldn't he know better?!)

 

I am so angry with him because this was going on while we were still going out (who knows if he had sex with any of these people and whether he passed anything to me!). I am sad because I thought I knew my EX well enough and am so heart broken to know that he is a heartless A**. I do want to confront him so that he knows what a shameful jerk he is but I don't know how to do it. Morbid as it sounds, I don't think this is something he should get away with, especially not when he was doing it while telling me that how lucky he is to find me and how he will always love me. Should I say anything? Please help!

[Kenyth]

You already broke up. It's over and done before it started. Leave it alone and go your seperate way. Forget about him. What he did or does now is inconsequential to you.

 

I'll tell you one thing. You're broke up, so quit hanging around him! New prospects tend to be disenchanted with the, "My ex is now a good freind of mine!" story.