melody Posted July 25, 2001 Share Posted July 25, 2001 can anyone out there give feedback on the topic listed. i have noticed within the last few months that the men that i have dated were very strongly attracted and then after getting closer they became very distancing. does anyone else experience the same type of behavior. or is it just me?also after dating for a few times, i have noticed that some men will bring up the fact that they are in love with someone else or begin to pick apart why you are not the women for them, for example they want a women from their own culture or you are too strong a woman for them or you are not the right religion etc..etc...if men are already in a relationship why are they seeking someone else only to then reject the new woman because of simplistic reasons. anyone gone through anything similar? Link to post Share on other sites
Lauren Posted July 26, 2001 Share Posted July 26, 2001 Why men distance? Guess it depends upon the man. According to your post; you mention that men you have dated start rattling off reasons you are not the "right" woman. Was there any type of talk of the contrary before this revalation of "incapatability"? Did you talk about what each one of you wanted out of the future and what you wanted from a relationship? Some men don't want a relationship - they want to date. Which means getting numbers, calling girls, going out - if they go out again, okay; if they don't go out again - okay. They're quite happy with their friends, activities and casual dating life. Perhaps the men you have dated in the past recognized you wanted more than casual dating - which it sounds to me you do - and backed off in any fashion possible. The "I don't want to hurt you" objective!! As far as I'm concerned, someone that cannot be honest regarding the type of relationship they want is disturbed!!! If you are seeing someone that is special to you and would like to continue long-term; maybe you should address the issue. Express again your goals and direction in your relationship as well as your life. If he doesn't fit in - he doesn't fit in - no matter the "excuse/reason" he gives. Good luck! can anyone out there give feedback on the topic listed. i have noticed within the last few months that the men that i have dated were very strongly attracted and then after getting closer they became very distancing. does anyone else experience the same type of behavior. or is it just me?also after dating for a few times, i have noticed that some men will bring up the fact that they are in love with someone else or begin to pick apart why you are not the women for them, for example they want a women from their own culture or you are too strong a woman for them or you are not the right religion etc..etc...if men are already in a relationship why are they seeking someone else only to then reject the new woman because of simplistic reasons. anyone gone through anything similar? Link to post Share on other sites
melody Posted August 1, 2001 Share Posted August 1, 2001 thanks lauren, it seems like it really does depend on the man. there was some talk that was contrary prior to this decision. i think the problem is there are large age differences between myself and the men i have dated so we are in different places. i realize that some men just want to date and do not want a relationship and that is okay if that is what you both want. for instance i was just told by an egyptian man who i knew that i was not a friend or relation. when i asked him to explain what he meant he said someone who listens. i think there is a language barrier here and i also think that he said that there are some people who you just do not like. he has a seething anger towards me that wasn't there in the beginning in addition i have a suspicion that he is gay. that's just my take and he can't figure out who he is gay or bisexual. this guy was 29 i am 12 years older. another guy 10 years my junior i have known for the past 6 years. he claims that he intends to return to his country and be with someone from there. so i find that often i am the in the meantime woman who might be special for the moment but not for any serious relationship and i just seem to keep attracting the same type. now i am being approached by another egyptian man, 26 years old, moslem who has many demands, i.e. have to be moslem, i am not, have to be covered, i do not wear their attire, have to check on him, if not he thinks i do not care, i am feeling very controlled yet he is interested in a more long term relationship and it is i who feel this is not a compatible match. but i do agree that once you find that special person you have to let them know what you want out of the relationship. i think the problem is i need to date men my own age or older maybe that would solve the problem. maybe or maybe not. that up for debate Link to post Share on other sites
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