Reading into what he said?

[Betabird]

Is there hope, I’m working on moving on but this confused me a little  

Or I’m just reading into what he said. 

 I broke up  with my partner after a cancer diagnosis. I broke it off the end of January.  

I reached out to him and we talked a little.  I just couldn’t get the words out to tell him I was sorry and what I have done (counseling)  since we have been apart.  I felt emotional and didn’t want this to end up being emotional and feeling crazy. I let him know I was going to send him a letter. I know, talking would be better but I didn’t want to cry in front of him that would not help either of us. 

This is what he said back, Your letter was a hard read. It forced me to go through all my feelings with you again. When I got to the end of your letter, where you asked for a chance, my heart walled up. I'm not ready. 

While I remember few months as amazing, the last three were far from it. That is what is still in my head. I understood why you pushed me away for my sake, but I very much disagreed. No matter what I did or said, it fell on deaf ears. By January, nothing I did or said could console you. 

I started seeing someone recently, but I know I would have the same feelings if I weren't. I put myself out there for you, and it wasn't returned because you have it set in your mind of something that might happen down the road and never saw the positive right in front of you.

Then he ends it with I can’t be there for you. 

I’m hanging on to when he says he is “not ready”.  Does that mean he might be ready another time? Not that I will stop my life and wait but is there still that thought? Is there hope or the last line when he says I can’t be there is that final? I wish he didn’t add the I’m not ready, I understand what he means. Any insight? 

The last 3 months were when I was just diagnosed with cancer. 

I’m probably reaching he clearly says, I can’t be there for you. Why did he have to say, I’m not ready? 

 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening. How long were you dating? Please take care of yourself and your physical and mental health and please enlist in some support groups and the support of friends and family.

You pushed him away rather hard so unfortunately you got what you wanted and he had no choice. I hope this pushing away was not a test that you were hoping would come out differently.

[Betabird]

If we dated a year it moved kind of fast the last 6 months we were never apart. 
 

I didn’t want to put him through my health issues. He wanted to stay. I went to a therapist after the breakup and got a lot of clarity that he could have made the choice to stay. I messed it up and I get that. 

[Weezy1973]

It sounds like he’s done. He’s already seeing someone else. “Not ready” in this context I don’t think meant not ready to try a relationship with you again. I think it meant he’s not ready to examine the relationship with you in a positive light as all he can think about is the last 3 months when things were bad. But even when he can gain perspective and see there were good parts of the relationship, he still won’t be interested in starting again with you. 

[flitzanu]

i'm sorry, but i'd say it's a soft way of saying "no, i don't want to be with you" - if he wanted to be with you he would have said yes.  this was a long winded way of saying no.