Got Back Together With Ex Boyfriend........

[EarlsGirl]

Ok, i hope i can make this short and to the point. Well first of all my bf and i broke up, well we got back together like 3 weeks ago. oh yeah did i tell you that we were only broke up for one month. We broke up b/c he said , i cant concentrate on the relationship right now, we shouldnt be together right now, we just need to be friends for right now.Ok so i agreed and we broke up. So he calls me about a mth after we broek up and says he wants to get back together, HERE'S THE DILEMMA: he doesnt call me hardly at all, i dont understand the deal, He wanted to get back together because he said he really cared for me and he wanted us to be together and he was sorry for everything before. I dont know what to think. i am kinda thinking there is someone else , but is it really fair for me to think that just because my phone isnt ringing off the hoook from him? what am i doing wrong??? Please offer advice. Maybe i am selfish for expecting to talk to him all the time, but i feel that if i am his g/f he should be doing the calling too. sincerely confusedEarlsGirl

[marzipan75]

Hi,

 

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I think maybe he is the one who is doing all the "wrong" here. First of all, I think that if it was serious enough that you guys broke up then maybe you need to do some thinking on your own and decide if you want to get back on the same roller coaster situation you were in with him before. He broke up with you once and now it's only been a month, are you sure you really want to get back into the same bed with his "confusion" again? You sound pretty confused by his actions and under the circumstances you mentioned in your post I think you should be. If I were you I would have a lot of questions as well. Don't ask about there being someone else because doing that will only torture you. Don't let it get to you. You need to see him in person (if at all possible) and sit down and talk with him about the expectations of this new relationship, if you are serious about having it again. It seems as if he is busy than you are, etc but that is still no excuse. You need to ask yourself if you want to put yourself back in that same situation again.

 

Think about this:

 

When you were together before and he didn't call enough and was very busy were you really happy?

 

Can you be happy with him not calling you?

 

It seems as if maybe you've changed a little but he hasn't and that's not fair to you. If you think about it and you can honestly say to yourself that you will be okay with him not calling you and worrying all the time that he will find someone else (like you are now)then okay. But, it doesn't sound like this is something you should rush back into.

 

Believe me, I recently broke up and for whatever the reasons I spent a lot of time sitting and waiting for him and finally one night he didn't call or show up. I got tired of having to be the one to keep up with him. My advice is spend a little more time apart from him. Get to know yourself a little better and spend more time with friends, whatever you have been doing since you broke up. Go back to that, have a life of your own because it sounds as if you are re-entering a cycle of sitting around waiting for him to call and you don't need that do you?

 

I understand that you must love him a great deal, believe me, I sooo understand that but you have enough self respect to not make the same mistake again. Obviously you were able to handle the break up and just being friends but he wasn't. He may be scared or confused that he may have acted to hastily when he talked to you and wanted to come back. Sometimes that happens and ofcourse you can't be sure that is what is going on with him, it can be a number of different things. Yes, someone else is always a possibility but you also need to remember that that works both ways. He too will be wondering if you have someone else. You sound like a strong enough person so I'll tell you that if you were able to do it once, you can do it again.

 

You need to think about what you want and whether or not you can get that out of this relationship with him. If not then give yourself time, all he can do is remain your friend and respect that because you did it for him when he asked you to.

 

I hope that helps and I wish you all the luck in the world, I really do hope things work out for you.

 

Ok, i hope i can make this short and to the point. Well first of all my bf and i broke up, well we got back together like 3 weeks ago. oh yeah did i tell you that we were only broke up for one month. We broke up b/c he said , i cant concentrate on the relationship right now, we shouldnt be together right now, we just need to be friends for right now.Ok so i agreed and we broke up. So he calls me about a mth after we broek up and says he wants to get back together, HERE'S THE DILEMMA: he doesnt call me hardly at all, i dont understand the deal, He wanted to get back together because he said he really cared for me and he wanted us to be together and he was sorry for everything before. I dont know what to think. i am kinda thinking there is someone else , but is it really fair for me to think that just because my phone isnt ringing off the hoook from him? what am i doing wrong??? Please offer advice. Maybe i am selfish for expecting to talk to him all the time, but i feel that if i am his g/f he should be doing the calling too. sincerely confusedEarlsGirl

[turtle]

Ok, i hope i can make this short and to the point. Well first of all my bf and i broke up, well we got back together like 3 weeks ago. oh yeah did i tell you that we were only broke up for one month. We broke up b/c he said , i cant concentrate on the relationship right now, we shouldnt be together right now, we just need to be friends for right now.Ok so i agreed and we broke up. So he calls me about a mth after we broek up and says he wants to get back together, HERE'S THE DILEMMA: he doesnt call me hardly at all, i dont understand the deal, He wanted to get back together because he said he really cared for me and he wanted us to be together and he was sorry for everything before. I dont know what to think. i am kinda thinking there is someone else , but is it really fair for me to think that just because my phone isnt ringing off the hoook from him? what am i doing wrong??? Please offer advice. Maybe i am selfish for expecting to talk to him all the time, but i feel that if i am his g/f he should be doing the calling too. sincerely confusedEarlsGirl

I hate to sound discouraging, but you sound young. For seven years I had a relationship with my high school sweetheart. It was on again off again. He would withdraw, I would wait, I would withdraw, he would beg me to reconsider. He told me about all the problems he was having and how it was the circumstances in his life that made him the way he was. I married him and was pregnant when I found out he was cheating on me. He left me for the other woman. I have since found out that he cheated quite frequently during his "withdrawn" spells. The writing was on the wall and I was too love blind to see it. There are lots of unhappy relationships you may find yourself in, but it is really true, you have to want to stay. If you aren't happy, get out there and find out what will make you happy (be it another guy or not). Best of luck.