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I don't know why I feel this pain


Dookie_Dont

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I can't deny this anymore. I'm alone. And it shows, nothing I do can make me cover this sorrow. I have put distance between myself and everyone I called a friend. I didn't want to be lied too, I didn't want to be caught in anymore drama of the small town life. So I created my own little home in this isolation. I ignore them all, I want no part of their lies.

 

And now its came back on me, I am truly alone. I sit here alone and think about how I have made a wrong decision. And while I'm on the internet I find a picture that reminds me of a girl I turned away many years ago for some slut who would lie to me. I wish I still kept her, I miss her.

 

This was years ago, and I sit here and I think about this. This is unhealthy, the fact I cut off old friends is unhealthy I'm sure. But it had to be done, they were all just screwing themselves over and I was tired of being caught in the midst.

 

Can anybody please relate to me, did anybody else have to make that big sacrifice?

 

Now I just wish I had made the right decisions, I'm just full of regret. And I wonder what could of happened if I had kept her. I really just want to move far from here, and find somebody. And when I look at this photo, it makes me wish it was her.

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So nobody else made a big decision that they regretted? Even if its like distancing yourself from those who can keep on hurting you?

 

Nobody?....

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Now I just wish I had made the right decisions, I'm just full of regret.

 

Yes my friend, there's a hell of a lot of people on this board who feel 100% the way you do, in particular myself.

 

But however hard it seems, the only way forward for us, is to keep looking, there just is no other answer. If we never try, we will never find. :(

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Man when I say I cut off my social life, I literally did. I used to be just so much into hanging out with people and now its like I'm just all alone all the time. Its like work is my only place I can be around people and spend my time. And thats work, I've just became really anti-social and it sucks.

 

Should I look for new friends, or just go back to old ones who cause problems.

 

I'm swaying more to the new friends.

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