my gf doesn't like sex

[Boy friend]

My gf told me she had no feeling when we made love.She said that this was not my problem.I have tried foreplay and be very gentle but seems like is of no use.She has no feelings even when she has sex with her ex.She said is her problem and may need to see doctor.Anyadvice on how to cure her?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Any advice on how to cure her?"

 

Since she has already acknowleged a possible need to see a doctor, it might be nice if she would get an appointment with one ASAP and you could drive her their.

 

Also, your post implies she is still having sex with her ex. So how do you know she has no feeling with him? And why is she doing this...unless this was a typo?

[Boyfriend]

Maybe my messages are not that clear.Let me clarify.My gf does not have sex with her ex now? What i mean is when her ex has given her bad sex experience when they were together.Of course they never see each other again after the break up.And my gf does not acknowledge that fact that there is something wrong with her.She thinks that this is ok and it would be a shame to see a doctor because of sex problem.She gets so mad and cried because she thinks that I look down on her and treat her as a abnormal freak.In the fact this is not true.I love her very much but I just want to help her or solve the problem proactively.I am a normal grown up man and I have sexual needs.So i don't want to break up because of sex problem

 

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YOU ASK: "Any advice on how to cure her?" Since she has already acknowleged a possible need to see a doctor, it might be nice if she would get an appointment with one ASAP and you could drive her their. Also, your post implies she is still having sex with her ex. So how do you know she has no feeling with him? And why is she doing this...unless this was a typo?

[Tony T]

I can't imagine your girlfriend going forward in life perfectly satisfied with getting no pleasure out of sex. I certainly hope she goes to the doctor once a year for a female examination. That same doctor should be able to help her with this problem. She is grown up now and should understand that this is serious and there's nothing to be ashamed of, especially talking to a doctor.

 

I can certainly understand your concern. However, if in fact she does not want to talk to a doctor you can't force her.

 

Over time, surely you can convince her to see a doctor...perhaps along with you. This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

 

If a medical doctor finds no physiological or neurological problems with her, he may very well refer her to a psychologist if emotional/psychological reasons are suspected of being the root cause of her situation.

 

I don't see how you can do anymore than be supportive. Don't be nagging her constantly about seeing a doctor. Go at it slowly and supportively.

 

Surely, she has to want to enjoy sex more than she does. I mean, if she's going to spend the time at it she may as well have some fun along with you. And perhaps you ought to explain to her that you would enjoy lovemaking a LOT MORE if you knew she was getting some pleasure out of it herself.