Dude101 Posted July 26, 2001 Share Posted July 26, 2001 We have just celebrated our third Wedding anniversary. The last few years have been better than great. Although, now my wife says that she has been bottling a load of feelings. This bottling has caused her to just Love me. Not to Be "IN" Love with me. Call me an stupid male if you will. I just can't see the difference in Loving someone and being "In" Love with someone. Didn't we make a vowel to always be "In" Love with each other? Please help me to understand this. Thank You Link to post Share on other sites
marzipan75 Posted July 26, 2001 Share Posted July 26, 2001 I'm sorry you're hurting. Recently I went through this sort of thing with my ex. He loved me but was not "in love " with me. For many people that means a lot of different things. It's hard to know exactly what she means to say by this. Sometimes it can mean that the person lacks the excitement or challenge that love can bring with it at the beginning of a relationship. Remember that point when you started a relationship and you were still feeling eachother out and sometimes you were scared and excited and everything all mixed in at once? You didn't exactly know what was going to happen next, if that person was right for you or would stay with you or not? Well, I think that may be part of it anyway. Sometimes when people say this they can do it and not necessarily mean it. Sometimes they say it because they mean that they love you but it's more like a sisterly or brotherly love instead of an infatuation type of love that they have built in their minds to be the "right" kind of love. I don't know if that helps you any but it may give you some ideas of where to start. Try talking to your wife some more before jumping to any serious conclusions. Also, counseling can be of help if it happens to be a matter of "excitement" or challenge within your marriage. Only time will tell. The important thing is that she is being honest with you about her feelings and it shows a lot of courage to come out and do that. She must honestly care about you and your marriage enough to show you the respect you deserve by being truthful. At least you can know that. Sometimes age is also a factor in a person's uncertainty about things. You guys sound fairly young, I suspect there are no children involved yet and so maybe this is some kind of age transition thing. I don't know but as a woman myself, at least I can give you some insight as to where she may be coming from. I hope that helps some. Good luck with everything, I sincerely hope that you guys will get past this and work things out. We have just celebrated our third Wedding anniversary. The last few years have been better than great. Although, now my wife says that she has been bottling a load of feelings. This bottling has caused her to just Love me. Not to Be "IN" Love with me. Call me an stupid male if you will. I just can't see the difference in Loving someone and being "In" Love with someone. Didn't we make a vowel to always be "In" Love with each other? Please help me to understand this. Thank You Link to post Share on other sites
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