Can one fall out of love temporarily?

[Hopeless Romantic Guy]

Hey guys and girls,

 

I think the subject pretty much says it all, but basically my girlfriend and I had our first fight. It was over the internet. The subject is insignificant. I'm usually the mushy, over-emotional-type guy...when I'm depressed or having a difficult situation with my girlfriend, I'll easily find myself crying just from listening to some songs while looking at pictures of her. Tonight, I tried this, and felt nothing.

 

Is it possible that I'm just numb from the fight? I'm thinking that as a result of the fight I've begun to take a more objective look at the way I've been acting: sometimes it seem as if I'll have a complaint about the relationship (like what happened yesterday), and before I can open up the floor to discuss it, something she does threatens the relationship and I forget all about my own complaint and go into a 'fix-it' mode in which I try to do everything I can to change her mind and I put my own doubts to the back of my head, like I'm trying to just keep the relationship going, when I'm not even sure why I bother.

 

We get along well for the most part...but she, well, honestly, when the circumstances surrounding her life (family, school, whatever) get to be too much for her, she just basically turns her emotions off and goes all cold and pushes me away...when she does this, she can be a real bitch.

 

But then again, this could all just be from anger that I've pent up over the last few weeks, finally getting a chance to express itself while I'm by myself, and this could all just be temporary.

 

Can a person like me, who normally feels the MOST emotions in dire circumstances like these, temporarily stop loving his girlfriend and have the love come back later after the situation has been put behind him?

[Tony T]

Have you ever met this girl in person? Do you know her well in person? Do you talk to her often in person? Do you take her out on dates in person?

 

If the answer to these questions is NO, you're wasting a lot of time and emotion. Why would you get worked up over somebody you only know over the Internet?

 

If you do see her in person, keep your differences and arguments to in person encounters. You can not effectively manage relationship conflicts over the Internet.

 

Whether this particular relationship is over the Internet or in person, I don't think it's a keeper. She's way too moody. If this is an Internet-only relationship, that's probably why she can't find a guy in person.

 

If this is an in-person relationship, let her know straight that you aren't going to tolerate these cold spells anymore. Work out the reason for them and get this back on track.

 

If this is an Internet relationship, seek counselling to find out why you may be afraid of having an in-person relationship. Some of the things you have written indicates a fear on your part of intimate, in person relationships. Getting numb from a little fight over the Internet is a hum dinger. You have one hell of an imagination. You are living in a fantasy world and you better get back to reality fast!!!

 

If you continue this against all good sense, when you start to have an argument, go to the phone and continue the dispute over the phone. That's at least a step up from a computer screen.

 

I think that's about as crazy as people having cyber sex. Whoa, what a joke. I wonder how many cyber babies there are out there. Of course, for me, I have installed Norton Birth Control for my cyber honeys. Also, when I have cyber sex, I use a cyber condom...I wrap cloth or food wrap all over my hard drive...and clear wrap over my screen just to be safe.

 

Don't waste your time with anyone on the Internet unless you can meet them in person within 30 days of meeting them online and are able to continue to see them in-person. The only thing an online relationship can do for you is give you carpal tunnel syndrome from typing so much.

[melody]

i think we have a whole range of feelings and emotions including anger, affection, love, and sometimes we have to be in touch with our own feelings in order to respond to others. if you feel angry maybe talking with your girlfriend about what made you angry might help. sometimes loving and angry feelings are closely aligned. i think fear also has to do with anger and love. i think the answer to your question is we can manifest a range of feelings sometimes we are happy, sad, angry, loving but can't let our emotions determine if we love any less. everyone defines love different, so maybe if we look at if we are acting loving or not would be a better way to ask the question, for most of us it is hard to be loving when we are angry.it sounds like you really want to attach to your girlfriend and when she distances that is not easy for you maybe letting here know how it feels when she distances and discussing what it is like for her when you are angry might be a place to start. martians and venetians have different ways of relating, so when you want to fix things maybe she just needs you to listen or be there. when she is busy maybe she just needs you to support her busyness and offer emotional support for how difficult it must be to have so many demands. hope this helps.

Hey guys and girls, I think the subject pretty much says it all, but basically my girlfriend and I had our first fight. It was over the internet. The subject is insignificant. I'm usually the mushy, over-emotional-type guy...when I'm depressed or having a difficult situation with my girlfriend, I'll easily find myself crying just from listening to some songs while looking at pictures of her. Tonight, I tried this, and felt nothing. Is it possible that I'm just numb from the fight? I'm thinking that as a result of the fight I've begun to take a more objective look at the way I've been acting: sometimes it seem as if I'll have a complaint about the relationship (like what happened yesterday), and before I can open up the floor to discuss it, something she does threatens the relationship and I forget all about my own complaint and go into a 'fix-it' mode in which I try to do everything I can to change her mind and I put my own doubts to the back of my head, like I'm trying to just keep the relationship going, when I'm not even sure why I bother. We get along well for the most part...but she, well, honestly, when the circumstances surrounding her life (family, school, whatever) get to be too much for her, she just basically turns her emotions off and goes all cold and pushes me away...when she does this, she can be a real bitch. But then again, this could all just be from anger that I've pent up over the last few weeks, finally getting a chance to express itself while I'm by myself, and this could all just be temporary.

 

Can a person like me, who normally feels the MOST emotions in dire circumstances like these, temporarily stop loving his girlfriend and have the love come back later after the situation has been put behind him?