How to experience touch?

[lilmoma1973]

 

I wouldn't suggest it till you get to know this person !! You can't do that in a work enviornment and not expect to get a lawsuit on you if the person isn't wanting you to touch them it is called sexual harrassment!! Get to know this person first let her know you like them and go on dates before you start touching!! Just MO!!

[Admiral Thrawn]

 

I wouldn't suggest it till you get to know this person !! You can't do that in a work enviornment and not expect to get a lawsuit on you if the person isn't wanting you to touch them it is called sexual harrassment!! Get to know this person first let her know you like them and go on dates before you start touching!! Just MO!!

 

Like, buy a Christmas card, and give it to her, if I see her on time, and spray some good cologne on it. She will probably get the message.

[Admiral Thrawn]

A book, called THE ART OF HUGGING, has been borrowed from the library, authored by "William Cane".

 

Here is some raw data from this book:

 

What makes a woman want to hug a man?

 

a) Man is sexy and romantic and will give them a good hug in return.

b) In addition to physical looks and build, women are inclined to hug men

who seem needy. (i.e. woman would rather hug Woody Allen than Arnold Schwarzenegger). An accountant in her mid-twenties said "If they seem like they need a hug, I will hug them".

 

How should men project a huggable image?

 

a) Keep in good shape physically. (Factor for 30% of women)

 

b) Avoid being too thin or delicate.

 

c) Be funny, make her laugh.

 

d) If you are taller, like over 5'8 or something, you should be getting hugs, or you are doing something wrong.

 

PLEUTONIC HUGS vs. ROMANTIC HUGS:

 

- A pleutonic hug, means hands remain in one place, and the hug is VERY brief (ends as soon as it starts). A romantic hug, means the hands wander on the back, and it is elongated.

 

- Pleutonic hug forms are usually appropriate when greeting, saying 'hi' or 'bye' to someone, or in some special moment when they need support.

 

Yesterday, for New Year's eve, I went to church, and there were this really hot girl I wanted to hug. But, I shook her hand instead, because I shook the hand of the person next to her, and didn't want to look to obvious to hug her. But, I hugged allot of people I weren't really attracted to, and that was cool. Sometimes you have to take baby steps before you take big ones.

[Yamaha]

I think you have issues. You have went the gamete from the fire and brimstone you were posting to now wanting to touch women in a sexual way.

 

Is you church going just a cover to lust after church going women? I think you need to pray to your lord for direction.

[Lonely nice guy]

Admiral Thrawn

 

I understand your need for touch, it's quite a basic human need. But talk comes before touch, you need to master this first. This thread is something I didn't expect to read here, and it does verge on creepy. I am wary of going in this direction, because it seems evident from your other posts that just interacting with women is something of a mystery for you. (Me too BTW) But you may touch someone in a manner you are not used to and seem clumsy, and this would be quite freaky for her. Again it comes back to body language. A clumsy hug is worse than positive non-contact body language. (I think, help me out here ladies)

 

You could get yourself a massage, either sexual or non-sexual. Someone suggested dance lessons, that seems reasonable. Public transportation is not appropriate, because any contact would be fleeting and too quick, and anything longer would result in a scream or kick to your unit. Touching a work colleague on the shoulder would seem fine, but if you've never hugged a colleague, then you start suddenly one day, this might freak her out, especially if she is an "available" and desirable mate. It would actually have the opposite effect. You've got to select your hug "victims" carefully.

 

My personal advice is "Don't go there"

 

BTW, why is the incel site down and how when can we expect it to be up and running again? I've only just joined, then it stops?

[Admiral Thrawn]

I think you have issues. You have went the gamete from the fire and brimstone you were posting to now wanting to touch women in a sexual way.

 

Is you church going just a cover to lust after church going women? I think you need to pray to your lord for direction.

 

Of course, all Christians should pray always pray to the Lord for direction.

 

In fact, I'm thankful to the Lord that I was able to hug people last night, albeit not the specific girls that I may have been 'attracted' to. That may come later. The Bible says, Christians are known for the love they have for one another as one big happy family. If you cant hug each other then how is that love supposed to be expressed if everyone treats everyone like they have got the plague? Or, does your idea image of a church is where nobody talks to each other, makes a quick handshake without seeing each other, or better yet, everyone walks with their arms crossed and looks down on each other? Is that your church? You can have it, because it is not one that I would go to.

 

You know where I stand in terms of my faith, in matters pertaining to salvation or damnation, if you have an issue with it, you can take it up in the religious thread.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Furthermore, I would also like to add - since I could not edit the last post:

 

People in general may feel that if they go to a church, it is going to be boring, or they are going to be judged or looked down on. Au contrare.

In my church, people can feel accepted no matter what they believe in or are feeling, without worrying about being judged. Everybody here deserves to be loved and experience love from God, and that is what church is all about. It's not about rules, laws, holier-than-thou, or people looking down on you because you may believe a different way. Jesus calls everyone.

 

So, people like Yamaha, may disagree with this position, but make no mistake about it, God loves you, and may sometimes express this love through people, sometimes even women. Sex is meant to express love by two married people.

The church is often metaphorically referred to as the Bride, and Jesus as the Bridegroom. Hugging people, well that is another form of expression, as long as you 'connect' with someone.

 

Love and 'connection' is expressed through touching. Now, aside from all this wrangling - let's discover new ways of socialised touching, or feel comfortable with social touch. Hoping people have some real contributions to this thread.

 

I stand firm on anything I have posted on the religious thread, and just because God is love, doesn't mean He is soft. People like you need to know the difference between 'love' and 'softy-pushover God' ok.

[Lucasarts]

hmmm thrawn in your case of wanting to experience touch, i would suggest that you try to pick up the cute church girls. They are the ones that would understand you best as you would both share the devotion and love of God. From this topic of conversation about God, can you go and delve further into what these pretty church-goer's interests are. As you stated that hugging is a way to express love of each other, then i'm sure a fellow female church-goer that is attractive wouldn't be bothered by being hugged by you.

 

its not that i approve of the going on's/ideas of these posts because personally i do find this VERRRY creepy/sketchy, its just that i am trying to provide a helpful solution to your problem

[Lonely nice guy]

Since I'm an atheist, does that mean no one loves me :-(

 

Admiral, my last post is now on page 2, do you know the answer to my question? And have any comments on my post?

[Lucasarts]

LNG i am an atheist as well, and no it does not mean that no one loves you

 

it just means that we have to create our own direction and guide ourselves along the path of life.

 

You just need to keep talking to women, keep understanding the workings of their mind. I've missed a plenty of opportunities with girls i could have hooked up with but didnt b/c i failed to understand the signs of attraction at the time. Each failure is also an educator of what you did wrong or what you should have done to make the situation better/go in your direction. Believe me that it takes a few failed attempts before finally nailing it on the head. you've been through a few relationships b4 right? thats a good sign and it means you're headin in the right direction when it comes to women. just reflect as to how you met these ex g/f's and why you broke up with them. figuring out where you went wrong is all part of the experience, as it helps to know not to do it next time.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Admiral Thrawn

 

I understand your need for touch, it's quite a basic human need. But talk comes before touch, you need to master this first. This thread is something I didn't expect to read here, and it does verge on creepy. I am wary of going in this direction, because it seems evident from your other posts that just interacting with women is something of a mystery for you. (Me too BTW) But you may touch someone in a manner you are not used to and seem clumsy, and this would be quite freaky for her. Again it comes back to body language. A clumsy hug is worse than positive non-contact body language. (I think, help me out here ladies)

 

You could get yourself a massage, either sexual or non-sexual. Someone suggested dance lessons, that seems reasonable. Public transportation is not appropriate, because any contact would be fleeting and too quick, and anything longer would result in a scream or kick to your unit. Touching a work colleague on the shoulder would seem fine, but if you've never hugged a colleague, then you start suddenly one day, this might freak her out, especially if she is an "available" and desirable mate. It would actually have the opposite effect. You've got to select your hug "victims" carefully.

 

My personal advice is "Don't go there"

 

BTW, why is the incel site down and how when can we expect it to be up and running again? I've only just joined, then it stops?

 

You are right. However, pleutonic hugs are appropriate in 'greeting' behaviours. That is, whether there is verbal, or no verbal intimacy, if you position yourself for a hug and just do it, as a form of greeting, and you are familiar with the person, and at least some people in that group are also hugging, then it should be pretty safe to hug yourself, if that is the group norm.

 

But, ultimately, if my interests in a girl are romantic, than a pleutonic hug is just going to be a false self-decpetive goal, which at the end, will not take it to a level that I want. A conversation may just have the same desired effect anyway of 'connecting' with someone, if you have something to talk about. I think a good balance of both is a healthy mixture.

 

I have already enrolled in Salsa dancing lessons starting in just over a week from today. I really do have a limited budget and am not in the best shape financially to start spending money on massage, and am sort of on a conservative budget mode. It feels like a contrived situation, and I would like the women in my life, who either like me, or hate me, to be genuine.

 

If you are an atheist, and you are living in Toronto, and could come to my church, I would still invite you. The people there will love you and be happy you visited.

 

PS> The INCEL site is down. I have no information.

[Admiral Thrawn]

The Admiral Thrawn withdraws the Imperial Post.

[Lucasarts]

^ heheh well the the post you replied to was intended for Lonely Nice Guy (aka LNG)

[Lonely nice guy]

I watched my family last night get drunk and tell me how much they love me. I know it's true, but it's a pathetic way to see and hear it.

 

I've been for a "massage" about 5 times in 12 yrs. A weak moment in my life where I crave the touch of someone else, but actually I come away feeling worse. It's hard to describe, actually some people leave feeling better, I don't. I crave the intimacy which you don't get at a massage. It's business doing pleasure with you attitude is the turn off, I suppose.

 

I've learned from my mistakes, missed opportunities and two gf's. But being the ugly duckling in my family, I have to work 10 times as hard to achieve only 1/10 what others manage. Terrible skin. (This is the Admiral's "touch" thread, so don't start making false comments directed to me how looks don't matter)

 

PS I miss the incel site

[Admiral Thrawn]

I watched my family last night get drunk and tell me how much they love me. I know it's true, but it's a pathetic way to see and hear it.

 

I've been for a "massage" about 5 times in 12 yrs. A weak moment in my life where I crave the touch of someone else, but actually I come away feeling worse. It's hard to describe, actually some people leave feeling better, I don't. I crave the intimacy which you don't get at a massage. It's business doing pleasure with you attitude is the turn off, I suppose.

 

I've learned from my mistakes, missed opportunities and two gf's. But being the ugly duckling in my family, I have to work 10 times as hard to achieve only 1/10 what others manage. Terrible skin. (This is the Admiral's "touch" thread, so don't start making false comments directed to me how looks don't matter)

 

PS I miss the incel site

 

Yeah, I'm waiting to see when this incel site is coming back on. OH well.

This section here is INCEL compatable anyway, as it deals with "connecting' with people anyway. Anybody is INCEL if they have not been in a relationship in the past six months anyway.

 

Thanks for posting about your experience with massage people. It is interesting to know you went 12 times, despite the fact you were not happy with the quality of service. Something in it had to be satisfying that you would do this 12 times. To me, this is something I used to fantasize about doing since 4-5 years back, but never did that.

 

We are all craving intimacy, not just an empty touch, and touch without 'connection' or intimacy is just an empty experience. This is the lesson that you have learned.

 

What I was planning to do, is change a profile on the 'Intimate' section of Lavalife. I am going to pose as a massage student looking for people to practise on. (probably I'll study a book or so about massages so I'll actually know what I am doing). Then see, who will respond to my profile for a 'free' massage. However, it is all on planning stages, and will probably be on a hidden profile and available to a select few 'targets'. If successful, then I will be massaging people for free, and they can massage me too, and genuine intimacy may also be involved as we are dealing with real women, not someone who is massaging 50 guys a day. If someone massages or does like allot of guys at a time, of course there can not be intimacy.

 

Anyway...

[bluetuesday]

oh dear lord. if you've read any ambiguous advice from the 'net which says touching is a good way to show you're interested in a woman, please bear in mind this probably means removing an imaginary bit of fluff from her shoulder or touching her forearm for emphasis as you tell her something - it certainly does not mean grabbing a tit for a crafty feel in a corridor.

 

if a male work colleague said i looked stressed and offered me a backrub i wouldn't report him. i'd just laugh very loudly in his face and suggest if he wanted flesh on flesh contact to go and have a wank.

 

seriously, this is creepy. add me to that list. i appreciate the need for contact but trying to get it in this way will just ensure you're never offered it genuinely.

 

failing everything else, start blubbing at work. someone female will take pity on you and put an arm around your shoulder. you'll probably have to invent some family catastrophe to back it up but do it right and you could be getting touched for weeks.

 

of course, you still won't be able to touch them much. 'my mother/my childhood friend/my turtle just died in a freak yachting accident' will only get you so far. a guy who gets turned on and tries to grope a woman after hearing bad news is not just creepy, he's norman bates.

 

women's radar is turned up extremely highly to creepy behaviour, and we have very long memories.

[Lonely nice guy]

Admiral

 

I've visited a massage 5 times in 12 years, not the other way around. Please read my posts carefully. That's once every two or more years, not once every 6 months or so.

 

Posing as a massage therapist in training on LL intimate is not cool, and possibly wrong. There are enough people who are not honest on LL and other online dating sites, please don't add to that mix of people who spoil it for the rest of us.

 

Here's a suggestion to try on LL. It's honest, it may not get any responses, but it's worth a try. Put up a profile that says the truth, a 30 yr old virgin needs "to be broken in" I have no idea what the response will be, but you'll be honest with them and yourself. I just do not like the idea of lying to anyone, to get sex, money, time or whatever. You always get found out for the fraud that you are. Sorry, brutal but honest. Lying is a character flaw that will set you further back in your quest to conquer the fairer sex.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Admiral

 

I've visited a massage 5 times in 12 years, not the other way around. Please read my posts carefully. That's once every two or more years, not once every 6 months or so.

 

Posing as a massage therapist in training on LL intimate is not cool, and possibly wrong. There are enough people who are not honest on LL and other online dating sites, please don't add to that mix of people who spoil it for the rest of us.

 

Here's a suggestion to try on LL. It's honest, it may not get any responses, but it's worth a try. Put up a profile that says the truth, a 30 yr old virgin needs "to be broken in" I have no idea what the response will be, but you'll be honest with them and yourself. I just do not like the idea of lying to anyone, to get sex, money, time or whatever. You always get found out for the fraud that you are. Sorry, brutal but honest. Lying is a character flaw that will set you further back in your quest to conquer the fairer sex.

 

I have already done that in November. It is not a total lie either if I'm actually going to read books on the subject. But either way, it's probably something that I'm not too interested in pursuing anyway.

 

The profile was 'hidden', it was sunk there, and only available to smiles to any girl who in their profile expressed an interest in being massaged, that's it.

[Outcast]

What I was planning to do, is change a profile on the 'Intimate' section of Lavalife. I am going to pose as a massage student looking for people to practise on. (probably I'll study a book or so about massages so I'll actually know what I am doing).

 

This is illegal. You really need to go see a counsellor. Your posts have me convinced you need help. Your plans and schemes are extremely creepy and you sure don't sound like a 29-year-old man to me. Something is seriously amiss here.

[Admiral Thrawn]

This is illegal. You really need to go see a counsellor. Your posts have me convinced you need help. Your plans and schemes are extremely creepy and you sure don't sound like a 29-year-old man to me. Something is seriously amiss here.

 

Please do not respond to any of my threads or posts in this section any further.

[Admiral Thrawn]

lonelyniceguy;

 

I have modified the profile to state, as you have suggested that I am now portraying myself as a virgin who is scared of having sex because I think I may not be good at it, but who is into massaging people. That would probably elicit a few mercy smiles or mails.

 

The last time I posted I was a virgin, I got a mercy smiley from someone, but did not pursue it.

 

Again, it is not likely that I will carry though with this, and think that I will just concentrate on my work, and just go to church, church groups and Salsa lessons, and coast until the Spring.

[erika2610]

Please do not respond to any of my threads or posts in this section any further.

 

You can't just kick people out of your thread. And why are you trying? Because she's telling you the truth? You're creepy, and need help.

[Outcast]

Please do not respond to any of my threads or posts in this section any further.

 

This is an open forum. If you don't like getting answers, then open your own blog and say what you want and delete answers from people whose opinion you refuse to entertain.

[loony]

women's radar is turned up extremely highly to creepy behaviour, and we have very long memories.

That's absolutely right. This is worse than the friends zone, believe it or not.

[lindya]

A book, called THE ART OF HUGGING, has been borrowed from the library, authored by "William Cane".

 

Here is some raw data from this book:

 

What makes a woman want to hug a man?

 

a) Man is sexy and romantic and will give them a good hug in return.

b) In addition to physical looks and build, women are inclined to hug men

who seem needy. (i.e. woman would rather hug Woody Allen than Arnold Schwarzenegger). An accountant in her mid-twenties said "If they seem like they need a hug, I will hug them".

 

How should men project a huggable image?

 

a) Keep in good shape physically. (Factor for 30% of women)

 

b) Avoid being too thin or delicate.

 

c) Be funny, make her laugh.

 

d) If you are taller, like over 5'8 or something, you should be getting hugs, or you are doing something wrong.

 

PLEUTONIC HUGS vs. ROMANTIC HUGS:

 

- A pleutonic hug, means hands remain in one place, and the hug is VERY brief (ends as soon as it starts). A romantic hug, means the hands wander on the back, and it is elongated.

 

- Pleutonic hug forms are usually appropriate when greeting, saying 'hi' or 'bye' to someone, or in some special moment when they need support.

 

Do you see how bizarre this is? You're looking for information from books and other men about how to get physically closer to women. When women respond to your posts with advice or feedback, you invalidate their responses with reference to the stuff you've read.

 

I get this comic image of you standing looking at a woman, with an open book in your hand and a male friend by your side.

 

Admiral Thrawn: "According to page 135, when one of the woman's feet is pointing in my direction she may be signalising her sexual interest in me"

 

Friend: "Yes - but her arms are folded. This is equivocal. On the one hand, it could be a gesture of rejection...on the other hand she could be defensive but nonetheless potentially interested."

 

Woman: "Look. Both of you. Just f*** off and stop discussing me as if I'm not even here."

 

Admiral Thraw (thumbing frantically through the book) "Ah! Yes - as I thought. Page 172. Apparent anger may sometimes be taken as an aspect of the courtship dance. Many couples deliberately fight in order to experience the pleasure of "making up" sex..."

 

Woman "I do not wish to have sex with you - making up or otherwise. I do not want you to touch me...whether through the convenient discovery of a bumble-bee you covertly placed on my body earlier, or in a casual "brushing spiders out of my hair" manouevre. Don't touch me!

 

Admiral Thrawn "This is all covered under page 95, headed "Ego defence mechanisms. I'd like to quote from the author's reference to denial and repression"

 

Woman: "Aaaagggghhhh! "

 

If you want to know how to communicate, interact and get it on with women then you need to take your nose out of the books, stop listening to what your friends (especially those who are in the same position as you) have to say on the matter and simply get on with the business of learning to communicate with women as fellow human beings - each one unique in the same way that each man is unique - rather than thinking of us as mechanical robots that should really be supplied with a set of instructions.