mik260535 Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 I have been with my girlfriend for about 7.5 years; in the last 18months, we bought a house. Everything was happy until I had an accident at work, just a minor cut to the finger, because of the type of job I do, I had to take 3 months off on the sick. I went back to work and the overtime I had relied on heavily to pay off my debts, and with only 50% sick pay I needed more money than before. I tried talking to her about it but it, and told her we needed to cut down on some of the bills and expenditures for a while, she agreed but nothing happened. About 3 months ago, I started to panic abut my debts and the situation I was getting into. And I spent a week being depressed/ stressed and avoiding her when I could. (I have no idea why I did this.) and at the end of the week I told her I wanted to move out and sell the house, and she asked me why and I told her that I wasn’t happy with the situation I was in and I made a mistake buying the house and I didn’t love her. (again I have no idea why I told her I didn’t love her, I DID). 2.5 months passed and we agreed she was going to buy my half of the house out and continue to live there. I was happy with all of this until I broke down at work in tears and talk to the in-house councillor, poured my hart out and he told me to go see a doctor. The doctor said I was stressed and told me to take time of work which I didn’t because of my debt. I went to see my girlfriend and told her how I felt and that I made a mistake and was sorry for treating her like this. We went for a walk and she calmed me down and made me feel a lot better. Told me that she was having a bit of fun and enjoying the single life, and that we would never be together again, because we wanted different things out of life. Which I disagree with. I still want the same as I always have, the same as her. What I need to know is, should I continue to tell her that we should get back and I will do anything to make it up, or should I get over it and move on? Link to post Share on other sites
ciara12step Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 to me it seems like there were times where bills were just stressin u out and u said things u totally didnt mean .. some of us are like that, where we just say things out of stupidity and totally regret them later .. the problem with that is that she's never gonna forget that .. the best thing i can think of is givin her space and try to have her come to u, stay busy, do things, do everything u can actually but to contact her .. but doesnt she live with u still ? u cant put pressure on them for u to get back together, u have to let it happen on its own, and theres never any guarantees that it will .. but if u step a few steps back, she might just lean forward , but if u lean forward, she'll take steps back Link to post Share on other sites
Author mik260535 Posted December 20, 2005 Author Share Posted December 20, 2005 thanks for the reply, means a lot to me at the moment ot know what other people think Link to post Share on other sites
blue5000 Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 mik260535 -- i know exactly what you're feelin'. i'm in somewhat of the same situation. my ex and i broke up 9 months ago and basically it was all my fault. i have a lot of regrets and feel guilty everyday. i agree with ciara1step about giving your ex some space, but i don't think you should have no contact with her...not quite yet. i think you need to show her you're not stressed and depressed anymore. if you are, than i recommend you work on that, maybe with a counselor. i think the burden is on you to show her that it was just a bad period in your life. in my case, i worked on myself, apologized to my ex several times, kept him informed about what i was finding out about myself, and tried to show him i was changing. the last time we met, i asked if he knew i wanted to be with him. he said, yes. and now i've decided it is time to have no contact. i told him i'm tired of trying, which i did for the last 8 months. in a strange way, i feel like i'm giving up on us, but i don't know what else to do. the ball is in his court, but i wouldn't have been at ease with myself if i didn't try to win him back. perhaps the scars run too deep, i don't know, but 7.5 years is a long time not to fight for your relationships. don't overwhelm her. try and find a good balance between giving her space and letting her know you still care. in the meantime, work on your issues. good luck. and let us know what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mik260535 Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 Today, i have been talking to my ex g/f and she said that her mum has asked if i want to go round for xmas dinner. I have had xmas with her family for the last 7 years and i am not sure if it is a good idea or not. What do you think Link to post Share on other sites
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