Women and the disrespect they crave

[JET]

While counter-intuitive to logical though, belive me when i told you that many women,especially young and attractive women,often drama junkies following " the chemistry" from one relationship to another-often need a certain level of disrespect from a man.

 

nonmonogamy,deception,and controlling behavior ( agruable key evolutionary skills) are requesites they subconsciously again and again seek out in the males they date

 

the sincere,monogamous,and noncontrolling" nice guy" in essence is deemed a loser in the evolutionary lottery of longer term genetic survival-with genetic prospects PERCEIVED so inferior to nonmonogamous"jerks"-that he is deemed unworthy of wasting precious egg on

 

" Disrespect" of females to some extent has a distince advantage in an evolutionary context-and womens genes sense this and react accordingly

 

Point is what women SAY (and actually truely believe) they want in a man,i.e"to respect them" while commendable in a civilized sort of way-what women really desire is quite different

[Miss Mojo]

hi jet,

 

i do believe you have a valid point that applies to SOME chicks out there. i have known women who just aren't happy unless they're in a miserable relationship with an ars!hole guy. a bit of drama gets them all the attention they can get from people. for some women, it is a challenge, which makes it exciting.....i will never understand that train of thought.

 

i have also known some women who grew up with their parents as very bad role models......abusive families and the like, and it's all they know. some women seem to think this is normal in a relationship.

 

i also recall a line from a U2 (i think it was U2) song that went something along the lines of "...because when he hits you, you feel alive".

 

i don't think this point of yours applies strictly to young and attractive women, though. it's not as simple as that.

 

the sincere,monogamous,and noncontrolling" nice guy" in essence is deemed a loser in the evolutionary lottery of longer term genetic survival-with genetic prospects PERCEIVED so inferior to nonmonogamous"jerks"-that he is deemed unworthy of wasting precious egg on

 

never in my life have i viewd the sincere, monogamous, non-controlling guy as a loser. this is the kind of guy that i hold in VERY HIGH regard. this is the kind of guy that i am dying to nab. you may not believe it, but i detest ars!hole guys......there's no way in hell an ar!ehole will getting near one of my eggs. THAT would be a waste of a precious egg.

 

i thank Christ i am not one of these girls that loves bad guys. i can't bear them....but then again, it could have something to do with the fact that i know what i will not tolerate and i have a lot of confidence in myself. i am confident enough and secure enough within myself to know that i deserve better than that, and i don't believe i was put on this earth to waste my time with an insensitive, disrespectful pig....my "woman genes" mustn't be normal (or maybe they are), because when i sense a s*** of a guy, i'm outta there so fast.

 

that is what i TRULY BELIEVE and TRULY KNOW. jeez, i desire a s*** of a guy as much as i desire a hole in the head.

[Tony T]

What you have written is 100 percent true for many women at some point in their developement. However, I don't think it's true for most women once they mature.

 

Now, a much milder version of your theory applies to most females later on. No woman wants a wimp who gives in to their every whim. But older, mature, decent women who come from healthy families and who have any measure of self esteem and self respect will not put up with a guy who is inconsiderate or disrespectful.

 

Since a great many people, men and women, come from screwed up, dysfunctional, emotionally distant or abusive families, the bulk of them have to take years to work out their crap before they are able to appreciate someone who has respect for them. During this process of healing from the effects of their family of origin, what you write is in varying degrees very true, depending on the individual.

 

Overall, females want a kind, decent man who is NOT a pushover, who doesn't give them everything they want, who is not predictable, etc. However, any good lady from a nice family with good values and good self esteem will not put up with disrespect and abuse.

[melody]

What you have written is 100 percent true for many women at some point in their developement. However, I don't think it's true for most women once they mature. Now, a much milder version of your theory applies to most females later on. No woman wants a wimp who gives in to their every whim. But older, mature, decent women who come from healthy families and who have any measure of self esteem and self respect will not put up with a guy who is inconsiderate or disrespectful. Since a great many people, men and women, come from screwed up, dysfunctional, emotionally distant or abusive families, the bulk of them have to take years to work out their crap before they are able to appreciate someone who has respect for them. During this process of healing from the effects of their family of origin, what you write is in varying degrees very true, depending on the individual. Overall, females want a kind, decent man who is NOT a pushover, who doesn't give them everything they want, who is not predictable, etc. However, any good lady from a nice family with good values and good self esteem will not put up with disrespect and abuse.

[melody]

this is true. i agree with what you say. i suppose a reason men disrespect women is because we let them. they love and leave them and perhaps women have some control over whether they stay or not. i think women also want a balance between a strong or so to stay weak man. however maybe another reason men leave is because the women is too strong and they might feel they cannot live up to their expectations and wishes. why men stay why men leave? sometimes a reason that some women put up with the disrespect is they might meet up with the same behavior with another man, but then if the women speaks up to the man and says don't disrespect me there is always the response from the man that the woman is trying to change him. i think there are a lot of healthy woman out there like there are healthy men. but like you said there are also those of us who come with dysfunctions.

 

i agree we need to heal from these dsyfunctions in order to

 

be whole. but our healing has to take place in dialogue with each other. just as many women might disrespect men as the men who disrespect men but we don't hear so much about that. what do you think?

[melody]

this was in response to tony, somehow the 1st posting listed me as the author but i did not post the first one on women and the disrespect they crave. okay

this is true. i agree with what you say. i suppose a reason men disrespect women is because we let them. they love and leave them and perhaps women have some control over whether they stay or not. i think women also want a balance between a strong or so to stay weak man. however maybe another reason men leave is because the women is too strong and they might feel they cannot live up to their expectations and wishes. why men stay why men leave? sometimes a reason that some women put up with the disrespect is they might meet up with the same behavior with another man, but then if the women speaks up to the man and says don't disrespect me there is always the response from the man that the woman is trying to change him. i think there are a lot of healthy woman out there like there are healthy men. but like you said there are also those of us who come with dysfunctions. i agree we need to heal from these dsyfunctions in order to be whole. but our healing has to take place in dialogue with each other. just as many women might disrespect men as the men who disrespect men but we don't hear so much about that. what do you think?

[marzipan75]

I'm a young attractive woman and I am not a drama junkie. My ex left me after 8 years and I don't think I deserved that. Obviously he didn't respect me if he left for another woman but I'm not out there blaming myself for what he did. Is that respect? I have enough self respect to know bull when I read it and you happen to be dishing out a lot of it. Call me a feminist, womanist, whatever but it sounds like you have issues about this yourself. If you have acted in such a way towards women (and it sounds like you have) then you are perhaps acting out because of some issue in your past maybe another female dealt you a blow and that is why you feel the way you do. Not all women provoke disrespect as you are suggesting and if that's the way you feel I can't help but pity you and the next person who has a relationship with you.

 

One more thing: Your grammar is poor, you misspelled distance and you use the wrong tense on more than a few occasions in your post. If you are going to make such an "Intelligent" statement you might want to use a dictionary while you write it.

 

Have a nice day.

While counter-intuitive to logical though, belive me when i told you that many women,especially young and attractive women,often drama junkies following " the chemistry" from one relationship to another-often need a certain level of disrespect from a man. nonmonogamy,deception,and controlling behavior ( agruable key evolutionary skills) are requesites they subconsciously again and again seek out in the males they date the sincere,monogamous,and noncontrolling" nice guy" in essence is deemed a loser in the evolutionary lottery of longer term genetic survival-with genetic prospects PERCEIVED so inferior to nonmonogamous"jerks"-that he is deemed unworthy of wasting precious egg on " Disrespect" of females to some extent has a distince advantage in an evolutionary context-and womens genes sense this and react accordingly Point is what women SAY (and actually truely believe) they want in a man,i.e"to respect them" while commendable in a civilized sort of way-what women really desire is quite different