Girls what do you think?

[Koekie]

I have a dear friend ( a man) who is a bit clueless with his girlfriend. He doesnt get what NEVER to say to a woman. So I thought I could enlist you ladies for help. Answer each question in the following way please and help me to explain to this man how women think.

 

What you would feel if he said that to you (please mention degree of hurt ie. on scale of 1 - 10. 10 being death of a loved one) and what would you do.

 

Now you need to know the story. These two have been together for 2 years. But it has been long distance. They saw each other every two months. He is Egyptian and she is a foreigner, but he is really a nice guy, not a gigolo. And they really love each other. Ok, so Josef is a very attractive man and is friends with all his ex girlfriends. (which I admire as Im not friends with any exes) At 35 there a quite a few. But unfortunately his friends seem to flirt quite a bit and who knows if he flirts back.

 

Ok so after 6 months Sarah was looking for a joke she sent him on his phone and found some sms from his friends saying things like " I had a dream about you all night long, it was amazing, I miss you so much but what can we do" and similiar things from different girls. Now I think some of his friends are not very respectable. Sarah was very upset. A massive fight ensued especially after a girl started phoning Josef (this girl is a bit crazy) and they had a massive shouting match for 2 weeks while Sarah was here. Sarah does not speak Arabic, but trusted him that he was not involved with this girl (confirmed by me and his sister) When she came back again she checked his phone to see if the sms stopped like she asked. She doesnt mind friends but not like that. So she found it didnt stop. By now Josef wanted to break up with Sarah because he couldnt understand why she is so very upset about this as in his mind he is faithfull (he was) and she is just oversensitive and how dare she check his phone. Sarah on the other hand hated the disrespect from his friends, but thought maybe she is too jealous and went to see a counsellor to try and change herself. She really really loves Josef.

 

Right so they decided after breaking up once, that they will start over. Sarah will not say a word about his friends and she asked for it to stop. Then in July a friend of Josef from America (Masriyah) came to visit Egypt. He was with this girl for two weeks before he met Sarah. Now Josef reckons he can go out with girls as he is respectable and knows how to control himself. But Sarah has never met these friends. So he decided to go out with this friend from America. They went out two nights and as the devil was there he kissed this girl. Then he felt guilty about it and stopped talking to her.

 

Now Sarah came to Egypt. And she checked his phone. She found sms from this girl when she was in al3gami and Josef said that he doesnt talk to her anymore because she has gone too far with the type of sms. But later Sarah found another sms saying: " You were like the hungry Asad with the poor Rizaal. I never did sex, but 3ad3ada and playing with you seems much more enjoyable"

 

Ok so Josef had no choice but to confess. Im pretty sure this is the only time he cheated and that is good for a guy who never sees his girlfriend and every one makes a mistake(well once anyway) . Of course Sarah was gutted as she has lived like a married women since she met him. She wouldnt dare go out with other men or even have male friends.

 

Ok so now you know the story please can you tell to me what you would feel and do if he said these things to you and hopefully Josef will begin to see the world of women.

 

Before he cheated(but the friends were there)Josef is very straight, but not mean, just a bit clueless with his girl. So dont take it he means these remarks to be rude to her.

1. Ive never liked big bums much, my gfs before normally had small bums(He really said this) but then added But Im crazy about your bum

2. I dont know why Im with you, I had fun at public places with my girlfriends before and we didnt fight like with you (!!!!!!!??????what ARE you thinking???)

3. You find he kept some cards and letter from one girl only together with yours(incidently the girl he cheated with)

4. He tells you your crazy and silly for being so upset about his friends and no their sms are not disrespectful.

5. He tells you his friends are none of your business

6. he yells at you for upsetting a friend(who is still in love with him after years) when you answered his mobile and identified yourself as his girlfriend.

 

 

After the cheating

1. He tells you you are too sensitive about what happened.

 

What would you feel if you found out your partner snogged someone else after you repeatedly asked them to avoid situations that can become haram?

 

Thankx girls!