What is wrong with him?

[Lea]

I am experiencing this problem. My boy friend is 24 years old and after one orgasm he can not get an erection for a long time. I usually want at least 2 orgasms during love making, however it is not possible with him. How common is this problem. I have heard young men should be able to have sex at elast 2-3 times a day?

 

AM I being unrealistic?

[midori]

I'm sure you're writing out of concern for your boyfriend, maybe you're wondering if he ought to make sure that he's OK medically, etc. But I can't help but see your post as incredibly selfish. I mean yes, two orgasms within one bout of lovemaking is certainly nice ... but is that why you're making love? To hit that two orgasm mark? And if you don't, then do you feel deprived? Cause if that's the case, why not just trade in your current boyfriend for a different model? If it's all about sex I'm sure you'll find an endless supply of guys able to keep it up for hours at a time who will be only too happy to give you multiple orgasms and will be grateful that nothing further is expected of them.

 

Now surely that's not what you're really saying. If you care about your boyfriend and the relationship is more than just sex, then you need to find out what's right for him. Slowly. Every guy is different and they all have their own paces. If your guy is feeling pressured to perform, that may be making it more difficult for him to do so. I've found that a guy whose typical maximum is twice in one night can go for much longer than that, given the right circumstances. Those circumstances would be feeling that his lover is thoroughly enjoying making love and is satisfied and happy with his performance.

 

I think most people would be quick to denounce a man who complained that his girlfriend wasn't immediately as rarin' to go as he was. We'd tell him to take it slowly with her, to build her confidence and let it go at her pace. We'd reprimand him for being a selfish lover. Well it goes both ways I think.

I am experiencing this problem. My boy friend is 24 years old and after one orgasm he can not get an erection for a long time. I usually want at least 2 orgasms during love making, however it is not possible with him. How common is this problem. I have heard young men should be able to have sex at elast 2-3 times a day? AM I being unrealistic?

[Tony T]

Every individual is unique. Some men can have six or seven orgasms a day until about age 30 or 35, when this ability is diminished. There are some who are able to do this well into their forties. Many younger men are only able to have one orgasm at a time. Usually if they wait a half to two hours, they can go at it again. A lot of it has to do with genetics...a lot to do with other factors.

 

Often, this is just their biology and the way their body is. Other times, the inability to reachieve erection and have multiple orgasms, for a man, is due to medication being taken, diabetes, blood pressure irregularities, heart disease, stress and anxiety, preoccupation with other matters, excessive masturbation away from the relationship, etc. More often than not...and this will usually not be admitted...the man has masturbated at least once or twice sometime prior to the lovemaking session.

 

Since achieving an erection has to do mostly with the mind and with blood concentration in the penis, these two areas must be explored first. Most men can get an erection in their mind pretty quick so it's fairly likely that he's just unable for biological reasons to get the blood back down there for a second go 'round.

 

You may need to be very patient and help him with sexy advances to get restimulated. Many men needs lots of friction so after the first orgasm the woman may be so lubricated that sufficient friction is unattainable unless the woman takes appropriate hygenic steps. Some men are just exhausted. His inability to achieve a second erection may be due to some experience with you or another love in the past...where the second try was embarassing for him or didn't work out well.

 

There is simply no way to tell what the case is with your boyfriend without a professional interview and examination so it is useless to even speculate as to what his problem is. Could be just the way he's built...or could be any one of a number of physiological and/or psychological problems.

 

I get some of my best orgasms eating Haagen Das Ice Cream.

 

Believe me, almost every man alive would like to have more than one orgasm a day if he has anything to say about it. I don't think this is an unusual problem and I think you would find the greater number of men need some recovery time before being able to achieve another erection.