First Christmas after separation

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

I can't believe it's been almost a year since we separated. This year I have the kids xmas eve and their dad is joining us in the morning (I have no problem with this) then he is taking them to his relatives' for dinner. I've been a bit more emotional than usual, but I tend to get that way at Christmastime (I love it so much!)

 

Even last weekend we went to a friends party with other families together, with our 2 kids and had a great time. It has been an amicable split, 50-50, doing family things because we are a family still, just not in the traditional sense.

 

My first "twang" if there's a word for it was at the party last week. I had told him he can bring the wine and I'll sign a card from us. Well, I don't think he meant anything by it, and he probably just didn't hear me at first, but he handed the hostess a christmas card from him and the kids. So what? Well, it had a picture of the three of them from their summer vacation, it was a very nice picture. And I also know he sent it to all the people on our card list (including my siblings and parents).

 

It just kind of hurt a bit because I'm the one who is supposed to be having more fun (selfish me talking).

 

After Christmas morning, I just want to go home. But I am expected to be at my brothers' for dinner and that will be okay but not as nice cuz my kids won't be around. I have a friend I've been seeing (mainly for sex) and I know that he is alone, no family here. I have a small gift for him....and would love to see him, especially if he doesn't go to a coworkers that he was invited to.

 

I have another friend, formerly dated a bit, who has to work 12-12 on xmas day. I'd love to see him too and give him his gift....probly on the 26th.

 

Well, I don't know what my question is really. I just kind of wish I had someone special to share Christmas with and I haven't met that person yet, and it's been a long year.

[Mz. Pixie]

Awwww, that first Christmas is hard...... I remember I went through it last year.

 

I'm sorry.........

 

This year things are different for me. I've got a wonderful new hubby and things couldn't be better.

 

Keep your chin up, it will happen for ya!

[A Beer Drinker]

I feel you! This is my first Christams being seperated as well. It is hard to get in the spirit of things....

[Scott S]

It is difficult. I have been through that twice.

 

The first time was particularly difficult, as it was after my then-financee died unexpectedly at age 24.

 

The first Christmas after my ex left was painful. Fortunately family & friends were nearby. It was not as difficult as if I had been alone.

 

I hope you have family & friends nearby for you as well.

[littlekitty]

Sorry you're having such a dreadful time... I hope you enjoy your Christmas the way you wish.

 

Although you are clearly dealing with the seperation in a wonderful and adult manner, I wanted to say thanks for your post.

 

It helped me feel some empathy for my partners ex (+ baby mother). She's hounding me/us to death at the moment with all number of threats, abuse etc. It helps me to keep my poise to feel a little sorrow for her. She must be lonely.

 

[dgiirl]

Awww hun, I can empathize. This will be my first xmas without my exh too. Thankfully, we always spent xmas at my parents house, so not much is going to change this year. But we always spent thanksgiving at his parents house, and this year I was alone for it. It was tough because I had the rush of memories of spending thanksgiving with them and I remembered the things I lost. New Years eve we always spent it with friends, and again, that's something I'm having a hard time with. But instead of focusing on the things you are losing, start new traditions. Go out, do stuff. If you have time, be a tourist in your city! Try and get excited, even if you have to exagerate it a little. Just dont stay at home. Change your scenery and do things you want to do. Especially if it's something your exh would NEVER have done.

[Amethyst020]

Hang in there! I can't speak from too much experience. My first Christmas w/o husband. I truely believe that having friends & family makes a world of a difference. Focus on you (be selfish for once) and the kids. Remember what it meant as a kid for you. Help them to have the same experience. Hope this helps out.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Christmas will be far from lonely but I know I will have my moments. The ex is coming over xmas morning for gift opening with the kids. (We'll be at my parents). I wouldn't even mind if he came xmas eve, not that we do anything too exciting....church, eat, watch tv or play cards.

 

It's those few hours after the kids leave with him to go for xmas dinner, before I go with my parents to my brother's place. I'm going to find that very tough.

 

On another note, I was thinking...this guy I've been "seeing" (mainly for sex) is all alone this christmas. He has no family here, a few friends/coworkers who sort of said he is welcome to join them. He just wants xmas to be over with...his gf of 15yrs left him last summer.

 

I got him a small gift (wine, chocolate, flavored condoms... ) and was thinking I could go see him for a few hrs on xmas day. I guess I will ask and see if he's made any plans yet. I'm worried we might have too much fun though and I'd miss dinner ...kidding

[lilmoma1973]

 

I am so sorry that you are feeling that you are lonely!! Next yr will be another year and maybe just maybe it will be your year to find that true love!!! Hang in there and have a Merry Christmas and if you need a friend pm me anytime !!