Too soon to catch feelings this deep?

[gemmawatt]

I (20F) met this guy at uni almost two months ago. He (26M) is very charming and funny, also he’s a lot more gentle than lots of other guys I’ve encountered. We bounded over singing karaoke with some common friends at the dorms, then we kept being friendly with each other until we had a moment for ourselves and kissed. Thing is he had to leave for work the next day and I left home for holiday. We kept talking almost 24/7 for two weeks and we agreed to meet again at the dorms at weekend, where we almost slept together but I am not the type to sleep around and I’ve only had one boyfriend before going to uni (and I was left heartbroken) so I didn’t give in even though I felt like it. The next week I went to his home in another city, where we did sleep together, he cooked for me, we watched movies, stand-ups since we both liked them. And this kept going on ever since. Every weekend I went to his. We had this weekend when we couldn’t see each other and he was very excited to finally get to see me again, so he asked me to come earlier, even if he’s at work, he wants to come straight to me at home. Thing is, he got me flowers for the first time this weekend, he waited for me at the train station as always, he hugged me forever under the rain and finally told me he fell in love with me, and that I’m everything he ever wanted, but this happened during sleeping together. Before going back to uni, at the train station we kept going back to each other, hugging a little more, and I felt like something was left unsaid. I felt like saying I love you, but I was afraid he didn’t feel like saying it back yet. In my language, there is a big difference between the meaning of “I fell in love with you” and actually loving someone. “I love you” is a way stronger sentence and it’s been a month, almost two since we’ve met. All my girlfriends tell me it’s too soon, that I’m rushing, even they are surprised at the rhythm this has been going at, because it took me forever to date someone back in highschool. Thing is, we got so much time just for ourselves to get to know each other those weekends, it was only the two of us in that apartment. I don’t feel like it’s too much, cause I feel like SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED, like I know him for half a year or something. Do you think it’s all too fast paced? Do you think we should have a better talk about our intentions before I actually engage myself more emotionally? I am in fact dating to marry, and I feel like I’ve found my peace with this one. No butterflies, no mixed feelings, no worries before my friends kinda wrecked my vision, just peace and quiet for my soul. He kinda charges my battery after a long week. So, do you think I’m rushing, or is it just the right person, right time?

[ExpatInItaly]

I think you should enjoy the ride and see where it goes. 

It's not too early to start to develop feelings for someone, but is too early to know if this guy is it for you forever. It's going to take a lot longer than a couple of months to see if this has staying power over an extended period. It is important to talk together about where you both see this as a relationship at this point, and take things from there. 

Have fun with it. It's going well so keep perspective but also nurture the connection. 

[d0nnivain]

It's a little early for the ILYs but if you are feeling it, say it. 

Do NOT talk about your intentions.  It's waaaaaayyyyyy to early for talk of marriage.  Put that out of your head at least until you have graduated and been dating him for more than a year.  If you are dating with the intent for marriage perhaps you would have been better served waiting longer to sleep together.  The sex has accelerated things too much.  You are functioning on hormones not facts.  

[Esteban]

I think it is normal to have feelings like this so soon, but hard to know how real and how long lastings these feelings will be. Focus on enjoying the relationship. Also remember that although he quite likely is a good person you can't know this for sure until later.

'I fell in love' to me is similar to 'I love you'. I personally wouldn't say the former if I wasn't prepared to say the latter. But perhaps others are different. I think I would be willing to say 'I love you" or at least 'I fell in love with you'.

As to marriage, at your young age personally I wouldn't be considering it until you've been together 5-6 years. Of course, there are people, especially in prior generations, who got married at 20 and lived happily ever after but to me it's very risky, you have no idea what either of you will be like at say 40, or what you will want by then.

And last piece of advice be very careful not to get pregnant.

But just focusing on enjoy the presents as it's possible the next few months will just be great. Don't think so much about the future.