Plucking up the courage (or finding the right words)

[Miss Mojo]

hey everyone,

 

i'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment. i am not enjoying my job at all anymore. my heart is just not in it, and it has been showing in my work. even when i push myself, i'm not living up to my full potential.

 

the other day, my boss confronted me about my need to concentrate more. he is right.

 

but here is my real problem now.....i want to put in my resignation, but i am soooooo nervous about doing it. you see, i am the only person in my office apart from my boss (and the bookkeeper and auditor who come in about once a week).

 

i'm just having a real hard time figuring out how to word what i want to tell him....which is i want to leave because i'm in a career rut. i have decided that because we have no support staff, i will not just up-and-leave him. i will stay until we can find someone suitable and i can train them. i wouldn't dream of putting him in a position of panic, because things are starting to get really busy (i joined the company when it was in the process of starting up).

 

does anyone have any ideas on how i can approach this? i have this total sense of loyalty towards my employer. he is a really good person to work for, but i don't think my niche is in office work any longer....actually, i've done my dash with office work and i hate it!

 

i'm so nervous, but i know i have to move on.

 

thanks guys

[Tony T]

A very simple case of anticipatory anxiety...awfulizing. But things are NEVER, EVER as bad in reality as they are when we are awfulizing about the future. So the worst part, the worrying, is right now. When you actually talk to your boss, it will be such relief...akin to an orgasm...you may want to quit once a week.

 

As a matter of fact, while you are giving your notice, just think about sex or something else that you really enjoy. Eat a chocolate bar while your giving notice...have some ice cream...have your boss massage your back and neck while you are giving him the boot.

 

I know how you feel but once you say the words, it's all over and life goes on. I wouldn't tell him that you are sick of the place. Just tell him that you feel it's time to move on, maybe go back to school, move to another town, etc. Actually, you really don't have to give him a reason if you don't want to.

 

Assure him that you will stay on for the period of time it takes to break in someone new. But make sure he makes a concerted effort to find someone...and not put that off. Let him know you'd like to be on your way in no more than four to six weeks max.

 

If you give him notice in a kind way, the experience will be quite pleasant and you will feel so much better you'll just want to quit all the time.

 

Good luck. And if you find yourself unemployed for any period of time, I'll help you build a website and we can tell people how you and I have been torn apart and separated and how wonderful it would be if they would send us $100, $1,000 or even $5,000 to keep us going until you can find another job to support me. And we can get Laurynn to be our webmaster!!!

 

Deal???

[Miss Mojo]

tony,

 

you are a cack. it's a deal. i think laurynn would be a good webmaster.

 

i might pass on the massage from the boss. he's a bit old for me and he's married. eeewww...that conjures up awful images.

 

awfulizing....that is a good way to put it. i just want to do the right thing by him. i think by putting in my resignation i'm being fair to the both of us. he is a fairly understanding guy, and the time would have come oneday for me to move on....it just happens to be now.

 

i actually have a box of chocolates sitting on my desk now....maybe i should eat them when i put in my resignation....or maybe i should choke on one and leave my job because i can't answer the phones anymore (well, at least while i'm choking).

 

if quitting is akin to an orgasm, then maybe i can stay single all my life and heck, quit every day!!

 

thanks

[marzipan75]

Sometimes you just have to be as honest as you can. I have been there and since you value the relationship you've had with your boss, I think you owe it to him to tell him that you just don't feel you are suited to the job anymore. Tell him exactly what you told us just now. Say that you feel like you need to do something else with your career and soften the blow by telling him how much you have valued working for him and that it isn't going to be easy for you to leave either but it's what you feel you need to do. You could write a letter of resignation and then talk to him before you give it to him. Then explain your plan of not leaving him out in the cold and wanting to train someone to suit his needs so that he sees you are not just "ditching" him. I think if you put it in that context you can't go wrong.

 

The worst that can happen is that he will be unhappy but just as in any situation, the choice is entirely yours and all he can do is accept it once you have told him the truth.

 

I think he will appreciate your honesty and respect your decision no matter what.

 

I hope that helps! Good luck!

hey everyone, i'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment. i am not enjoying my job at all anymore. my heart is just not in it, and it has been showing in my work. even when i push myself, i'm not living up to my full potential. the other day, my boss confronted me about my need to concentrate more. he is right. but here is my real problem now.....i want to put in my resignation, but i am soooooo nervous about doing it. you see, i am the only person in my office apart from my boss (and the bookkeeper and auditor who come in about once a week). i'm just having a real hard time figuring out how to word what i want to tell him....which is i want to leave because i'm in a career rut. i have decided that because we have no support staff, i will not just up-and-leave him. i will stay until we can find someone suitable and i can train them. i wouldn't dream of putting him in a position of panic, because things are starting to get really busy (i joined the company when it was in the process of starting up). does anyone have any ideas on how i can approach this? i have this total sense of loyalty towards my employer. he is a really good person to work for, but i don't think my niche is in office work any longer....actually, i've done my dash with office work and i hate it! i'm so nervous, but i know i have to move on. thanks guys

[Miss Mojo]

thanks marzipan,

 

you're right. i think he will appreciate the honesty. i think my decision will benefit the company and myself. it really is something i feel i need to do....not enjoying 40 hours of my week ain't much fun!

 

thanks for your advice