Barby Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Okay so some of you know my story. For those of you who don't.....as briefly as I can I will re-cap. I dated Oscar for over 2 years, we ended our relationship because he became jealous, started being abusive, swearing I was cheating, ect, ect. I couldn't handle the relationship anymore so I ended it. I gave him space (stopped talking 2 him for a few months) and let him know I'd only consider being friends if he got his self 2gether...(realized he had the problem not me (in his jealousy...I didn't cheat he was just insecure)). Life went on, I moved on and assumed he did too...one day I decided to call him...I missed him and wanted to be friends....we rekindled our friendship and over time (about 3 months) we became friends then eventually we got back together. We have taken things very slowly and he's proved that he's not the insecure "accusing" jerk that he had became previously....us taking time to date others (I did but he didn't) helped us to move on and realize that we wanted each other and since being back 2gether our relationship is a lot better. We realized that we don't "need" each other, to "need" another person is merely showing that you're lacking something within yourself.....we enhance each other's life and add to each other's happiness....I believe in second chances and know that if each grows and learns seperately then the relationship can indeed work out. However neediness and desperation will be a relationship destroyer not saver or lifeline... My point in this thread is after reading some stories/questions on second chances I decided to give my story. Link to post Share on other sites
Drewpy Posted December 24, 2005 Share Posted December 24, 2005 Thats a real nice story. Good luck:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Barby Posted December 24, 2005 Author Share Posted December 24, 2005 Yeah well it's an okay story...what I meant by it was that people do change, things can work out, life does go on to be wonderful and though not "problem free" but at least happy....and sometimes with the one person everyone tells you to forget about. Just wanted to throw in that it does happen sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Extra Truth Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 Hi Barby Just came from Christmas Eve get together with friends who knew my ex. 2 weeks ago, after 2.5 months apart, she and I attended a party at these friends' house (they're more mine than hers). The ground rules were no dates per the host and she was upset that I called her beforehand to confirm she would not bring a man with her. Party goes great for hours then she shows up, drinks, I keep my distance and talk to ladies, and I see her talking to a fellow at the party, who was tonight's Christmas eve party tonight, and I learn that she told this total stranger that she was dating, and sleeping with someone, and that it meant nothing, and that she didn't want him to tell me tonight. I took her home from the party that night, and she was tipsy. We slept in the same bed but not sex. The next day we spoke for 7 hours over coffee listening ot breakup music, then the last hour was ugly with her saying she would never have babies with someone so selfish, etc. She said my not respecting her space and boundaries, was the same disrespect I and selfishness I had shown throughout the relationship. Except for the ending I thought that night had gone well. So tonight I learn about her dating, and I learn that she called my friends who I was with tonight twice after that party. These friends are a married couple and that fellow is a close friend of theirs. So I learn all of this information about my loved one's sleeping around (it may have been a one night stand, maybe not). My friends say I'm being played, that my ex is just being a woman and has moved one. The men say, why give your heart like a married man when you know she is sleeping with other men? It's hard to argue against that point. But I do love her still and have hopes of reuniting. Barby, I ask you, how did you and your ex work out your dating. Why did you do it, speaking as a woman of course. Were you as finished with him as my ex says she is with me--did your dating including sex, and if so, what was that all about. I am really trying to figure out how to balance my emotions, this hope I have, reality about the breakup, and put sex in its proper perspective. I will really appreciate your thoughts, and Merry Christmas! J in LA Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 I am so happy for you Barby!!!! Oscar better be good to you 'cause you deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
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