married men flirting

[Treacle]

Firstly apologies as i'm new here posted this on another thread and didn't realise there was a flirting forum so hopefully now posting in the right spot.

 

 

They say it is ok for a married man to flirt with a woman that is not his wife.

A bit harmless, o prove he still has it so to speak.

 

But is i ok for a single woman to flirt with a married man, esp if he flirted with her first.

a bit of flirting, a bit of teasing a few touches, eye contact, a wink and a smile.

 

Is there any harm in that

If so why and where would you put the line

 

 

The reason i ask is there is this man who has done all the above and i did fall for him, still have a soft touch for him.

Nothing has happened and didn't realise straight away he was married, but too late.

 

Now i know nothing can happen between us, is it still wrong to have a bit of harmless flirting

[witabix]

Firstly apologies as i'm new here posted this on another thread and didn't realise there was a flirting forum so hopefully now posting in the right spot.

 

 

They say it is ok for a married man to flirt with a woman that is not his wife.

A bit harmless, o prove he still has it so to speak.

 

But is i ok for a single woman to flirt with a married man, esp if he flirted with her first.

a bit of flirting, a bit of teasing a few touches, eye contact, a wink and a smile.

 

Is there any harm in that

If so why and where would you put the line

 

 

The reason i ask is there is this man who has done all the above and i did fall for him, still have a soft touch for him.

Nothing has happened and didn't realise straight away he was married, but too late.

 

Now i know nothing can happen between us, is it still wrong to have a bit of harmless flirting

 

Harmless flirting is not seducing someone there is a difference. And touching should most definately be avoided.

[JadeStar]

"They say it is ok for a married man to flirt with a woman that is not his wife."

 

Who said this? You got this info from where?

 

 

"Is it still wrong to have a bit of harmless flirting?"

 

 

Yes, because you have already stated he has already been doing this, and you're falling for it. Which means he can now tell you're vulnerable. I would imagine that something is lacking in his marraige for him to want to flirt, and something lacking in yours for you to welcome/receive what he is doing/saying.

 

People flirt sure, but when people are married, IMO I think that can be dangerous, because they assume its harmless and nothing will happen. Thats where alot of things do start to happen though, it begins or can begin with flirting, and will eventually lead to other things.

 

 

 

Jade

[Treacle]

Jadestar

 

"They say it is ok for a married man to flirt with a woman that is not his wife."

 

Who said this? You got this info from where?

 

 

It's from what i heard from a whole host of people men and women. Flirting is just being friendly, to be able to make someone smile and brighten up their day.

 

Btw - i'm not married

[JadeStar]

As Wit said, theres a difference between harmless flirting and a seducing type of flirting.

 

Ok so you're not married...but he is. So he probably shouldn't be flirting.

 

A bit of teasing, touching, eye contact, winking, smiling. Those are some of the things you mentioned he has already done. Do you think its friendly? Or do you think he has a motive behind all those things? Lets say you perceive them as friendly, he may not, especailly if you do it back. He may read way to much into it. I would say stay clear of this, or at least do not respond to what he is doing, unless you want to find yourself in deeper.

 

 

 

 

Jade

[lilmoma1973]

 

No man should be flirting at all if they are married ,it is wrong and very disrespectful!!! i do not agree with this at all!! Whoever told you that BS shouldn't be married ,and stay singel it is total rubish !!! i don't buy it at all!!

[cherriesred]

Now this is a subject i can share my experience with.....and you can take from it what you will.....

 

I have started a thread called "why the games" so i'm not going to go into all the details.....

 

I'm am the married flirter .....flirting with a single co-worker ....a little bit of flirting or in our case "innocent flirting" meaning....eye contact, smiles, winks, brushes as we walk past each other, sharing coffee breaks ......lead to a "little bit of flirting" in emails, which in turn turned into all day exchange of conversation through emails, which leads to "a little bit of flirting" during company social events, which leads to secret meetings at his (or in your case being you are the single one - your house), and "a little bit of flirting" in our phone conversations from my cell phone....well you get the idea.....just over a year into our "innocent flirting" we thought we had control of the situation....ok...he thought he had control of the situation and there was a "line in the sand" we/he wouldn't cross making our "affair" physical....but a couple of weeks at a Christmas staff party...a little too much drinking, far to much "harmless flirting" .....we crossed the line and we can't take it back....(we did not sleep together)....now he is backing away - what he does when our "harmless flirting" edges too close to the line. And we start the progess all over again....we have both tried numerous times to call "it" off because what we are doing could leave broken hearts in it's wake - my husband's / his / mine ......but neither of us has the will or apparently the strength to do the right thing - Does it still sound like "a little harmless flirting"?

 

Now for the married point of view on "Harmless Flirting" - Maybe he likes the excitment that a "little bit of flirting" gives him, but like any good "drug" of choice, he's going to need more and more....get more daring .....push the limit just that much further until next thing you know you are sleeping and maybe caring too deeply for a man who is unavailable to you.....and if he was to make himself available to you would you want him.....could you trust him?

[Treacle]

cherriesred

 

Thank you for your reply and i have read your thread.

 

Thankfully we don't work for the same company, but do work near each other, we also live close to each other

Sometimes we may catch the same train to or from work, only sometimes though as we work different shift patterns

 

I have known him for nearly a year now and yes i have wondered many times over the months what he was playing at, did he like me, was he just being friendly as nothing really has gone on, we don't meet socially never has asked for my number, so have just seen him as a friendly guy or a big flirt.

i have convinced myself (rightly or wrongly) that if he was interested in something more than just friendship he would have done something by now.

[cherriesred]

cherriesred

 

Thank you for your reply and i have read your thread.

 

Thankfully we don't work for the same company, but do work near each other, we also live close to each other

Sometimes we may catch the same train to or from work, only sometimes though as we work different shift patterns

 

I have known him for nearly a year now and yes i have wondered many times over the months what he was playing at, did he like me, was he just being friendly as nothing really has gone on, we don't meet socially never has asked for my number, so have just seen him as a friendly guy or a big flirt.

i have convinced myself (rightly or wrongly) that if he was interested in something more than just friendship he would have done something by now.

 

Treacle

 

Our situations are obviously very different in that i a full 8 hour day - 5 days a week to flirt and have the flirting progress, you apparently have the commute to work and back.

 

Although i couldn't possible know the intentions behind the wink, and eye contact except that he finds you attractive and receptive to his flirting....which is always a wonderful ego boast for anyone single or married. Does he have an plans to take it further.....after a year....i wouldn't think so, maybe it is all about "harmless flirting" for him with the cute girl on the train and maybe the cute girl that serves him coffee at the coffee shop, and the cute girl who pumps his gas.......

 

Everyone is different in what they find acceptable, only you can live with the decisions you make, so to answer your question

 

Now i know nothing can happen between us, is it still wrong to have a bit of harmless flirting

 

How would you would feel if a cute single girl on the train was flirting with your man?? (i know you say you are single but imagine for a moment that you had a significant other who was being flirted with)

 

Trust me i have tried to imagined my husband doing what i am doing....and as i said the time i went to his house after our second x-mas dinner, i left from guilty because that was right around the time that i realized that i wasn't sure that we were "innocent flirting" anymore.....and as i sat and drank my wine.....all i could think about was how i would feel if i was sitting at home while my husband was a secretly at a female co-worker's home that he admittedly found sexually attractive and had been flirting with for months.....the sick feeling in the pit of my stomache made me jump up and leave. Apparently though like any other addict with my "drug" of choice feet away from me.....i couldn't give it up and got past the sick feeling....and needed more and more.....

 

ps. I went to his house last and once again ended it with him! I told him it all had to stop, the flirting, the looks, the emails.....everything i wanted all to stop. Will it?? I seriously doubt it but i'll do my best.