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I went on two dates and he seemed keen but has since ghosted me! M29 F28 Avatar for daisymay1996


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lilypel

I went on two dates this boy (the first being 24 hours) and he then went away for 5 weeks.

He was so keen after our last meet and said he wanted to chat with my whilst he was away (I said we should speak maybe whenhe's back as 5 weeks is a long time). I even met his brother and sister in law.

We're on week 3 and he stopped texting a week ago! I stalked him on hinge and he has changed his location to where he is inSpain.

Do you think this is ok? I do think he will message when he at least comes back to London.

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d0nnivain

If he changed his location on the dating app he's clearly looking to hook up while he's in Spain.   That would give me health concerns when he does come back to London.  

I don't have a crystal ball.  I can't predict what he will do upon returning but he did warn you that he wouldn't in contact while he was away.  So far he's showing that he is truthful in that regard.  His behavior does indicate that he's not all that serious or looking to settle down.  I would be reluctant to go all in on this guy.  

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lilypel
5 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

If he changed his location on the dating app he's clearly looking to hook up while he's in Spain.   That would give me health concerns when he does come back to London.  

I don't have a crystal ball.  I can't predict what he will do upon returning but he did warn you that he wouldn't in contact while he was away.  So far he's showing that he is truthful in that regard.  His behavior does indicate that he's not all that serious or looking to settle down.  I would be reluctant to go all in on this guy.  

He said he DID want to chat whilst he was away...I was the one to question it but we agreed we would.

His friend came and visited him for a week, just gone, so they have been busy together but still a small message would've been nice.

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Wiseman2

What is "Avatar for daisymay1996"?

Even though you had a nice couple of dates, all you can do is stay in light touch and see what happens when he returns. 

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smackie9

What he says and what he does are two different things. He is keeping his options open and so should you. 

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FredEire
1 hour ago, lilypel said:

I went on two dates this boy (the first being 24 hours) and he then went away for 5 weeks.

He was so keen after our last meet and said he wanted to chat with my whilst he was away (I said we should speak maybe whenhe's back as 5 weeks is a long time). I even met his brother and sister in law.

We're on week 3 and he stopped texting a week ago! I stalked him on hinge and he has changed his location to where he is inSpain.

Do you think this is ok? I do think he will message when he at least comes back to London.

Very similar thing happened to me a while ago, met a girl I really liked a few days before I went back to Spain for two months. Whether you chat or not the reality is the relationship is in limbo, so there's no point overthinking it really, just try to meet when he's back and as others have said keep your options open and accept he most likely is as well.

In my case we met up when I was back and the second date was a disaster which ended with the girl storming off. There's no point really overthinking or overanalysing anything while he's away, it could end up going anywhere really, putting time into fantasies about how he is and a potential future relationship is a massive waste of energy. Just relax and focus on other stuff in the meantime.

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Alpacalia

24 hours is just too much time stuck with anyone when you've only just met. Sometimes it can take just a few meetings to realize that actually, the person you're keen on is really bloody irritating, makes inconsiderate comments or is asking to go on a date that you are just not up for! Other times, you realize you didn't quite warm to them and that's fine too. 

So, I can't really say if it's okay that he stopped texting after a week because I don't know what happened during those 24 hours and what led him to change his mind. 

People's circumstances can change in a short amount of time and perhaps he had a change of heart, or he's busy enjoying his holiday. 

See what happens when he gets back. In the meantime, don't wait around for him and keep yourself open to other potential connections. 

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