multipibb Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 I know that I have trust issues with my girlfriend, but I love her so much I cant stand the thought without her. We have been dating 2 years and 4 months now and Im getting myself into big trouble. First year we were in High school together, Then we went to college. I cheated on her first semester and I told her around Christmas time. She eventually forgave me an we fought here or there. every tuesday we would drink with a friend of mine and a couple of her friends, Wed pretty much fight every tuesday night for some reason or another and I think it was because I was feeling threatened by one of my friends and the way they talked to each other. I always feel like someone is trying to take her away from me and I try to control the situation. This past thanksgiving We hung out everyday and night, and Dave(my friend whom I dont trust) called to hang out, I said no, Im hangin out with Julie and I dont want to do anything else. He was upset but this put me over the edge, So i got on his AIM account, my girlfriends aim account and blocked them from each other. also changed his number in my girlfriends phone. Well last Friday we all drank together and they talked and figured it out, I confessed to Julie but not Dave, which im sure he knows. now i feel like Julee is going to hold things back form me or tell me lies to work around the problem. She still wants to hang out with him, even though he talks bad about me to her. But she has showed no intentions of every discerning my trust, yet I still have a problem with it. Is there something I can do to just let it go and give myself fully into her, or is that not possible with my mind? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Sounds to me like you have trouble trusting her or your friend because you haven't trusted yourself in the past because of the cheating that you did. Its highly possible you feel she may cheat on you because of what you did to her. I would imagine thats where it stems from. If you feel she has forgiven you for what you did, then you need to forgive yourself as well. You blocking emails and changing numbers etc are control tatics. I think by you doing this it will push her further away from you, and possibly to someone else. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author multipibb Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 And see, thats what im truly worried about. So what should I do for her? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Well you can reasure her of your love for her etc. However if someone is gonna cheat...they are gonna cheat. I'm not saying she will just becaue you did, but by you being controling with the emails and cell numbers etc, isn't helping things, plus it really shows her how insecure you are, which is not becoming. I think you need to get ahold of your insecurities before they get way out of hand. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author multipibb Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 Any advice on getting a hold of them? Is it just talking to myself in my head that im blowing things up and way out of proportion? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Have you thought about seeking help for yourself? Maybe a counselor can help you learn to handle/deal with your trust/insecurity issues better. They can probably be more of help as far as telling you advice on how to handle things better. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
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