Restraining orders

[Feeling Sick]

Ok, I'm 16 years old, as is my girlfriend. My girlfriends mother hates me for many reasons(which ill leave out to make this short) and wants to get a restaining order on me so i cant go near her daughter. Is it possible for her to get one against me if i never physically hurt my girlfriend and my girlfriend doesnt want it? In fact I never hurt her in any way, not just physically. So is this possible? If so I will have a chance to go to court and defend myself right? Please give some answers, I feel so sick right now because I love her so much and cant imagine not seeing her ever again.

[Tony T]

Her mother can get a restraining order, or peace bond, if she can prove to the court that you may be a danger to the safety or mental wellbeing of her daughter...depending on the laws of your state.

 

Generally, restraining orders are issued for spouses and ex spouses who have shown themselves to be problematic prior to, during or after a nasty divorce.

 

In your case, I think the judge would require the mother to show copies of police reports where she called to report some sort of tresspass or harrassment by you. It depends on the mood and posture of the judge, though. Some would issue it and some would not.

 

As far as you being able to defend yourself, you will not be notified of the time, date and place a hearing is scheduled and you would not be required to attend. You would be served with the restraining order if one is issued.

 

I know you didn't ask, but conventional wisdom would dictate that you find a girlfriend whose mother doesn't hate you so much that she would go to court to keep you away from her daughter.

 

What is it about all this you haven't told us...or is mama nuts? And what is it about this girl that you would put up with all this abuse?

[Feeling Sick]

The mother is nuts. She's an alcoholic and sometimes I think shes even schitzophrenic, though other people say it's alcohol blackouts. When she blacks out she abuses her daughter(my girlfriend) and so I tried helping her. Because I couldn't stand seeing it happen. Her mother honestly doesnt like me, as sick as this seems, because I'm college bound. I'm real smart and at 16 I've recieved full scholarships to out of state colleges....and the mommy doesn't want to let her daughter go. So she locks her away. Who knows what is going to happen. As far as why I'm suffering so much for this girl....I dont know. I can't explain how happy she made me. When she left everything was perfect...and I really mean perfect. Our relationship was so good sometimes I thought we were in a dream instead of reality. But now both our lives are ruined because of an alcohol problem...and I'm taking the blame because the mother doesnt seem to remember any of this, and refuses to seek help. I dont know much else to say, just responding to you Tony. Thank you for answering.

[Tony T]

If the mother is a drunken bum as you say, she's probably bluffing about getting a restraining order.

 

But I will also tell you that an alcholic parent does major head trips on the kids that last a lifetime. My bet is that your girl, even though you had a nice time for a while, has extremely serious psychological problems as a result of being around a mother like this.

 

Your lady will probably require a lot of counselling and other healing work before she can be a decent long term mate for anybody. That's something for you to keep in the back of your head for later. At 16, I'm sure you're not thinking that far ahead. Of course, if you're as smart as you say, you'll avoid falling for girls whose moms will put you through this kind of stuff.

 

I will also tell you that if, on the outside chance the two of you even got married, mama would make your life a living hell.

 

Glad you're leaving for college soon. You'll find a lot of great ladies on campus...and their mamas will be way back home. I hope you like older women because most of the girls on campus, at least for a couple of years, will be older than you.