A Phase???

[Someone]

Hi,

 

I used to date a guy for a year. I care for him, but never find myself too attractive to him so I decided to break it off. We remained friends, but that was to difficult too. I'm the kind of person that tends to complicate thing. I was worried that I might mislead him and hurt him more. I don't want to hurt him, so I decided to not talk to him at all. It had been awhile now.

 

Since then, somehow, I'm finding myself in a very weird phase. It seems like everyday I like a different boy. One boy was pretty cute, but then I noticed that he's too flirty....touches any girl he could get a hand on. So I don't like him. Now I'm attracted to another guy. There are couple of really nice guys that like me, but I'm not interested in them at all. What's wrong with me? Am I going through the bad boy phase or something? I went to the bars (I'm 21) with a couple of guys and I didn't do anything wrong just let them touches my thigh. That's it....a little flirting and drinking. I don't know if anyone went through this phase? But I'm just wondering. I think I'm not ready for anything serious right now....maybe I'm enjoying my single life way too much???

[marzipan75]

It sounds pretty natural to me. I am recently single and although I haven't gone out as much as you, I am doing about the same thing you are. It just sounds like harmless flirting and having a good time to me. I think you are fine and should keep having yourself a good time. The only thing I would caution you about is safety. If you are sleeping with any of these people you really want to make sure you are safe because anything can happen. Also: about these guys you go to bars with, how good of friends are they with you? It's great that you are going out and having fun, just make sure you are okay if you ever drink too much because that's where the trouble can be. Do you go out with your girlfriends or at least have someone you know you can trust around you when you are out? That's always a good thing to have because if you get too much to drink you could wind up in a bad situation with someone who doesn't understand that all you want is to be single and have fun right now, if you know what I mean. Some guys can be nice on the surface and then turn into total freaks when they get you alone. Just be a litte more careful about who you spend time with alone when you're out and I think you'll be fine.

 

Hope that helps.

 

Marzipan

Hi, I used to date a guy for a year. I care for him, but never find myself too attractive to him so I decided to break it off. We remained friends, but that was to difficult too. I'm the kind of person that tends to complicate thing. I was worried that I might mislead him and hurt him more. I don't want to hurt him, so I decided to not talk to him at all. It had been awhile now. Since then, somehow, I'm finding myself in a very weird phase. It seems like everyday I like a different boy. One boy was pretty cute, but then I noticed that he's too flirty....touches any girl he could get a hand on. So I don't like him. Now I'm attracted to another guy. There are couple of really nice guys that like me, but I'm not interested in them at all. What's wrong with me? Am I going through the bad boy phase or something? I went to the bars (I'm 21) with a couple of guys and I didn't do anything wrong just let them touches my thigh. That's it....a little flirting and drinking. I don't know if anyone went through this phase? But I'm just wondering. I think I'm not ready for anything serious right now....maybe I'm enjoying my single life way too much???

[Miss Mojo]

hi someone,

 

it seems to me that you've pretty much nailed it in your last sentence:

 

I think I'm not ready for anything serious right now....maybe I'm enjoying my single life way too much???

 

i don't feel that what you are going through is weird at all. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. it's 100% normal. you don't always have to be with somebody.

 

tons of people feel this way at some stage in their life.

 

the fact that you like a different guy everyday just goes to prove that you are not ready to settle in a relationship with someone. when you are ready to have a boyfriend, you will know it without a doubt. of course you will still find other guys attractive, but you won't want any of them...you will want just one.

 

but there is no rush to find a boyfriend. a couple of guys may like you and even if you think they are nice, that doesn't mean you should be attracted to them. there are lots of guys i think are nice, and i'm not attracted to them one iota. they're simply just nice guys. there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. it doesn't really indicate a bad boy phase. if it did, you'd probably be chasing the pants off mr-touchy-feely-flirty that you don't like now.

 

just be careful that when you do date guys and go to bars with them, that you don't get in over your head. if you want to take it further than flirting, that is your decision as long as you are comfortable with it and you are careful. however, if you don't want to take it further than flirting, then always try to drink in moderation. don't accept a drink from someone you don't know, because God knows what someone could slip into a drink (it seriously happens). some people think a drunk person is the perfect person to take advantage of, so always keep your wits about you.....at least this way, you shouldn't get hurt.

 

good luck

[Someone]

Thanks for your advice. I am being careful...I only flirt and that's pretty much it. And I drink in moderation...just to let me loose. So I am taking care of myself. I'm glad someone is agreeing with me going through this stage of life =) I should just enjoy my fun =)