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Need advice


Alcindor

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Dear Lucy,

 

I have been in a relationship for 8 months. I was crazy about her at first, but the moment I saw a friend I've been crazy about for some time the feeling dropped off an intensified for my friend. This happened about 6 months ago.

 

My friend plays volleyball with me in the summer. She's 23 and I'm 30. She played baskeball in high school. I was getting started coaching and was helping the team she was on. In fact, I'm still with the team. A friend doesn't think the past coach, player thing should matter because that was about 5 or 6 years ago and I wasn't much of a coach back then, more like an intern.

 

I called her after our volleyball matches last night and asked her to lunch. Here's what I said "I was calling to see if you would like to have lunch tomorrow or sometime next week, sometime."

 

There was a pause after that, then she said yes, but not tomorrow and to give her a call next week.

 

I don't want it to be a "lunch date". She knows I have a girlfriend. I just want to get to know her better and for her to get to know me better. She is a great person and I would like to have a relationship with her, but if that were to happen, I would want it to be done right. Get to know each other better as friends first. See if that friendship grows. If it grows enough then move on to a date. I've just been in relationships that start as a date and I want a relationship to start from friendship.

 

I didn't say any of this stuff to her. I was afraid that was going to scare her away. I am/was considering sending her an e-mail to assure her I'm not under the assumption that having lunch with her would be a "date."

 

Thank you in advance for your advice.

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Please forgive me for inadvertantly opening this post, obviously meant for Lucy. I suppose I may have some 'splainin' to do???

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