Getting my friends off of my back.

[Howler]

I know that my friends mean well with the constant pestering to meet someone new. Introducing me to friends and increasingly distant family members but the truth is that I am not interested in meeting anyone.

It has been over a year since my last real relationship and I have never been happier. If it weren't for the previously mentioned pestering, life would be dangerously close to perfect.

I have tried explaining this to others but I barely understand it myself. I grew up with the impression that I somehow owed it to ... I don't know, humanity as a whole I suppose, to be seeking out my one true love.

I am pretty much a geek and women were never terribly interested on me anyway. I spent years trying to convince the women around me that I was relationship material. They spent years trying to convince me that I was not. I have to wonder now if I spent so long at it because I did not want to lose the "argument".

The crazy thing was that I have recently realized that none of the relationships I was in made me happy. I have been going out with women this last year just to make the people fixing me up happy.

When I try to explain my feelings to them, I get alot of "you can't give up on love" and "she's out there, tiger".

I wish that I could find a way to communicate to them that, without self pity or bitterness, some people are meant to be alone.

I have lost interest in keeping up appearances anymore. I could not even feign interest in my friend's lovely cousin.

I don't want to be pestered but I also don't want them to think that I am just giving up and sulking.

Maybe there is no easy answer to this. I think that maybe I just needed to get it off of my chest.

[amerikajin]

I think you are half right.

 

Your friends should stop pestering you, because even if you were interested - and I realize you're now saying you're not - but even if you were, it won't happen if it's forced, or staged, or set up. It has to happen naturally.

 

Now, that said....don't throw in the towel just yet. Just make sure that whatever happens, it happens on your terms. Maybe you're the kind of guy who likes to get closer to women and check them out casually rather than doing the whole date thing - I don't know.

 

But...she's out there, tiger.

[lindya]

I don't want to be pestered but I also don't want them to think that I am just giving up and sulking. Maybe there is no easy answer to this. I think that maybe I just needed to get it off of my chest.

 

You sound perfectly relaxed about being single, and it sems more that other people are placing pressure on you to find someone. I think most people do believe that finding a partner is one of the most important aspects of life...so they worry if you don't have one. It's sweet, really, and it's a sign that they care.

 

I think that if you're happy as you are you just have to let them know that - but keep smiling and telling them you appreciate the effort. After all, at some point in the future you may change your mind and decide that you do want to meet some of these girls that other people are trying to introduce you to...so you don't want to burn your bridges there.