im scared

[someone67849]

I met this guy from my university in october. we met on a dating app but realized that we had been following each other on social media from way before. so, we started talking and getting to know each other and grew to really like spending time together. over the month of october we hung out and talked a lot, i had my first kiss with him, he was very proactive about hanging out and making plans. he seemed genuine through all of this and i started to really like him. one day, i  went over to his house and we shared an intimate moment. I was very verbal after and asked him what all this meant and he acknowledged that he knows we are going really fast, but he likes me. I was happy with all that and was willing to figure it out with him as time went on. But, idk what happened after that day but he grew really distance, stopped texting me a lot or making plans. we even saw each other on campus once and he just pretended not to see me. I saw this is as very disrespectful to me because i hated that the day he decided to stop seeing me was the day i  had been intimate with him. I thought there was something wrong with my body or that i did something wrong. I tried to initiate us talking it out once or twice, to which he said he'd let me know when but never did, so i gave up. I just completely stopped talking to him for a few months. In november I saw him on campus again and he came up to me to speak to me, acted very nonchalant and just kept talking about how busy he'd been and I acted the same way because I didn't want to show him i cared at all. That same day, i found out that he had been trying to start talking to one of my friends right after we shared that moment back in october. I dont think he knew she was my friend because they met through a greek life event. through november, he tried reaching out once and I was very hurt so I kind of just shut him down. In december, I went out to a club and saw him ther with his friends. At first he was at the bar with another girl, but I saw him realize I was there and he came over to me and talked to me again, nothing too special just asking how i've been and stuff and i told him i'm great and it was fine. After finals, I had to go home for the holidays because I was going through something very difficult with my family. These difficult moments made me remember the moments I shared with him and it was new years so I was feeling sentimental, so I reached out to him on snapchat, asked him how hes been. and he told me that he failed a couple classes and is just going through it in general. after that, we started snapping every day and that made me happy that we were just friends and it was fine now. I went through a lot in january and realized that I thought of him in every diffucult thing I went through. like, it always came back to him in my mind, and how abandoned I felt when he randomly left. In february I dont know what came into him, but he randomly broke the silence and told me he's not back at school this semester because hes going through something with his family. Eventhough he has hurt me before, I still feel for him as a person so i told him that i'm here if he needs anyone to talk to. I guess he was touched by that because he actually acknowledged what he did before and apologized for it. He told me that he did that because whenever he feels something real for someone he ends up ghosting them instead of talking to them and that hes been going through a lot. I accepted his apology and agreed to hang out with him whe he asked to hang out and catch up sometime. after this we just snapped for a few weeks, but he would snap me like 15 times a day without saying anything. a few weeks later, he randomly texted me at 9pm or something and asked me if I wanted to go to a club with his friends the same night. I guess he thought everything was back to normal now that he had apologized, but it was already 9 and i had a lot going on so i passed. also because i have self respect and I dont want to be that girl. we've been snapping ever since, but its killing me. the silence is really weighing on me. I've tried dating and talking to other people but nothing helps me forget about him. i just want to see him again and get to know him again. its my 20th birthday on friday, and i know he will text me. I'm thinking of telling him that I miss talking to him because I think that even though we've tried communicating, so many things have gotten lost in translation. I think he thinks im completely done with him and I want to change that. its been months and i feel like life is too short to dwell on it so much. even if i get shut down by him now, at least i wont live in regret that i never told him. thoughts? should i do it or let it go? 

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. Unfortunately it seems he's just looking for casual and hookups. Please don't chase him. Enjoy your birthday with friends family and people who care about you. 

[d0nnivain]

He is not somebody who wants to be your BF.   The more time you spend with him the stronger your emotions grow.  Telling him you like him will only give him leverage to pressure you into bed again & then ghost you. He has already told you this is his pattern.  he flunked out of school & has now dropped out for all intents & purposes.  This is not a guy you can build something with.