Another Lonely Xmas

[digger]

I am so damned tired of it all. I thot I was getting over it but I'm just not.

I was so heartened 6 months ago when I found out she was NOT moving out of state to be with OM. Then so heartened when my daughter told me they rarely talk on the phone anymore. And then even heartened some more when

I called ew to ask her to go to a game and she politlely said No but not with the hate and anger she had shown me these 1 1/2 years.

Now comes xmas and i almost had the nerve worked up to call her again but i asked my daughter "do you think mom would go out with me New years Eve?"

"No" she said. I asked her why. She said 'because her b/f is coming up from Texas to spend new years...dad he stays in a hotel and when he comes to the house i just leave". I was shattered. So much false hope down the toilet again. All those 23 memories of Xmas around the tree watching each other smile. Of watching her open my gifts and saying "how did you know?'

Why oh why cant I just tell her to go to **** after the things shes said and done?? I wish for Xmas that someday she knows the pain and I hope it lasts her a long time.

[witabix]

I feel for you Digger.

 

Please do not wish pain to someone else.

 

Thats not good for you.

 

Believe in the new day tomorrow, and yourself. Find peace in your own heart, I know that is probably hard for you right now, but find your own inner peace.

 

I wish you peace Digger.

[travellingman]

I am happy I'm not alone this holiday, but the woman I love is not with me, and it's driving me f*cking crazy.

[A Beer Drinker]

This is my first XMAS without my wife. I have been living off of a steady diet of cigarettes and beer, go figure. I am blessed enough to have my kids tonight though, so that helps.

[BDR]

I hope I can suggest something for you guys, since I have not been married or divorced. Maybe if you consider, even at this late juncture to go and do something for somebody else. Maybe go and volunteer at a hospital or homeless shelter. Maybe just grab some old clothes and cruise around town and give them to some homeless people on the street. Do something nice for someone else and take your mind off your pain. Give someone else joy.

 

Call some old friends. Ones who are in happy relationships or happy in life. Let them talk about what is going on in thier lives. Let them pick you up. Go to church, if that is your thing. Be with family.

 

All in all, just don't sit around and stew in your own juices. Get out of the house!!

 

My girlfriend broke up with me last night on Christmas eve. It can't ruin your holiday. Lets all move on together.

[Amethyst020]

i don't have the years of marriage behind me like you do but this is my first christmas alone. i have so many friends that say that I am doing so good despite what is going on. even though you express so much pain & lonliness I have a feeling that you ARE so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

 

Again like others say please oh please surround yourself with friends & family. your daughter sounds like a very sensitive and respectful child towards you. You HAVE to believe that you ex has so much more crap going on in her head than you do. Keep your chin up...smile more!

[digger]

Sensitive and respectful????? Not a chance. And then it got worse...

Xmas Day she went with her mother to her mothers 100 miles away and I was sick. Couldnt make it there. Daughter calls me and I made arrangements for our Xmas on Monday. I wait all day for her arrival. A call at 530pm is hers. She cant (wont) make it. Shes to busy with her freinds.

I admit i cried--she told me to 'quit feeling sorry for myself'. She just doesnt get it. I do!!! Im sick of being treated like 3rd class. The girl cant even see her own father on Xmas Day. I feel like returning her $200 worth of gifts and think i will. After all, she doesnt give a damn.

[Robin23]

Digger, I know exactly how you feel. It almost killed me when she left (literally), and this birthday-chirstmas I just went through was the worst in my life (yah, I had a day of beer and cigarettes to). I had major emergency surgery a month after she left, and I am still feeling sick, physically as well as mentally. She left August 13th for another man after 23 years of marriage, and I would say the last 22 were good years. Anyways, don't give up on your daughter, if it wasn't for my two kids I probably wouldn't be here to write this today. I feel your pain, but give it time, things will get better, try to understand this is hard on the kids to, no matter what age they are and I know it doesn't help them to see me crushed by what the ex did to me. Try and keep busy and talk to friends and family.

All the best;

Robin

[scobro]

She left August 13th for another man after 23 years of marriage, and I would say the last 22 were good years.

 

Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I was married 2 years and I am living the worse pain ever.I cannot imagine after 23 years how you must be feeling.I am so sorry for your pain my friend.The only thing I can say is I read somewhere that every relationship has an expiry date whether its due to death or one leaves the other if you get involved with someone there is always going to be the final pain at the end expiry date.

[Robin23]

Yes scobro the pain almost killed me. I loved that woman with all I had, and after 23 years for her to do that to me was almost more than I could bear, both physically and mentally. I said I would do anything for her, anything except share her with another man. She opted for the other man. I had that to contend with, and two angry kids, well, not really kids anymore, 18, and 21. They still hate her for what she did, they are entitled to feel how they want. The om threw away his marriage of 36 years because of it to, so two people were hurt badly, two families ripped apart.

This site has helped me quite a bit, just reading what has happened to other people helps. No matter how bad things get, I just remember they can always get worse, but hopefully better.