Im going to break it off with her on xmas...

[Mydish1]

Sometimes its easier said than done. But honestly im just a one woman man. Besides doing casual dating with women will just put a dent into my wallet.

 

Previously i could care less if she did stuff with her bf or whatever about him. But...this is xmas weekend and i know these 2 days she's spending it with him & his family even if she doesnt say it out straight, altho i spent yesterday with her. Just the thought of it is painful, and i realize that i actually do care more than i thought.

 

She said she wants to break up with her bf, but doesnt want to hurt his feelings. mentioned something bout him leaving the country in a few months and hopes he'll forget about her. One time i asked "i dont understand but how can you be with someone you dont have feelings for?" she replied something about being a habit/comfort zone, she knows his whole family and whatnot. On our 4th date she told me about her bf...i was ok and said i would give her time...but honestly i dont think all the time in the world is going to help her make a quick decision.

 

Regardless of all this, i've been lying to myself. She even said this has potential to be exclusive. In the end she's just leading me on. In reality she's just being spineless, selfish, and inconsiderate. Besides even if i do end up being her next bf, she could probably be pulling this same crap behind my back when i least expect it.

 

Sometimes i really wish i knew what her agenda is. She seems to be concerned of how i introduce her to people. Yesterday we went on a double date with my bro & his fiance. Before meeting up she asked, "what do your bro know about us?" did you say we were friends, bf/gf, or friends with benefits? I reply, "why are you afraid of what people think?"

 

So far everything she's done and said has shown her interest level that's through the roof. But it's also shown that im her dirty little secret. Which she's afraid to let people know about.

 

Who knows i could casual date and not take this to heart, and give this more time to develop. im pretty sure she would be more decisive if i did date other women...because she easily gets jealous if i bring up other women or look at them in public...but i guess i dont have the potential to casual date and see her too. Anyway....im doing some traveling next month. I'm going to say "i dont think this is going to work out...do me a favor when im gone next month, forget about me."

It does hurt that i have to do this, because we just have so much in common its ridiculous. I guess some things in life are better off being left behind.

 

if anyone has their own opinion on this, please tell me...im rather confused.

[JayKay]

If you are not comfortable being someone's 'thing on the side' then by all means, break it off.

 

It sounds like she has her cake and wants to eat it, too.

 

She likes her 'comfort' zone, it's all cozy and warm. And then when she needs to spice it up a little, there's you.

 

Sounds great....FOR HER.

 

 

 

You should break it off and let her figure out where her head's at and what she wants. As long as you let things go on, chances are, they'll go on.

[lilmoma1973]

 

Totally agree with Jay she is having her cake and eating it too!! As long as you continue to play her game she will do this ... You should kick her to the curb if she won't chose one or the other!! She can't have it both ways!! You should tell her how you feel and if she can't stop seeing him then ,you can say goodbye!! Good luck

[Mydish1]

JayKay and lilmoma, thanks for replying.

 

I think im going to tell her a few days before i leave for my trip.

But in a sense it's hard for me to do. Because i can tell she really does want to be a part of my life, and especially in a relationship. I can tell she truly does care about me. She wants to see how i work (on my design projects), she wants to meet my sister (she claims she likes to help people) (i said it might be helpful if my younger sister had an older sister cause she's at a curious age)...but so far i've denied her of it. I guess a part of me cant fully trust her since she still has the bf.

 

And it does suck for me to be empathetic about these situations. She claims her bf has been very supportive of her and has changed her views on things, which makes it all the harder to 'hurt his feelings' by breaking up. makes me wonder why girls would rather spend a lifetime in misery than in happiness...

 

I guess you could say she knows she's standing on thin ice with me. A couple weeks ago she was drunk on the phone and asking how i felt about all this and tells me she feels guilty about it. in a sense, knowing all this makes me not want to say anything about breaking off with her. This situation is tough cause she's such a sweetheart.

[Mary3]

This is Total Cra* and you need to end this ASAP. She is stringing you while she has HIM. She is not OVER him , still has feelings....WHY ? Because she never properly ended it by NOT CONTACTING this person and YOU are left with the end result . ZERO.

 

Why would you want someone or even wait for someone who is still having feelings and or/ possibly sleeping with someone else and wants you to WAIT ? For what ? The noose around your neck to get tighter until you choke to death ?

 

Take the rope off your neck. Time to breathe again.