why you should not pick up the phone!!!

[dahlia]

Hi everyone. Merry xmas! My ex dumped me two mths ago. I was heartbroken. He only called me once---two wks ago, and luckily at that time I didn't pick up b/c all he talked about was how he had moved on.

 

Last night, my phone rang. I was shocked to see that it was him, so of course I stupidly answered. Basically he was just calling about the dog that we shared together. He said that he could tell that the dog misses me and he wants me to keep in touch with the dog, come see it, etc. He moved two states away!!!! Anyhow, I said that it wasn't a good idea and he kept insisting. He told me he has a new girlfriend, and that she was on her way so he had to go.

 

That's my story. So please, if you were dumped, listen to the message--don't pick up. If they want you back they will say it

[Art_Critic]

You have all the power .. tell him to f-off..

 

He just wants to keep the connection to you open.. don't let him..

[dahlia]

Thanks, Art. why would he want to keep the connection to me open? That doesn't make any sense. He left me, moved 200 miles away, and now has a new girlfriend. He sure doesn't need me for anything!

[Art_Critic]

He sure doesn't need me for anything!

 

But he keeps calling you.. it isn't the dog..

 

He does need something from you.. it may just be that he wants you as a backup in case the new girl doesn't work out..

Calling you and using the dog keeps him imformed about you..

 

he has a GF now..next time he calls don't answer..

[dreamguy]

Damn right about that. He might also be calling because his new girl friend (that is, if he really has one) is not giving him the emotional support he needs. He is seeking it from you.

Don't give it to him. He is the one who left and he should understand the consequences of his decision.

Remember, you have no proof he has a girlfriend. It can be a lie, just like the story he made up about the dog so he could call you and hear your voice.

I agree with Art_Critic: it isn't the dog !

Be strong, go on with your life for now... as hard as this can be, it will get easier day by day... especially if you can meet someone new or keep yourself busy with friends. If he decides to come back then it will be up to YOU to decide if you should take him back or not.

[dahlia]

Hey dreamguy! That is so funny that you said, "if he really has a new girlfriend" b/c he said, "hey I'm going to call her right now and let you talk to her" I said, "why?" and he said something lame like when I come and see the dog, etc. So he acted like he was talking to her on the cell phone, and he had me on the landline. He went on and on about sorry to wake her--it was 1am, he knew her kid was asleep--whatever, and then of course, he came back on and said she wasn't up to talking. It made me doubt it a bit, but, then he said later in the conversation that he had to go b/c he was expecting "company". I was like, go, but please don't call me anymore.

 

He left me one final message saying how he really enjoyed talking to me. What::::????? All he basically talked about is bartending and getting phone numbers all night from women. I said, "hey good for you, now you can have your pick, or date as many as you can" And he was like "oh, no, after our relationship I'm not falling for anyone deep again. You know how fast I fall in love." I was sick all over again. Remembering how he said he had been waiting for me his whole life, was soooooooo in love with me. All a bunch of BS. I was just used. And it makes me sick.

 

So I will have another drink on this rainy holiday, spent alone. Friends all invited me, but, I wouldn't be much fun today.

[dreamguy]

All he basically talked about is bartending and getting phone numbers all night from women.

Ask yourself, do you really want a player ? Do you want someone who focuses on getting phone numbers ?

 

I said, "hey good for you, now you can have your pick, or date as many as you can"

It would have been nicer if you replied "Wooow ! You're finally living your dream eh ? You must be so proud hahahaha. I'm so happy for you !"

Even if you would have had to fake it and control yourself to do that.

 

And he was like "oh, no, after our relationship I'm not falling for anyone deep again. You know how fast I fall in love."

A nice reply would be "Well be careful dear ! I wouldn't want you to fall and break your leg... otherwise who's going to take care of the dog ?"

 

I was sick all over again. Remembering how he said he had been waiting for me his whole life, was soooooooo in love with me. All a bunch of BS. I was just used. And it makes me sick.

I know how you feel Dahlia, I have been in your shoes. Feeling used, sick, deceived, frustrated... you name it I felt it !

You must have been reading my reply and thinking to yourself "How can this guy ask me to be so rude and cynical/sarcastic, doesn't he know I love this man and I'm not playing games here !"

Well, Dahlia I know you're hurting... I know you probably feel the fire consuming your heart at this very second but I'm going to ask you to stop remembering the nice words and the nice moments for a minute.

Nice words and nice moments spent with your ex are what make you soft and right now you need to be strong ! You need to remind yourself how insensitive this guy can be. Calling you to brag about his conquests and/or his current gf !

I'm willing to bet 1 million dollars that he doesn't even have 1 phone number. And, in case he truly has a gf she will be dumping him soon when she finds out about his true deceptive nature. Thank God you were not the one who got trapped with such a man. A real man who Loved you in the past will also respect you enough to care for your feelings even after a break up. A year from now you will understand my words, you are lucky that he broke up with you.

When my ex broke up with me, I was blinded by Love and all I wanted was to have her again. Today 1.5 years later I thank God our ways parted because she would have most likely wrecked my life with her insensitive and selfish character.

[grace2005]

Hey dreamguy it's been a long time since you have posted on here. I think the last time you posted was back in July. I read alot of your threads from June of 2004 about "no contact rule does work". This was back in middle of september. I recently joined this site in october. I don't know if you have read any of my threads. I think you give good advice.

[ashley83]

A year from now you will understand my words, you are lucky that he broke up with you.

QUOTE]

 

Amen to that!

[dreamguy]

grace2005, Yes, that's true. I used to post a lot on this forum and more specifically in the "breaking up" section back in July-September 2004.

Thanks for the compliment but all I can say is that I try to be as honest as I can when I give my opinion, even if my words are not the gentle words broken hearted people often long to hear.

 

I'm going to say one last thing as I don't want to hijack Dahlia's thread

I truly believe that once Dahlia meets the right man... the man who will respect her before loving her she will see the huge difference !

I hope all broken hearted people out there will find real happiness again very soon with an authentic person worthy of both their time and their love ! In the mean time, be strong and have faith no matter how hard it can get at times. That's how you will prove to yourself that you are unique !