Boyfriend has a problem going down on me

[Jennifer]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for little less than a month now, and we have only started to become intimate with each other.

 

I'm in my late 20's and he's in his late 40's, but I've had more parteners than he has.

 

I really enjoy recieving oral sex and he hasn't yet done this to me even though I've told him how much I like it. He told me he'd never been with a woman who had so much vaginal secretion as me and he was a bit nervous about getting all my secretion in his mouth, but I told him that other guys never complained about such a thing before.

 

He told me that ex-girlfriend had a very "strong" odor down there and he couldn't do it to her because he didn't like the smell, but with me it was just the secretion. I told him that most men are turned on my the odor of the vagina (after a bath or washing when aroused off course!)and I coulnd't understand where he was coming from. I showed him a position he'd never tried before which forced him to look at my vagina and apparently he'd never even looked closely at one before. Isn't this a bit strange?

 

I have no problem giving him oral sex and exploring his penis which he loves and always asks me to do to him. He said he would do it to me (go down on me) when he was ready. Everything else he does is very satisfying (he has no problem stimulating me with his hands, ect.) but I just

 

wonder if this is a common thing with some men. Could this mean that he is chauvanistic deep down?

[beep]

Try laying down on a towel, then as he is doing his thing on you, he can use the towel to wipe your secretion, a month is pretty quick for that. using a towel will definitely help.

My boyfriend and I have been going out for little less than a month now, and we have only started to become intimate with each other. I'm in my late 20's and he's in his late 40's, but I've had more parteners than he has.

 

I really enjoy recieving oral sex and he hasn't yet done this to me even though I've told him how much I like it. He told me he'd never been with a woman who had so much vaginal secretion as me and he was a bit nervous about getting all my secretion in his mouth, but I told him that other guys never complained about such a thing before. He told me that ex-girlfriend had a very "strong" odor down there and he couldn't do it to her because he didn't like the smell, but with me it was just the secretion. I told him that most men are turned on my the odor of the vagina (after a bath or washing when aroused off course!)and I coulnd't understand where he was coming from. I showed him a position he'd never tried before which forced him to look at my vagina and apparently he'd never even looked closely at one before. Isn't this a bit strange?

 

I have no problem giving him oral sex and exploring his penis which he loves and always asks me to do to him. He said he would do it to me (go down on me) when he was ready. Everything else he does is very satisfying (he has no problem stimulating me with his hands, ect.) but I just

 

wonder if this is a common thing with some men. Could this mean that he is chauvanistic deep down?

[Tony T]

There are many, many men who are unwilling to give a woman oral sex...for a number of reasons. And this man seems to have had some experiences I can well understand.

 

Keep yourself very clean at all times during your sexual encounters and perhaps one day he will venture down there, but the chances are less than ten percent. He has been very upfront with you. His age has nothing to do with it. There are 80 year old male virgins and men who have not performed oral sex on a woman.

 

If you can't be understanding of his unwillingness to do this and if it is a crucial requirement of your involvement with a man, cut it off (the relationship, I mean) now and move on. You haven't been seeing him that long.

 

But don't continue in this relationship expecting that any day he will give you oral sex. It may never happen, EVER. And it has nothing to do with him being chauvinistic...not any relevance at all. It has to do with a personal preference he has. You've got to respect that and deal with it or move on to a man who can please you in that regard.

[Artlover]

I hate to say it, but I think this man is selfish (and the fact that he is in his late 40's indicates that he is probably pretty set in his ways). The fact that you have told him how important oral sex is to you and the fact that he is ready and (very) willing to receive it from you without responding in kind is very telling. Obviously pleasing you sexually is not at the top of his list of priorities. I wouldn't be surprised if this behavior hasn't surfaced in other small awys you haven't indicated here.

 

Anyway, I think you should try talking to him one more time and try to reach some sort of compromise. The fact that you posted here, is enough to tell me this means something to you. I think Tony is right, it isn't likely this guy will ever go down on you. And if he does, it could prove to be a struggle each time. Then eventually you'll just stop asking and then the resentment starts.

 

The secretion story (what man thinks too much secretion is a "bad" thing?) and the bad hygiene of former girlfrinds are not good enough reasons to punish you! He's being a real baby about this.

 

Good luck. I hope you can work something out with him.

 

P.S. I've never met a man who was simply unwilling to perform oral sex on a woman. I can only think of two reasons why a man might feel that way: 1. some sort of hang up or 2. they feel it would make them less "manly." And I want no part of either reason. Yuk!

There are many, many men who are unwilling to give a woman oral sex...for a number of reasons. And this man seems to have had some experiences I can well understand. Keep yourself very clean at all times during your sexual encounters and perhaps one day he will venture down there, but the chances are less than ten percent. He has been very upfront with you. His age has nothing to do with it. There are 80 year old male virgins and men who have not performed oral sex on a woman. If you can't be understanding of his unwillingness to do this and if it is a crucial requirement of your involvement with a man, cut it off (the relationship, I mean) now and move on. You haven't been seeing him that long. But don't continue in this relationship expecting that any day he will give you oral sex. It may never happen, EVER. And it has nothing to do with him being chauvinistic...not any relevance at all. It has to do with a personal preference he has. You've got to respect that and deal with it or move on to a man who can please you in that regard.