Bad me

[renaissancewoman101]

I am really bad. I guess I can give up hope now. I know you guys are going to get mad at me but I went and gave his mother a call to see how the ex is doing. The mother was happy to hear from me and she talked to me for a while. Something changed but I am not sure what. Now she doesnt seem to be as hopeful about me and the ex getting back together. She does think that I should still clean up my life, but she says she doesnt have a crystal ball to see if the ex will come back to me or not. She did say that the last time she talked to him, he still had feelings for me. I told her that I would keep in touch with her and she was ok about that. I dont know. I dont understand people. Am I really being naieve here about things, really????? She still tells me that I should always have hope and take it one day at a time. But she tells me that in order for me to get the ex back or another guy, I have to get rid of my current situation. I am confused about this whole thing. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch before I moved away, but she said she was busy with things, so I was like ok. I am confused, why is she like this with me now, considering two weeks ago, she called me to tell me to keep hope alive and that there is a chance. WHY DO PEOPLE GO OUT TO INTENTIONALLY HURT ME??? WHAT THE HELL DO I DO TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO HURT ME? DO I HAVE DOORMAT WRITTEN ALL OVER ME???? PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY SHE DID THAT???

[renaissancewoman101]

Anybody??? advice???

[omegaRED]

People who shouldn`t be involved are getting involved. That`s what happened. His mother has no place to tell you to hold on to hope or give up for that matter. I was tempted to "use" my good connections with her family to find out a thing or two, but decided against it, because this was between ME and HER, and nobody else. I was very close to her mother and father, and her sister too. No matter if she was wrong or her mother or sister didn`t approve, this is a matter between TWO people only. So don`t try to squeeze any further info from his family. Cut your losses, if anyone from his side tries to talk to you about your relationship, just tell him that it`s just between you and your ex.

[Lishy]

I think he has met someone else but she doesn't want to be the one who tells you. He has said or done something that tells her he is moving on but she feels bad telling you this.

 

That is my take on this it isnt gospel!

[renaissancewoman101]

I already knew that he had a new gf. He admitted that to me the last time we got together which was about two weeks ago. We got together because I was moving away and he told me that we could hang out, so we did. He doesnt tell me much about the gf. I do know from other sources that she is only 18 and I do know her parents and I probably know who she is although I am really bad with associating names with faces.

 

I guess I have to give a brief synopsis as to why I called the mother yesterday. About three months ago, my bf of two years broke up with me because he lost his feelings for me, felt that there was no future for us, and because we shared very little in common. Last year when he took a break from me because he thought I was too clingy, I called his mother right away to find out why he did that and was there any way for me to patch things up. She told me to calm down and have hope and that she would talk to him to find out what was going on. He ended up making up with me a week later. Things were great for a while until this year when I started to lose my feelings for him and started to ignore him and treat him badly and spend very little time with him. He ended up breaking up with me almost a year to the day of our last breakup. This time, I gave him time, about two weeks before I really began to miss him and realize that he might not be coming back. I didnt try to get a hold of the mother, at first. I tried to talk to him, talk to his friends, etc. NOthing worked. He also met someone this time, someone who was only 18 and was childlike, like him. He would not admit that to me at first, until the last time we went out. The last time we went out, we went out for a dinner and a movie. After dinner we had to go back to his house to find out movie times. He told me that he didnt thnink his parents were home (from the way he was acting concerning his parents, after the breakup, I thought his parents were mad at me and were avoiding me) so I told him I could wait in car if his parents were home. He told me I didnt have to. His parents were home and his mom talked to me a bit while he was looking for movie times. She didnt seem mad at me, she just wanted to know how I was and why I was moving away.

 

Ten days later, while I am out in CA preparing for my move out there, I get a phone call from his mother. She calls me to tell me to have hope that I can get her son to come back to me because she tells me she talked to him later that week to see how the dinner and movie with me went. She tells me that her son told her that he had a good time and that he would miss me when I moved away. She took that as he still having feelings for me. She told me to keep hope alive, to still move away, but to clean up my life, keep in touch with them, and that her son would come back to me, once I cleaned up my life, because, as she saw it, he still had feelings for me, but he couldnt stand it because I was still attached to my gay best friend. She told me to let my gay best friend go and everything would work out. She told me to keep in touch with them and keep some contact with her son, and things should work out. She gave me a lot of hope.

 

I called her yesterday because I wanted to find out from her if it was a good idea to send her son (the ex) a birthday gift. His birthday is Jan 2nd and I am thinking of sending him a friendship poem that I wrote myself and a card. This time she was different with me on the phone. I asked her if I took what she said before into consideration and did as she asked, was she pretty sure that the ex would come back to me. This time she told me that she didnt have a crystal ball and she didnt know, but that I should still clean up my life if I want to find another bf, or want the ex back, but she wasnt sure if he was going to come back or not. She did tell me that it was ok for me to send her son a card and/or gift. At first she thought I was going to try to see him and she told me that she didnt think I had time to get together with him because of what I had told her about my schedule. She did tell me to always have hope because hope is what keeps us alive and keeps us going. She said for me to take it one day at a time and dont rush things and dont freak out, overreact so much, just take it slowly and see what happens. I told her that I wanted to keep in touch with her and she said that was ok. I did ask her to go out to lunch with her before I left but she said she was busy. She was surprised I was still in town because she thought I moved away already. We talked for about 20 minutes. I really want him back and had hoped she could have been the shining light because she was the one who gave me hope first by calling me last week and giving me some hope.