My fiancè has not texted me since she's been on her period. Should I text her to check up on her?

[anonymous365]

My fiancè hasn't texted me since she's been on her period. We ended in an argument 2 to 3 days ago, and haven't talked since. Should I text her to check up on her? Or should I wait for her to text me?

[d0nnivain]

I don't think her period has anything to do with this.  Why mention it? 

If you want her to remain your FI, reach out & try to smooth other whatever the problem was.  Somebody has to make the 1st move.  Conflict resolution is an important part of marriage.  

[basil67]

9 minutes ago, anonymous365 said:

My fiancè hasn't texted me since she's been on her period. We ended in an argument 2 to 3 days ago, and haven't talked since. Should I text her to check up on her? Or should I wait for her to text me?

I also wonder what her period has to do with this.

I need more context for the issue: What was the argument about and why do you think she should have texted you first?  For example, did she tell you not to contact her?

Edited March 21 by basil67

[anonymous365]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

I also wonder what her period has to do with this.

I need more context for the issue: What was the argument about and why do you think she should have texted you first?  For example, did she tell you not to contact her?

The argument was more of a she got really really angry at me as she told me about a problem that just popped up and i tried giving solutions but she wasnt having it. Prior to the argument she mentioned she started her period and I am aware that women go through certain extremes of emotions therefore I was just wondering if it would be a wise decision to contact her or if I should let her have her space. Whenever we have arguments she's usually the first one to text me, not to mention she always sends me messages throughout the day. This is probably the longest we've gone without contact in a while. Hence I was wondering if it would be a wise decision to contact her or if I should give her her space for now.

[d0nnivain]

You give somebody space for a few hours not a few days.  Yes contact her.   Do not mention her being emotional because of her period.  That is an untrue old wives' tale, sexist & insulting.  

[basil67]

7 minutes ago, anonymous365 said:

The argument was more of a she got really really angry at me as she told me about a problem that just popped up and i tried giving solutions but she wasnt having it. Prior to the argument she mentioned she started her period and I am aware that women go through certain extremes of emotions therefore I was just wondering if it would be a wise decision to contact her or if I should let her have her space. Whenever we have arguments she's usually the first one to text me, not to mention she always sends me messages throughout the day. This is probably the longest we've gone without contact in a while. Hence I was wondering if it would be a wise decision to contact her or if I should give her her space for now.

I feel like you don't know her very well.  She's your fiancee, so surely you would be aware of what HER cycles are like...and not going off something you read.  Is she moody before her period - or during her period - or are her emotions rock solid all through the month?   As someone who was always solid throughout her cycle, I'd be offended if my partner wasn't aware that I don't have mood swings. 

Of this bolded discussion how did it end up with her being really angry with you?  Why was she angry and what did she say?   Could it be that she believes the relationship is over?

Regarding making contact, if she's always the one to contact you first, it's highly likely that she's sitting around saying to herself "It's always left to me to patch things up, so I'm going to see if and when he actually has the balls to make the first move in reconciliation"   

 

Edited March 21 by basil67

[Gebidozo]

36 minutes ago, anonymous365 said:

The argument was more of a she got really really angry at me as she told me about a problem that just popped up and i tried giving solutions but she wasnt having it. Prior to the argument she mentioned she started her period and I am aware that women go through certain extremes of emotions therefore I was just wondering if it would be a wise decision to contact her or if I should let her have her space. Whenever we have arguments she's usually the first one to text me, not to mention she always sends me messages throughout the day. This is probably the longest we've gone without contact in a while. Hence I was wondering if it would be a wise decision to contact her or if I should give her her space for now.

Of course you should contact her.

It’s strange that she’s always the first to reach out after an argument. You had a fight and you haven’t even sent her a message in 3 days? What are you waiting for?

[anonymous365]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I feel like you don't know her very well.  She's your fiancee, so surely you would be aware of what HER cycles are like...and not going off something you read.  Is she moody before her period - or during her period - or are her emotions rock solid all through the month?   As someone who was always solid throughout her cycle, I'd be offended if my partner wasn't aware that I don't have mood swings. 

Of this bolded discussion how did it end up with her being really angry with you?  Why was she angry and what did she say?   Could it be that she believes the relationship is over?

Regarding making contact, if she's always the one to contact you first, it's highly likely that she's sitting around saying to herself "It's always left to me to patch things up, so I'm going to see if and when he actually has the balls to make the first move in reconciliation"   

 

No it wasn't the type of argument that would mean the relationship is over, it was moreso that it was a problem that she had encountered in regards to something she told someone in confidence which was spread around without her knowledge. I tried giving solutions and she let out her anger and frustration on me. I'd also like to mention I'm pretty inexperienced in the biology of women and their responses as we're both high school lovers and are only 18. Therefore, I know I must seem quite uneducated in this area but I haven't had enough experience. As for her period, for the time I've known her she's never been THAT irritable. Hence, I'm just trying to make sure I don't annoy her especially since her emotions may be all over the place understandably. Also, as for the patch up argument comment at the end, it's actually been quite the opposite lately, meaning I've had to patch up arguments by reaching out therefore maybe part of this may be to see if she would. 

[basil67]

Let's dial this back....the two of you are 18 and are engaged to be married?   How long have you been in a relationship?

[anonymous365]

4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Let's dial this back....the two of you are 18 and are engaged to be married?   How long have you been in a relationship?

2 years but I wouldn't call it a relationship, it was more so established that we were friends that invented to get married. We are both religious too so it prohibits us from 'dating'. We've been through the harshest tribulations together and stayed loyal to one another through it hence we decided that we want to get married in less than 2 years.

[Wiseman2]

If you two had an argument, there's nothing wrong with reaching out to her. If you both park in your corners angry, misunderstandings can grow. 

[anonymous365]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you two had an argument, there's nothing wrong with reaching out to her. If you both park in your corners angry, misunderstandings can grow. 

Thank you. This is what I needed. 

[d0nnivain]

Read a book called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.  It's about gender communication issues.  

As her BF/FI you wanted to fix her problem so you offered suggestions.  What you didn't understand is that she didn't want you to fix the problem.  She wanted you to listen & truly hear her.  You didn't do that.  You were trying to force solutions on her & take action.   The book will explain to you that your offer while kind is a typical male response & her upset reaction at being "fixed" was a typical female response when she wasn't feeling understood. 

Since you are religious, pray for wisdom & grace.  Also pray that she is in a forgiving mood.  

[Alpacalia]

Agree with @d0nnivain. 

Please be sure to put a little TLC into it. You know how when women are sick often times boyfriends and husbands get squimmish? Say something like this I am so sorry for your awful feelings by trying to use a "fix it" strategy when what you really were needing was TLC. 

This vid sums it up quite well:

 

Edited March 22 by Alpacalia

[ross relnick]

yeah, you definitely need to reach out to her. you shouldn't even mention whatever it was that you were arguing about. the important thing right now is to mend fences. be sweet! figuring out how to negotiate misunderstandings is an important part of being in a relationship.

[elsaberg]

On 3/22/2024 at 12:23 AM, anonymous365 said:

No it wasn't the type of argument that would mean the relationship is over, it was moreso that it was a problem that she had encountered in regards to something she told someone in confidence which was spread around without her knowledge. I tried giving solutions and she let out her anger and frustration on me. I'd also like to mention I'm pretty inexperienced in the biology of women and their responses as we're both high school lovers and are only 18. Therefore, I know I must seem quite uneducated in this area but I haven't had enough experience. As for her period, for the time I've known her she's never been THAT irritable. Hence, I'm just trying to make sure I don't annoy her especially since her emotions may be all over the place understandably. Also, as for the patch up argument comment at the end, it's actually been quite the opposite lately, meaning I've had to patch up arguments by reaching out therefore maybe part of this may be to see if she would. 😔

It's been almost a month now since you posted this.
Did you end up reaching out to her? What happened when you did?
I'm curious how that all went down.