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Second Chances just prolongs the pain


Natalie05

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I've tried the second chance thing and it doesn't work. Save yourselves prolonged agony and suffering and cut the umbilical cord and move on (no matter how hard it is...).

 

I gave my ex so many second chances and it never worked. Then after all those second chances he dumped me and made sure it hurt.

 

I've spent the last 6 months restoring my self esteem and self respect. Had a fabulous Christmas and woke up this morning feeling great! I got over my ex finally and what happens? He's baaaaaccckkkk..............an email from him totally out of the blue asking me how my Christmas was, etc. I sent him a Xmas card the first week of December (along with cards I sent everyone) then the moment I mailed it I regretted it. Didn't expect to ever hear from him again - didn't care. I just wanted to show I was a nice person and had no ill feelings - the card had no message other than Happy Holidays.

 

Well I know exactly what his motives are.......he spent the holidays with his big family and everyone in his family is married with kids and he was the single man out - he started thinking and remembered what a great person I was the 2 years we were together and - he emails wanting to know how I'm doing.............

 

I know good and well trying to be friends won't work, he's probably wanting sex with a real woman (not his porno mags) and that's why he's contacting me..........or he hasn't had success at the bars in meeting a replacement.

 

I was screwed and hurt so much by him - I wish I didn't send a xmas card - and I don't want him back. I'm over him now and don't want him back.

 

I spent the last 6 months obsessing over what happened, I wanted him back, I was depressed - my emotions were all over the place. Then at about the 5 month mark I started getting better.......then this last month I've been great. I've actually been glad we broke up because I see and think clearly now and realize he was such a loser - I deserve better.

 

And of course now that I'm over him - he comes back in contact. They always do.........

 

But this time I don't care anymore - I don't want him. I want someone new and better.

 

Learn from me - you do get over your ex - it just takes time. Then you're actually glad and when they eventually contact you (and they will) it won't phase you at all.

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You send him a Christmas card breaking NC 3 weeks ago and now your all upset that HE emailed you..

 

How dare he do that..

 

 

Come on.. you wanted the contact.. you sent the card.. he contacted you.. Now what ??

 

If you were over him ( like you said you are ) you would not have sent him the card initating contact..

 

Stop practicing the self defeating behavior and truly move on

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