Girlfriend left me for drugs and her ex

[amdaily]

I met this girl about 4 months ago. We had only been going out for three months, but were each deeply in love. I've never had a relationship that was so special to me.

 

She had confided in me that she had a trouble with drugs in the past, but quit 5 months before meeting me. I believed her, and still do. But about two weeks ago she started acting strange and broke it off saying she didn't want a boyfriend at this time. I wrote her some letters and she ended up good friends again. On Christmas we went for a long drive and had a great talk. Yesterday she said she "miss you. Really miss you as my boyfriend." And then we planned to spend our day off of work together today. I thought everything was great.

 

Last night she says she will be spending the evening at her sisters. I had a bad feeling so I drove by. Not there. Next I stopped at her ex boyfriends apartment. Her car was there. Worst feeling in the world. The guy is a coke user and worse. I now knew what she had been up to recently She really is a sweet girl inside and our time together was fantastic. Why she had to go back to drugs I will never know.

[slubberdegullion]

Thank goodness you found out about this when you did, before you got too emotionally involved.

 

There is no upside - not one - to drug use. You're not her doctor, her counsellor, her psychologist, it's not up to you to heal her. Be thankful that she's now out of your life, and you have the freedom to find someone who isn't a chemical slave.

[amdaily]

before you got too emotionally involved.

 

That's the problem. That's why this hurts so bad. I am way to emotionally involved. The past 3 months felt like 3 years. And now its all gone. I don't know what to do

[slubberdegullion]

That's the problem. That's why this hurts so bad. I am way to emotionally involved. The past 3 months felt like 3 years. And now its all gone. I don't know what to do

By all means, you're allowed to feel s***ty about this. My point was not to dismiss your feelings; rather, it was to shine a bit of a light on who she has proven herself to be.

 

Can you define exactly what it was that you love(d) about her? And, once that's done, can you measure those attributes against the obvious negatives as a drug user and a cheater?

 

I don't mean that you have to post them here; just think clearly about who you thought she was, compared to who she actually is.

 

Good luck.

[Neptune]

What may help is to do quite a bit of study on cocaine addiction. There is a mystery to addiction in that some people get involved with drugs and can at some point complete quit and never look back.

 

Others, once they become a user their direction in life is set. They will stuggle to their dying day with addiction and be dragged through hell along the way. And drag anyone with them who may choose to be drawn into their disfunctional life.

[amdaily]

Well, I've accepted it now. We spent the afternoon together and had a good long talk. I was willing to accept her back, she was willing to come back.

 

Then within a matter of hours she is back at his apartment. It's a shame, but I now realize she is not the person I thought she was.

[Spectre]

Drop her, she isnt worth it. If she was really off the coke for 5 months she shouldnt of gone back to the drug scene by going to her ex's house. She is obviously some sleazy girl who cant stay faithful or away from drugs. The irony of the situation is that her ex bf is probably feeding this addiction of hers just for sex and she's probably buying right into it. ever hear the saying "judge those by the company they keep" ? Yeah, just stay away from her, I'm sure you are hurting over her, but just think about the type of person she really is and just sit back and be happy that you arent a part of her life anymore

 

Also, as girls like this tend to do..she will realize the guy she cheating with was an ahole, the come crawling back to you with an incredible sob story and lots of dramatics, all I have to say is dont fall for it.

[amdaily]

The irony of the situation is that her ex bf is probably feeding this addiction of hers just for sex and she's probably buying right into it. ever hear the saying "judge those by the company they keep" ? Yeah, just stay away from her, I'm sure you are hurting over her, but just think about the type of person she really is and just sit back and be happy that you arent a part of her life anymore

 

Also, as girls like this tend to do..she will realize the guy she cheating with was an ahole, the come crawling back to you with an incredible sob story and lots of dramatics, all I have to say is dont fall for it.

 

No doubt about it. You shoud have heard some of the abusive messages he left on my voicemail (which he initally got by hacking her cell phone after she first broke if off). Guy is a real piece of work, but then again so is she. Guess they are both getting what they deserve.

[Becoming]

I'm sorry you're hurting amdaily. She's in love with drugs, and there's no room for you. You'll have to just walk away.

[pixiestick85]

I am really sorry for you, I knw exactlly how you feel, I was a drug user early in my life, and met someone that wasnt, he toold me that I needed to make a desision on what was important to me ,him or the drugs, it took me a while to realize that my life with him was more important, then getting high.;

Hopefully she will make the same desision.

[amdaily]

I am really sorry for you, I knw exactlly how you feel, I was a drug user early in my life, and met someone that wasnt, he toold me that I needed to make a desision on what was important to me ,him or the drugs, it took me a while to realize that my life with him was more important, then getting high.;

Hopefully she will make the same desision.

 

I apolisize in advance, you get to talk to the drunk me ---

 

I found out tonight she is a slut who deserves everything she gets in life. I spoke to her on a 28 minute call (even though it didn't feel half as long) and I'm convinced she gets everything she has set herself up to recieve in life. I'm done trying. For now on I will insist any woman I take out have a full physcological background check first

 

I also spoke to the current - or ex depending on how you look at at it - boyfriend, and really saw what a peice of **** he is to. Talk about a loser with no life plan or anything. He tells her he wishes he could have a GED, if only his mom would pay for it. But he is to ****ing lazy to get a job and pay for it himself! She is dumb enough to think he is really trying LOL

 

She says I have a temper problem whenI called her up lamenting about our past on New Yeas eve like a gentleman, but she overlooks his phone calls which threatened to kill me when we were together.

 

The worst part is I realize what a total loser I am. That I was stupid enough to fall for the seducation skills of a professionnal slut makes me feel so uttery bad that I don't know what to do with myself I gave my heart to a woman who only used me to make herself feel good. Although I now have it back, it is worse far worse for the wear.

[Mike120170]

Stop kicking yourself. I spent 14 yrs putting up with crap from my ex (lying, cheating,etc)...After spending years wondering what was wrong with me, I finally realized she was the one with the problem.

 

You aren't stupid for falling for her seduction. Doesn't take much for us men to fall for a woman. What's important is that you found out about what kind of person she really is before it was too late. Be glad her cokehead b/f didn't carry through with his threats. I know all too well how hard it is, but you have to forget about her and move on. Don't make the mistake I did by letting her ruin years of your life that you can never get back. Years that could be spent with someone that actually cares about you.