Basic Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 the mother struggles to support/raise kids (with no help from ex) for months at a time. Then the ex shows up with birthday gifts and good times. The kids think he's wonderful and just might come back to stay this time. How do long sufferring mothers cope with this? My sister is in this situation and I have no advice for her on this unfair situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 First of all, she needs to get her child support payroll deducted and not just trust that he will give her money. This is tough and unfortunately part of it. Just tell her to do the best she can for the kids. Make sure they know, however gently that daddy isn't coming back. Then, tell her to not talk negatively about him in front of them, no matter what. Her love will be remembered when they are older, more than the presents and "good time" daddy that he was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Basic Posted December 29, 2005 Author Share Posted December 29, 2005 I thought this issue was a widespread one. Thankyou Miss P for the response. Link to post Share on other sites
Roo-bie2 Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 How long? The kids will figure it out eventually. She needs to be the adult positive one. Do not lie or bad mouth dad. They will figure it out when the new wife is around and they she how much better the other family has it. Or when the other family causes the gifts to be cut off. When they are pre-teens and they want to spend time with dad but alls they do is get gifts. They feel like they are being bought out. Mom needs to learn not to compete with Dad. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 The kids definitely figure it out. My girlfriend refers to her father as 'Holiday Daddy', he's great for a party but could not maintain the day to day necessary to raise the kids like her mother did. I agree with the other poster, your sister can't bad mouth her ex but if he slips up and disappoints the kids, she can't make excuses either. It's a fine line to walk. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 I agree the kids will figure it out, as long as you instill the values into them that his behavior is wrong (without bashing him directly). My ex-bil was a 'great' dad...he'd visit his daughter on her birthday, give her a $50 cheque...then he wouldn't seem so great after the cheque bounced, time and again. Link to post Share on other sites
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